


Death by Duty

by BruceRosie



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-11-21 06:47:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 29
Words: 65,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11352066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BruceRosie/pseuds/BruceRosie
Summary: After civil war broke out through the elemental nations, civilian- shinobi relations have been shattered. In a world were shinobi are belived to be extinct and civilians struggle to survive, what will happen when a middleman is chosen? OC. I do not own any of the characters of the Narutoverse.





	1. Volume I

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Brouce Rosie here, this is my first ever complete work so I'm really excited to share it with you. Please be kind to my child, but suggestions, corrections and reviews of any kind are welcome! be warned tho, this story is set in an alternative universe and even if that might work as an excuse for the changes in how things work, I feel like I should also warn you some characters might be a bit ooc (mostly due to ignorance) so i am open to and encourage any (kindly and politely) submitted corrections on that.  
> Thats it for now, enjoy your reading folks!

Chapter one. What’s left of civilization.   
Sweat dripped down my back as I ran through the empty streets of the capital. My breathing turned into panting as I struggled to get enough oxygen in my lungs so I could keep up the pace. Sprinting past wrecked caravans, jumping over market stalls long abandoned on the sidewalks. My body tensed as I tried to move faster, the adrenaline of hearing airborne weaponry edging me forward. This was what the world had come to; scavenging for medicine and food while trying to avoid getting killed.   
That is exactly what I was doing at the pharmacy. My aunt needed antibiotics, so I decided to go on a run. The place was empty when I arrived, so I took my bag and started packing everything I needed and more. I made the terrible mistake of lowering my guard and only noticed someone behind me when I felt the cold edge of a kunai against the side of my neck. My body froze, my breath hitched in my throat and my heart skipped several beats; the blade held in the back of my jeans started to gain weight.   
“Take what you have and leave”. The raspy, deep voice of a man said behind me. As slowly as I could, I grabbed my bag and started to make my way out. “Go through the back alley, the ones in the roof will spot you otherwise”. He said referring to the people holding crossbows above or heads.   
“Thank you”. I said turning around for the first time to face him.   
He was wearing a beanie and a piece of cloth covered his nose and mouth. His right eye though, was the only thing visible, the left one being covered by a patch, and I noticed it was laden with the amount of terrible things it had seen. It was wise, an experienced gray orb, so dark it almost appeared black. I turned once again to leave, but before making my exit, just as I was opening the door that lead outside, I stopped. “If you think of it, it wasn’t really stealing”. The last thing I heard as I left the building was a low, almost barely noticeable chuckle.  
(………………………….)  
How they had managed to spot me was beyond me. All I was certain of was that the only way out was forward, and that slowing down or stopping altogether meant certain death. The kunai that once was on the waistband of my jeans was now on a tight grip on my hand. I made my way through the once busy streets as fast as my legs would allow me. Sweat started to settle on my face and loose strands of hair had started to stick to my forehead. I kept running; after all I was running for my life.   
After taking various turns and successfully losing my attackers, I arrived at my family’s building. The great solid wooden doors were a sight for sore eyes. I let go of a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding, and pulled the keys out of my leather jacket. My fingers still trembled from the adrenaline rush, but after a few attempts I managed to push the heavy gates open. As I was making my way in, I took a second to look at the marks that had been carved into the thick wood. On the early stages of the crisis people not only raided shops, but residences too, and these big wooden doors had allowed my family to get through all of it unharmed. I closed the gate, trying not to remember what had been the worst month of my life and locked it behind me once again.  
I still didn’t know what had unleashed the crisis, all I had been told was that the village hidden in the leaves had started a civil war; but as for the reason behind it I was completely in the dark.  
But right now none of that mattered. I was finally back, and thankfully unharmed.   
I took the stairs to the fifth floor still trying to control my erratic breathing, my heart had yet to stop pounding and my mind to cease racing. I dodged the wires that set booby traps as I made my way up the stairs to my aunt’s apartment. When I opened the door I was instantly surrounded by the busy atmosphere that was the compound.  
Every day was the same, the Intel department was working on the radio we had managed to bring from one of the MP stations, and had yet to find a frequency to which somebody would respond.   
Those who were in charge of our group, we called the ‘strategists’. They were assembled at the dining table sorting out supply counts, assignments and routs for the raiders.   
In the kitchen were the ones in charge of maintenance, already preparing dinner for the whole compound.  
I walked silently to the dining table, silently praying that my aunt wouldn’t spot me. I asked for one of the report sheets and stood silently to the side until someone addressed me.  
“Hiromi, your report?” said our leader without even sparing me a glance.   
Even if he was my uncle, I couldn’t expect any favoritism, he had been chosen to lead us and that burden had turned an outgoing, carefree man into the always serious, cold and calculating leader that kept our little community running.   
“I brought back what you asked and a few extras that could come in handy”. I paused for a moment before adding. “There was this guy though; he caught me at the pharmacy. For some reason he let me go no questions asked.”  
At that, he turned to watch me with concern. We might just been talking business but we were still family, and as far as I knew he was the only I had left.   
“Why would a stranger let you go? Were you followed?” I shook my head, even in my desperate departure I had made sure it was impossible for anyone to follow me unless they kept up with me, and no one ever had managed to keep up with me.  
“I made sure he couldn’t. I still don’t get why he would let me go, I guess we’ll never know. I’m not planning on making the same mistake again”. I said annoyed that I had let my guard down in the first place.  
My lack of care could have caused a lot of trouble. Foreign people always meant bad news. In our world there was no place for trust, not for people who didn’t belong to your own group.  
“All right, make a list of what you brought in, take it to the infirmary and file in your report. I also want a full description of this guy”. He finished and with a gesture of his hand he dismissed me.  
I nodded and took off for the infirmary, report sheet in hand and bag on my shoulder.  
My uncle was my mother’s brother but since she and the rest of my family lived in the countryside, the day the world went to hell, she asked him to take care of me, because after all we wouldn’t be seeing each other for a while. At first I wasn’t allowed to go out, but as time went by and the situation became more critical, everybody needed to pull their weigh. And thus I was sent on my first run.   
I opened the door to the infirmary and was greeted by our resident clinic and his apprentice. Don had been a doctor already before the break and we had been lucky enough to rescue him from a raid to the hospital where he was working at the time. He had stuck with us ever since, and as doctors were a rare luxury nowadays, he was priceless.   
His apprentice was my best friend, not really tall and with a pretty slim figure, she didn't look like much but her will power could move mountains. She had light brunette hair and her brown eyes held particular warmth that people lacked these days. We had known each other since we were seven and to this day, twelve years later, our bond was still unbreakable. She had been studying business before the crisis blew up, but as time made clear that doctors were more necessary than ever she stood up to the situation and became Don's apprentice. Ironically enough her name meant ‘hope’.  
"Hey Don, hi Nozomi, I brought you guys a little something". I said dropping my bag on the table, careful not to break any flasks within it. I opened it and backed up to let them rummage through the stuff I had brought. They emptied the bag and sorted through its contents, putting them into different groups depending on their function, all the while thanking me enough to last me a lifetime. Before I made my departure, they handed me a list of other things they would need and that I should keep my eye out for the next time I went out on a run.  
I left both medics to fuss over the supplies I had given them and headed to my place. Even if the fifth floor had been made into some sort of HQ for our compound, the rest of the floors all the way up to the top were either made into storage or residences.  
HQ held the operations room (the dining room), the infirmary and Intel quarters (previous bedrooms) and the main kitchen. The rest had been made into a mess hall in which all of the compound's population could fit. The armory had been set on an apartment on the sixth floor and was constantly guarded by watchmen that took twelve hour shifts. Nobody could get in there without a signed permit from one of the strategists and there was no exceptions made, ever.   
From the sixth floor up there were mostly residences, with exception of some storerooms or greenhouses. And the eighth and top floor was where I was headed.   
I had managed to get my own place with time, slowly earning respect as a runner and one of the main sources of supplies for the compound. It was not very big of course; living on my own meant I didn't really need much space to begin with.  
I unlocked the front door and made my way in before closing it behind me. I took off my combat boots, which had already suffered two years of raids and set off blindly for the kitchen where I stocked the candles. I lit up a single candle and looked up to the clock hung on the wall. I sighed, two more hours till dinner. I decided rice crackers would have to do for now and proceeded to scavenge my cupboards in search for some.   
After eating half the packet and having tamed my hunger, I took the candle sitting on the counter and made my way to the living room. I set my only source of light on the low table and sat down in a cushion before it. In front of me, on the table lay scattered papers, pens and random notebooks. I took in the scene before me and took a deep breath. Most papers were drafts of previous reports, and each notebook held a compilation of said reports with an additional of information I had acquired and considered worth keeping.  
I took a pen and started the draft for the report on my most recent run. Everything had to be as accurate as possible, from the moment I left the compound to the second I put my foot back in, and everything in between. Once I was done with the report and passing it into a clean sheet to turn in, I grabbed a third one and started my description of the pharmacy guy.   
Before my pen could reach the paper I hesitated. What did he look like? His mouth and nose were covered and on top of his head there was a beanie so I had absolutely no idea what color his hair was or what he looked like. I forced myself to come up with something useful, and as his image flashed through my memory I noticed something I hadn't before. Underneath the patch, his left eyeseemed to have been marked by a scar that went from his left eyebrow, straight to the top of his left cheekbone, giving the impression his eye had been cut in half. "How did I not notice that?" I mused out loud. 'You were busy getting lost in his eyes, honey' mocked a voice in my head. 'That's right, his eyes!’ I thought remembering the cold and calculating stare. If you didn't look closely they might have seemed black; but upon further inspection you could see they were actually gray, like a storm cloud just before it starts pouring down.   
Another thing I had been able to notice was his voice; his tone was demanding, hard and authoritative, like he had been using that tone most of his life. His stance had been relaxed and confident, but even if it seemed like his guard was down there was a tension and readiness to his body that said otherwise. He looked like he had been holding knives to people his entire life, he looked experienced and the aura he gave off could make the hair on the back of your neck rise.   
He was lethal.  
I took off my leather jacket and rolled up the sleeves of the sweater I had been wearing underneath. Then I grabbed the pen once again and started to pour my findings into the paper. It took time, but I had managed to finish both my reports and was gathering the papers when a knock sounded on my door. I stood and made my way there, papers in hand wandering if it was the strategists already expecting my reports.   
The person on the other side of the door was not who I was expecting. There standing awkwardly on the porch was my cousin. Tokuta and I had never been that close, but when the crisis brought everything down, he instantly turned into a brotherly figure.   
"Hey I was told you were back, want to go get dinner?" He said scratching the back of his neck. "Yeah, sure. How did your raid go today?" I asked as we took the stairs.   
Like me, Takuto was one of the few people that were allowed to leave the building for security reasons. The streets had stopped being safe long ago and only authorized people could leave the compound. The selected group was made out of four runners; Takuto, Tora (Nozomi's boyfriend), Mizuki (one of Takuto's closest friends), and myself. We were the ones in charge of getting supplies and basically keep the compound running; it was a demanding job and there was rarely a day off, but to see the results was gratifying enough.  
"It wasn't bad, not a lot of trouble; and we did manage to bring back some extras for the winter". He opened the door for the mess hall and let me through first. "I got you a new jacket and a new pair of boots, those you have are going to make me cry". I chuckled as I took my place in the queue and started waiting for my food.  
The room was filled with the hum of whispered chatter, even at night we tried to be as stealthy as we could, it was dangerous enough to live in the city, and we didn't need attention being drawn to us. "Yeah, it's high time I got rid of them, Isn't it?" I told my cousin grabbing the plate I was being handed. "I just couldn't be bothered to get a new pair". Takuto nodded understanding. He also knew the risks of going on a run, you couldn't allow yourself to hesitate, stall or lower your guard, otherwise you were done for.   
We took a seat with the rest of our friends and instantly dug in. Light banter was exchanged, stories of the day swapped and soon enough we were heading our own ways.  
The door shut behind me and I let out a sigh of exhaustion. I took off my boots and let my hair out of my pony tail. I needed a haircut desperately, but it didn't seem to matter when more important things kept coming up. I made my way to my room and with methodic movements I started to change into my pijamas, too exhausted to even consider a cold shower. Once I settled on my bed and blew out the candle my mind started wondering. That day had been the most terrifying yet exiting day since I had started going on runs.   
The grey- eyed man flashed through my mind’s eye as I went over the memory once again. He was dressed in dark clothing from head to toe. His chest was covered by a black vest with pockets strategically placed; underneath that he wore a dark gray sweatshirt that had its sleeves rolled up half way up to the elbows. His hands, I could see, were covered by fingerless gloves as he held the kunai to the back of my neck. His other hand was in his pocket, in a deceivingly relaxed pose, even if his stance and the stiffness and readiness there was to his body said otherwise. His trousers were also a deep shade of gray and were tucked into his black toeless sandals. His head was covered by a black beanie, and his face, I realized then; was not covered with a cloth, but a black scarf.  
But even having gone through his intimidating appearance once again, I knew it could never overpower the look on his face, or rather his eyes. His gaze held a mixture of emotions I had never been able to identify on anybody else’s. It was just a glimpse, a minuscule flash of it before his acting skills caught up to his eyes. But it was still there, the regret and surprisingly, curiosity were clear just for a second in his eyes. Others might have mistaken the hard look on his face for a warning, a threat even, but if you were paying enough attention you could spot it.  
The issue picked my own curiosity, the fact that someone as him (clearly very experienced and familiar to the ways of the world) had taken pity to me and decided to let me go was not something I would take lightly. These thoughts plagued my mind as I drifted into an uneasy slumber.   
Something had without a doubt been set off that day, and even if I had been expecting it I would never had thought that day was the day I would start changing. I would transform into somebody else, I would become strong, and a different person entirely.


	2. Scrutiny

Chapter 2. Scrutiny.   
The second time I encountered the gray-eyed man, three weeks had passed and I was out on a run for weapons, on my own. My reasoning had been that if I was out alone it would have been harder to catch me. Apparently I was very, very wrong and now stood in front of him, holding blades to each other’s throats.   
“Well, hello again”. He said from underneath the scarf. “We really should stop meeting like this, you could get hurt”. I wasn’t really having a good day and his mocking only made my annoyance rise.  
“What makes you think you couldn’t get hurt” I said. He had definitely picked the wrong girl to mess with. “What, are you going to hurt me? Sweetheart your hand is shaking and you are holding the kunai the wrong way.”   
He raised his eyebrows as if to make a point. His words only managed to annoy me further and a sudden urge to prove him wrong overcame me.   
“I’ve killed people before, I’m not afraid to kill you”. I said coldly.   
He just shook his head in amusement and chuckled lightly. He lowered his knife and put it back in the waistband of his jeans as he slowly made his way towards me. My body stiffened with every step and every muscle on my body felt ready to snap under the pressure the second his chest made contact with the edge of my kunai.  
He put his hands up in surrender, as if to show me he meant no harm. I let my body relax just a tiny bit and the second I did, I realized the huge mistake I had made.   
I had lowered my guard, and the moment I did he wasted no time before jumping into action.   
I felt my wrist being grabbed and squeezed harshly so as to loosen my grip on the weapon. Just as my wrist gave I felt him pull my arm and turn me around so I would face away from him. My back collided with his hard torso and my breath caught in my throat as I felt his arm snake around my neck, and hold me tightly in place. The blade that once was in my hand was now pressed against my throat and my body was being held tightly in a headlock that could knock the air out of anyone.  
“You’ve got guts, I’ll give you that. But maybe you should re-consider threatening people whose abilities you know nothing about”. His grip loosened and slowly he let me out of hold. “It’s stupid considering you don’t even know how to hold a weapon properly”.  
I turned around to glare at him. He had a point, having a weapon meant nothing if you didn't know how to use it; and as he had so kindly demonstrated, it could be used against you.  
And thus I found myself confirming my suspicions on the guy. He was dangerous, he knew what he was doing.  
"Why are you doing this? Why not kill me the first time you saw me?" I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously. "Why tell me all of this?"  
My blade was still held in his hand and his stance was still relaxed, but of course I knew better; his guard was very much still up. His face being still half covered didn't make things any easier, I would have to try and figure him out from what little information his eyes let on.   
"Would you rather I just killed you now and be done with it?" I stiffened and didn't answer. He knew that hadn't been what I meant, but I would not give him the satisfaction of seeing me squirm or hearing me beg for my life.   
Hell no, I still had my pride.   
He lifted the knife to my neck with a sigh, like killing me was nothing more than a drag to wash the bloodstains off his clothes later. He shrugged.   
"Well I guess if I have to, I should just be done with it" He looked up and his eyes met mine. I straightened and lifted my chin higher, still holding his gaze. We glared at each other even when he held the blade steadily against my jugular. I had sharpened the knife that very morning, which explained why my skin had been pierced simply by touching the weapon. If I didn’t die there, the cut would be a bitch to explain to the others.  
But I was not going to go back; that was it, he was going to kill me. And for what? Because I had to go on and open my goddamn mouth. After all curiosity did kill the cat.   
My heart pounded in my chest and my pulse was all I could hear anymore. My breath was starting to quicken and I was struggling not to start hyperventilating. I closed my eyes and heard the faint almost unnoticeable shuffle of feet. He had taken a step forward.   
This is it, I'm going to die a pointless death, having archived nothing and any chance of having a future will vanish. I thought. I sent out one last prayer to anyone who would listen, hoping for forgiveness before my body stopped living. Bye mom, bye dad, seems like I won't be seeing you again.  
Someone sighed.  
"Open your eyes. I'm not going to kill you" I slowly obliged all the while trying not to let it show just how much his actions had affected me. He was standing there, tall, proud and with his usual slouch that would have deemed him harmless in the eyes of anybody else.   
He shook his head in what looked like disbelief and then let out a low humorless chuckle. "You got guts kid" His eyes had a slight crease that meant that underneath the scarf he was smiling.   
My eyes narrowed again as I struggled to understand the man standing in front of me. What did he want? He had to have a reason not to kill me.   
He obviously had been able to read my silence and sighing once again he leant into a desk and pocketed his left hand. His right one was still out and ready to take action at a moment's notice.  
"I didn't have to kill you; it didn't matter if I did. You were not interfering" He studied me for a while, staring at me from his seat by the desk. "As to why point out the flaws in your technique and obvious lack of experience, I just felt like you could use a 'wake up call' if you will"  
I hadn't moved from my spot, still stiff and unwilling to make any moves that would attract his attention the wrong way. It was like standing in front of a starving wolf, one wrong move and I would be done for.   
"What's your name?" The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them. He looked up at me with a glint of amusement.   
"I just tried to kill you for the second time, and you want to know my name?" He asked and there was an evident smile in his voice. "I thought it was courage, but it might just be plain stupidity"   
My jaw tightened and my hands curled into fists at my sides. He must have noticed or he was simply waiting for a reaction. His eyes crinkled once again in amusement.  
"Tell you what, I'll tell you my name if you tell me yours first. You know, ladies first and whatnot"  
I considered his offer. Was there a catch? Was he tricking me into something or was he just curious? I decided it couldn’t hurt to tell him my name; after all it wasn’t like he could steal my identity or anything of the sort.   
“Junsei; Hiromi” I said adding my name after a short pause. It couldn’t hurt, I concluded. Names have very little significance nowadays anyway. I mean people of other groups do see you as a threat and would not hesitate to kill you if it meant it would keep them safe.  
“Wolf” I waited a moment expecting him to say something else, but soon enough I realized that was everything I was going to get. So he wanted to play mystery guy? Fine. I wasn’t planning on giving up finding out who he was any time soon anyway. I nodded making sure he understood I wouldn’t push for more.   
“Well,” he said standing from his spot on the desk. “That’s enough talk for today”. He left my kunai on the desk and started to leave. I was shocked a man who always seemed so cautious had made such a reckless move. I could kill him if I wanted to. I could stab him in the back.   
“I trust you not to try to kill me as I leave, Hiromi”. He said as he approached the door with a slow, lazy pace. “And try not to get yourself killed, Okay?” he finished not even facing me anymore. His hand raised in a silent farewell.   
“Wolf”. I called before he had the chance to disappear.  
He halted, but didn’t turn to look at me. I knew it was as much acknowledgement as I was going to get.  
“Thank you”. I said before he nodded and made his way out; leaving me to process what had just happened.  
The guy had threatened me, almost killed me twice, and still I couldn’t bring myself to be afraid of him.   
I moved towards the desk slowly, the need to be cautious still lingering within me. I took my knife from the desk and examined it cosely.   
‘At least he was nice enough not to leave me completely defenseless’. A voice said in my head and made me chuckle. ‘The gentleman’ I thought. ‘Yeah a very annoying, rude and kind of nice all the same, gentleman’ I chuckled once more at the thought of how much of a paradox this guy was. ‘He really needs to work on his attitude though’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any suggestions, criticisms or complaints you have please leave in the comments; I will definitively read them and correct the story should your suggestions not affect the plot.  
> Happy reading! Bruce Rosie.


	3. A Girl's Determination

Chapter 3. A girl’s determination.  
“Are you sure there’s no reason for you to do this?”  
I kept punching the bag in front of me at the pace I had set. Tora kept it in place as I didn’t spare my breath to answer.   
“I really don’t think it matters. She is going to be able to defend herself, Takuto. Stop whining” My cousin stood silent behind me. I was breathing hard.  
I had been punching, kicking, elbowing and just overall hitting the bag for the best of an hour.   
“I just don’t understand the sudden interest in hand-to-hand combat” He sighed loudly at my back “You were always the one to focus on speed and stealth. Did something happen to change that?”  
Takuto was never the sharpest knife in the draw, but he wasn’t stupid and the fact that he had noticed my change in attitude meant I was being quite obvious about it; but then again, wasn’t that what I was aiming for? We were severely outclassed and dangerously vulnerable, they needed to see that and try to become stronger, we all did. But, how do you tell these people we are child’s play to others without telling them about Wolf?  
I wiped the sweat out of my forehead with a bandaged hand. For now it would have been best if they didn’t know about Wolf and if ignorance was bliss (and in this case bliss meant life) then I would settle for the next best fib.  
“I just don’t want to be helpless out there if I ever run into trouble. I’d rather be safe than sorry” I sighed and started unwrapping my arms, I wouldn’t get any more training done that day.   
Tora had settled behind me and was now helping me stretch my arms. “Just take it easy and be careful, okay? I don’t need to worry about you anymore than I do already”   
I rolled my eyes at him. I knew it wasn’t his intention to hurt me, but for some reason the fact that my only family saw me as a burden rather than an equal or an asset, made my self esteem sink a little lower.  
The next month passed in a blur, going out on runs, training and being taught first aid by Nozomi made it fly by even faster. Runs were going smoothly and without any issues, and during that time I didn’t see Wolf either.   
Training with Tora was intense, he made me work hard on my stamina and encouraged me to go farther every time. He got me started on basic martial arts and a little bit of box, he also helped me build upper body strength to the point I could crack a rib.   
Every morning I went for a run and ran farther every time. My days started at 5 am and went by busily until I crashed on my bed late at night and fell asleep within seconds.  
Back when that month began I had decided I wanted to start medical training; our way of life deemed it essential and as a member of the runners I knew having someone with medical training on the field was a safety net we needed in case things went south. So, after my morning runs I would report back to the infirmary for tutoring.

“Okay, now you sterilize the needle and threat it. After you made sure the wound is clean you start to sew” said Nozomi as she tried to explain everything she was doing.   
“Now look carefully because this is the hardest part: each stitch is independent from one another, so you pierce” the man on the examining table hissed as my friend stabbed the edge of his wound with a needle.  
He had cut his forearm open with a loose wire while on the greenhouses.  
“Then onto the other side and tie the ends together gently because we don’t want him in any more pain than he already is” she said while tying the threat together into a tight knot and cutting off the excess. She repeated the procedure over and over, giving every stitch the attention needed.  
I stood silently to the side watching her every move. The wound was not pretty and I would have surely fainted had I not seen one before, but I had been going to the infirmary to drop off supplies for a very long time and my tutoring had been going on for over two months now, so wounds didn’t have the same effect on me.  
I was nearing the end of my internship already, since I only needed to learn how to treat wounds and not actual deceases.   
Nozomi straightened and motioned me over so I could wrap the patient’s arm with clean bandages. She took her latex gloves off and went to grab the clipboard hanging from the headboard of the table.   
“You should be able to stitch someone up on your own, you’ve seen me do it for over two months, we’ll start up tomorrow; I’ll guide you through it” she said as she wrote down a list of the supplies that had been used, the name of the patient and a description of the wound treated.  
She handed it to the man and waited for him to sign it before returning it to its place. It was a procedure they had to follow with every patient to keep tabs on the supplies used.  
“Okay Nohara-san, you can leave, but come back every day for the following week so I can check on you. And take it easy, no heavy lifting. I don’t have any painkillers to spare so try not to strain your arm” the young man thanked Nozomi and I as he made his way out the door and out of our sight.  
I started cleaning the tools and putting away the extra supplies, cleaning the blood left on the examination table were the patient had been.   
“So I’ve been training with Tora, you know, basic martial arts and stuff. Maybe if you’re not too busy you could join us. It would be fun” I said as I finished cleaning and sat on the stool by the desk.   
Nozomi turned to face me with a sad smile. She was tired, she had shadows under her eyes and the little glint that was usually in her eyes was missing.   
“I would love to, really, but I’ve been having a lot of work lately and shishou is going to start me no surgery procedures soon” she sighed and I put both my hands on her shoulders before squeezing lightly.   
“Don’t worry about it. Just go, take a nap until he gets here. You could use some sleep” she smiled at me and nodded.   
“I will. Don’t worry I know my limits and you are aware I hate being unproductive” I chuckled.   
She was one of those people who tried to fit as many activities into the day as possible and felt guilty if time was wasted just lying around. She was strong willed and determined and she would work as hard as her body allowed her to achieve her objectives.  
It wasn’t long before I realized that was the attitude I should have too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I know waiting for your faves to appear can be tedious, but thanks anyway for sticking with me up until now! I swear the story does get better with every chapter. I have a lot of things planned for the future and am even currently working on the sequel for this story.  
> Corrections, criticism and overall comments are welcome as long as you are polite about it! Thanks again for reading and see you next chapter!  
> Bruce Rosie.


	4. An Oportunity

Chapter 4. An opportunity.  
I made my way up the stairs and onto the roof. The wind was strong and ran through the rooftops howling and whining as it’s cold fingers crept up my back and made me shiver.  
I took a deep breath and closed the bomber jacket Takuto had gotten me as I stepped closer to the edge. The place was absolutely deserted, and I wondered if the strategists were stupid enough not to set a watch post on the roof.   
I crossed my arms over my chest and shivered again. The city was unusually quiet and only the wind could be heard. It was strangely calming and as I sighed I realized how much I actually needed to be alone. It had been a while since I had actually had time to myself and calm enough to be able to hear my own thoughts. While I didn’t really mind being around people, I’d come to realize that once in a while it was nice to be the only one in your mind, with nobody prying or shoving opinions under the guise of orders.   
Most times, when asking for explanations, be it mission briefings or just information about the possible dangers; our doubts would be shut down and undermined. When asking why the war had started in the first place, all we would get was rushed mumbling about how shinobi just turned on us and how after that they had completely disappeared. When we wondered where the shinobi were now, we got scolded and forbade us to speak of the matter ever again.   
And by ‘we’, I mean me.   
Today had been one of those days; I had finally decided to tell my superiors about my concerns; about the possibility of ‘Wolf’ being a ninja. He was too well trained, too stealthy, too fast. But apparently a woman could not be trusted with coming up with rational conclusions, hormones were thought to mess up our way of thinking or something of the sort.  
To say I was pissed was an understatement. The day would come when their sexist comments would come back to bite them in the ass and I’d have front row tickets to see the whole thing. It would be even more satisfactory if it was me who delivered said proof or information; so as I stood on the roof breathing some well deserved fresh air, I tried to come up with a game plan to achieve said ass biting.   
‘I could get used to this’ I thought and instantly chuckled at how sad that sounded. ‘Feeling relief because you are able to think for yourself is usually a big fat red flag’ I frowned at that. How long had I gone without noticing I was completely in the dark when it came to the compound’s activities?   
“You’re gonna get wrinkles if you keep frowning that hard” a voice I didn’t recognize snapped me out of my thoughts.  
To my right on the roof of one of the greenhouses sat a man. I froze in place and scrutinized him with hooded eyes. ‘He’s not the watch assigned by the strategists, that’s for sure’  
“You are Junsei Hiromi, right?” I didn’t answer right away and took my time examining the guy. ‘He definitively isn’t Wolf.’  
He dressed in a mixture of black, brown and dark green. The only proof that he was a threat was that he wore a flack vest over his jacket, that and the white mask that hid his face. He had the hood of his jacket covering his head so I couldn’t really see much of him. The mask had somewhat a canine shape and was decorated with orange lines that made it look like he had whiskers.   
“Who wants to know?” I said finally. I had no idea who this guy was, but I could only guess. The animal mask could only relate him to one other person. “Wolf sent me. I have a message.” And that ladies and gentleman is a shock right there, please note the sarcasm. 

I nodded in encouragement so that he would continue. “We want you to work with us”  
Okay? What the hell? Was this guy serious? I squinted my eyes at him to look for any sign of humor in his body language and found none. Well shit, he’s serious.  
I had absolutely no idea what had gotten into Wolf’s mind, I had only seen him twice and in both occasions he tried to kill me.  
This fox guy seemed to notice my unease and took the opportunity to explain further. He started scratching the back of his neck probably wondering how much he was actually allowed to tell me.  
“I guess wolf saw potential in you and wants to recruit you. To strengthen relations between civilians and shinobi, kinda like a middle man, you know?” his former hard tone had morphed into an awkward kind of mumbling and his body language turned into a less threatening one.  
“The second time you two met wasn’t a coincidence. He’s been watching you for a while now and since he hasn’t been able to find someone as promising, I guess it’s your lucky day”   
I listened to every word as I tried not to scream in joy, frustration and horror. I was right! Walf IS a shinobi. Also what the fuck Hiromi, you lead shinobi into our compound and allowed them to watch us!? Am I stupid or just plain incompetent!?   
“Your first reaction to a powerful threat was to train yourself and encourage others to do the same, without giving away what you are actually doing.” He tilted his head to the side as to examine me better and went on to sit cross-legged on the greenhouse roof.  
“It’s spotty. You can’t cover your footsteps to save your life, your knowledge in martial arts is poor and your guard stays down a lot; but you do have potential for a civilian.”   
He sighed at my lack of response and stood up. He dropped from his spot on the roof and landed next to me. I could see strands of blond hair underneath the hood of his cloak and behind his mask.   
I didn’t move an inch. I wouldn’t let him intimidate me, I didn’t want to give him the upper hand in the situation, but my body didn’t seem to be responding as I wanted it to.   
“I know nothing about you, and you admitting to stalking me isn’t what I would call convincing” Fox looked taken aback by my answer and didn’t seem to know how to answer. Take that Blondie! How do you like messing with me now?   
“There are seven of us.We went into hiding after the war to prevent further conflict.”  
Fox paused for a moment as if to consider what to tell me next. “We also deal with troublesome and violent settlements in order to keep the relative peace that has settled.”   
I already knew what he meant by that, ‘dealing with’ usually meant whipping out, destroying, annihilating, and burning down to a crisp.  
The ninja standing next to me stayed silent, waiting for my response. I pondered this information in my head. I had my doubts of course, but I was also very curious. One day my curiosity will get me killed.   
Fuck it.  
“Wolf is your superior right?” Fox straightened and nodded. “I want to meet the whole team first. Tell him to be here, I’ll only settle this with the one in charge. And for the love of everything living, don’t let anyone see you. Here, same time in two days.”  
Fox nodded and without a word set off through the rooftops and out of sight within seconds. I stared at the spot where he had stood for long after he was gone. Well there’s no backing out now. I swear I’m gonna die if I keep doing stuff like this, I am definitively NOT smart.   
I sighed and turned to the edge of the roof facing the west. The sun was setting and it was tinting the whole city in various shades of pink, orange and purple. I wondered if what I was doing was right. Taking such a risk, I mean wasn’t it a bit suspicious that shinobi had suddenly reappeared after being responsible for the fall, claiming they wanted a middle man in the negotiations to restore the Fire country?  
Don’t get me wrong it was a great opportunity to study the enemy and gather intel about them, how they worked and lived; I could also prove once and for all that my gender did not affect my ability to protect the compound. But it also was a huge risk I was taking and if things went wrong the cost would be my life.  
I sighed and closed my eyes feeling the breeze mess my hair and rattle my clothes. This is for the best, it’ll be a great leap forward for all of us if we get the upper hand in this. For once the civilian population will be a step above shinobi. 

Two days of hardcore anxiety later, I somehow managed to be placed on watch on the roof. I locked the door that lead to the stairs once the last of the greenhouse workers had made their exit. I pocketed the key and went to stand on the exact same spot fox had snuck up on me.  
To say I was a bit nervous was a huge understatement. Here I was, waiting to meet with seven shinobi who, must I add, not only outnumbered me, but also where a league ahead of me in combative skill. The more I thought of it the more I started doubting my sanity. What was I thinking! Seven ninja and only one me!   
Well, way to go Hiromi. You really outdid yourself this time.  
Suddenly I felt another presence to my right.   
They’re here.   
Seven figures stood around me. All of them wearing creepy white animal shaped masks and black cloaks that made them look like Death had come to take me with them. They were well distributed throughout the place. Two crouched on top of the nearest greenhouse looking out into the distance. On watch. I thought.  
Another black figure sat in a gargoyle like pose on the edge of the roof staring intently at me. He had a wild kind of feel to him that made me feel like I was being watched by a predator; his muscles ready to pounce at me at a moment’s notice. His mask had a canine shape, it’s eyes and mouth lined in blue and into a fierce smile. Two vertical lines run cross it’s forehead and chin. I’d hate to see that thing in the dark.  
To my left, lying against a wall was yet another figure. His stance was relaxed, his arms crossed and his body language gave off the impression he was thoroughly bored. I didn’t let this fool me, this guy was a shinobi and if he had survived the war then he was not a bad one. His mask was lined with green, a very dark green. His temples and forehead were covered in what I assumed were anthers. Honey that’s called a stag, just so know. Said a voice in the back of my mind.  
Beside the stag guy stood another figure. He was so still I could have mistaken him for a statue. His mask had a feline shape to it and black lines distributed across it in uneven patterns marked him as tiger. He was the one that gave me the most unease. He was strangely unnerving. He was so ready for anything and his demeanor so cold, he gave me chills. I’ll just keep my distance from that guy, shall I?  
Footsteps sounded behind me and I turned sharply to face the two figures approaching me. On the left stood Fox with his orange whiskers painted across his cheeks. I nodded at him in greeting and he returned the gesture. I was screwed, like really bad. I was surrounded, they could kill me at a moment’s notice and there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop them.   
The figure beside the blond raised their hand in greeting. I knew who he was, although I had never seen his mask before. It was lined in red and the fierce canine shaped thing could make anyone piss their pants in fear. The thing was awfully well painted. Wolf’s mask was the most terrible out of them all and I couldn’t help but think it must have suited the abilities of the leader.  
“Fox. Wolf.” I said trying to keep the fear off my voice. My mind was racing and it was mostly swarming with stuff along the lines of: ‘you stupid fucking little shit what were you thinking you are so dead right now.’  
Wolf made a couple of signs with his hand and in an instant I was surrounded by seven figures in a radius of two meters. Shit.  
My mind was racing so much I nearly missed when wolf spoke up.  
“Squad. This is Junsei Hiromi. She requested to meet all of you before she made her decision.” His tone was hard, cold, almost business like. This was not the man I had met, this was the leader of the Black Opps division. This man was a ninja, working for the rebuilding of civilian- shinobi relations. This was Wolf.  
“You already met Fox, so we’ll start with the others.” From left to right he named each person after their mask, which wasn’t surprising. Of course he wasn’t going to give me their real names; they were supposed to be extinct after all. He named them in order, and I only payed closer attention when he got to the two figures that had been on the roof.   
“That’s Cat.” Wolf said motioning to a man with a feline mask. It was lined with maroon and bold marks decorated it’s cheeks. He gave off the same creepy impression as Tiger did. There was something about the stillness and readiness in his body that seemed almost unnatural.  
“And last but not least, is Panther.”   
Panther was the smallest of them all. The girl stood still in her black and white mask staring intently at me. She had an overpowering presence, even if her body was much smaller than her companions’. She was the only girl in the squad, which spoke volumes despite her pink hair.   
The girl nodded in greeting and I waved back.   
I looked around me. They not only looked deadly, they felt deadly. I found myself wondering how much good a properly trained fighter would do to our compound. This is my chance; I can learn their ways and report back to the compound. They’ll think I’m trying to help rebuild relations and confide in me.   
“It’s good to meet you all.” I said with a short nod. “I will agree to your proposal, but I have one condition.” I made a pause and waited until Wolf nodded. “My compound and people are off limits.”  
Once again the leader of the squad nodded in agreement and clapped his hands once.   
“Alright, now that introductions are out of the way let’s get to the important stuff.” He said motioning Fox forward. “Fox here will be your supervisor. He will watch over your training and guide you through our way of life. Should you have any complaints, he’s your man.”   
Wait, what?  
“Training?” I said confused. This has to be a mistake, we were going to discuss ways to bring civilians and shinobi together, exchange information and tactics only. Right?  
“Yes. Training. You’ll start to work with us, get to know how we do things, and understand us to be able to do your job properly. You can’t be a middleman if you don’t understand both sides of the story.”   
Well I sure didn’t see that one coming.  
Fox took my silence as a sign of understanding and took the chance to explain further. “Training will be hard and it will be some time until you’re ready for missions, but we’ll get there. Besides I don’t tend to be an ass with my teachings and if you behave we should get along just fine” Fox’s threat was not taken lightly. Like I could ever take a threat from a shinobi lightly.   
Wolf also explained that information and orders would come from Fox and that what he said was what would be done, nothing more nothing less.  
A file was handed to me and I found myself where they had kept it until then, none of them were carrying bags.   
Fox pointed at the file. “That’s the info you’ll need for our next meeting. It won’t be at our HQ for security reasons, but that place should do. I thanked him and pressed the file tightly to my side.   
“I hope I don’t need to remind you the level of secrecy this deal requires.” Another threat. They won’t trust me right away, I should play it cool and behave until I have their trust.   
I shook my head no and smirked. I kind of liked the guy, his relaxed and mostly unthreatening aura was a nice change from the people around us.   
“Okay then, see you tomorrow at five in that location. Don’t be late and bring lunch, we’re gonna finish late. Oh, and burn the file after reading it.” After he was done Wolf made a couple of hand signs. Fox waved and turned to leave after his teammates. Within moments they were gone, the only evidence they had been there at all was the file I was holding.   
‘Tomorrow will certainly be interesting.’


	5. The First Lesson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had to post this chapter again bc for some reason AO3 cut off part of it? so here it is again after like a lifetime

Chapter 5. The first lesson.  
The location Fox had given me turned out to be an abandoned gym in the oldest part of town. There was nearly nobody roaming around that area, and the few people that did, made a point to mind their own business. The building itself looked like nobody had set foot there since the war started, which had been seven years ago.  
I made my way through the back door and scouted the area for any traps or signs that I had been followed. When I decided the place was clear, I pocketed the only kunai I had and made myself at home, throwing my bag on one of the benches and taking a seat to wait for Fox. I took a book out of my bag and threw my legs across the length of the bench.  
“I see you made yourself feel at home.” said a voice uncomfortably close to my right. My head snapped to the side so fast I almost got whiplash. How the actual fuck did he sneak up on me like that. Right there standing with his hands on his pockets was Fox. Next to him a bit further back, was Panther. I made a mental note to ask her if her hair color was naturally pink; because right then it didn’t seem like a good time to ask. Actually I didn’t think there would be a right time, she looked like she could demolish me with only her pinkie, so I decided I’d rather stay on the safe side.  
I shoved the book to the side and stood to greet them.  
“You dressed up for the occasion, It’s good you’re taking this seriously, we’ll be working very hard.” Said the masked guy as I eyed up my running shorts and sleeveless tee. If wearing the right clothes was all it took to get on his good side this would be easier than I had previously thought.  
He nodded approvingly and I was relieved for a short second. I fought the pleased grin that was trying to make its way to my face. Even if he had done nothing yet, he was still a shinobi, and getting killed for being a smug little shit would be pretty inconvenient.  
“Okay so we’ll be separating our training in two parts: In the mornings we’ll do chakra control exercises and after lunch we’ll do physical training, katas and stuff.”  
Umm what?  
Fox continued to ramble about chakra level and control and other stuff I didn’t quite understand. To be completely honest he should have guessed I had absolutely no Idea what he was talking about. I mean I was a civilian, wasn’t it normal for civilians not to know this stuff?His speech went on for another five minutes until Panther interrupted him.  
“Fox, I don’t think she knows what you’re talking about. Do you even know if she has any idea of the basics?” she asked a little impatiently.  
Fox seemed to realize his mistake of assuming I knew all of that already and rubbed the back of his neck as he turned to me once again.  
“Um, Hiromi do you know what I’m talking about.” He asked slowly.  
I shook my head no and smiled a bit. “No fucking idea.”  
Fox’s shoulders slumped in defeat and he sighed deeply. Sorry pal I’m no shinobi.  
“That’s unusual, generally people know at the very least what chakra is and how it works; the fact that you don’t even know you have a chakra system is-“  
“That’s fine, I’m just glad I came along then, I have the best chakra control out of our whole division, she’ll I’ll be your guide through it for the time being. Fox will do physical training.” Interrupted Panther once again. She nodded at her teammate and then turned to me once again.  
“Fox will leave now, after all he’s of no use to us tight now, he’ll be back after lunch to take up his part, but as off right now I guess I’m your new shishou.” Said the pink haired girl with what I guessed was a smile on her face.  
Fox had already disappeared from the gym and I was left alone with the sole woman on the group. To be completely honest, she was fucking terrifying. Small and frail looking as she was, she still was a shinobi; in fact she was the only female I’d seen.  
“So I don’t suppose you are aware of what chakra is?” I shook my head no and felt a little bit embarrassed. This thing was supposed to be the basic things in shinobi training and civilians had absolutely no idea what it entailed.  
Or was someone keeping the information to themselves?  
It had always intrigued me how little civilian people knew about shinobi. Their abilities, the lever of their skill, their way of life and their relationships with each other and civilians. How did they see civilians? Were we just little incompetent people to them or were we part of the fire nation just as them? If I thought of it the civilian population was terribly afraid of ninja but as to the reason for it, I had never been told.  
“That’s alright. I’ll just start from the very beginning then: Chakra is what you get of combining both your spiritual and physical energy. You collect equal amounts of both of them and combine them to create chakra. This enables you to do all sorts of things, from erecting walls of earth to healing people. It runs through a system of coils; very much like your circulatory system or your nervous system. This system has thousands of points on the surface of your skin from where chakra is channeled out of your body and used to perform jutsu. Depending on the amount of chakra you use and how you use it you can acquire different abilities.” Panther paused for a moment to see if I was following so far.  
I nodded for her to continue and she jumped right in.  
“The first thing we’ll do today is get you started on chakra exercises. This first part is quite boring and it has a lot to do with concentration so it won’t be easy since you’ve never done it before.”  
Panther sat crossed legged on the floor and I followed suit. The woman in front of me put her hands together in a sign I’d never seen before. Her pointer and middle finger were up in both her hands while the ring and pinkie were curled into the palms and the thumbs intertwined themselves. I had never seen that sign and the fact that panther had closed her eyes behind the mask made me a little uneasy of what was about to happen.  
Suddenly the pressure in the air changed, an overwhelming presence had disrupted the peace in the gym and now it’s awful weigh was threatening to choke me. The horrible feeling was increasing and so was the fear welling inside of me. Where did this come from? What is this shit?  
As suddenly as it appeared, the pressure in the room vanished and Panther and I sat in complete silence. She hadn’t reacted to the immense presence that had threatened to crush us a few seconds ago.  
“Panther what the hell was that?” I wanted my voice to sound firm and demanding but all that came out of my mouth was a pathetic whisper. I saw the glint of light behind the eye hole of Panther’s mask, meaning she had opened her eyes again. She untangled her hands and set them on each of her knees.  
“That was my chakra.”  
Air caught in my throat. How could she do that? How could a tiny girl like her be able to do that? She wasn’t much shorter than me, and all the men in her squad had at least a head over us in height. How could such a frail looking person like her have such power?  
“I concentrated on increasing the amount of chakra leaking off my body so you would be able to feel it.”  
Oh I felt it alright.  
“Chakra isn’t something you can see, I just wanted you to be acquainted with the feeling of somebody else’s chakra.”  
I couldn’t bring myself to answer, the weight of her chakra still lingered in the air a while after she had dropped and I wasn’t sure if I’d been drugged, put under a spell or was going completely, out right insane.  
“Hiromi, you’re awfully quiet. I didn’t leak that much chakra so I wouldn’t overwhelm you, but I didn’t think even that’d be too much.”  
Was that a little chakra? I’m definitively going to die now.  
I gave myself a mental slap. Snap out of it moron! You’re supposed to be learning not freezing like a fucking deer in the headlights.  
“I’m sorry Panther-shishou, it’s just I’ve never felt someone else’s chakra before, it was quite a shock.” I heard a muffled chuckle come from behind Panther’s mask and had to admit it must have been pretty funny to someone with shishou’s experience.  
“That’s quite alright. We could switch to a more Theoretical kind of lesson while you recover from that, shall we?” said panther understandingly.  
The pink haired girl was very nice and quite pleasant, but I’d be damned if I made her angry. That’s the one thing you wouldn’t come back from I assure you. Said a weary voice in my head.  
I nodded once to let her know that would be very much appreciated and sat a little straighter. Panther clapped her hands once and shifted a little to get more comfortable.  
“So Hiromi, do you know why the civil war broke out seven years ago?” This subject might have been a little delicate if I had had a formed opinion on the subject, but since I was completely ignorant of the issue, it picked my curiosity instead.  
I shook my head no lightly and gave what little information I could provide.  
“Not really. There were rumors in the compound about it but nothing from a reliable source. No one ever told us, I’m not even sure if anybody knew what happened.”  
Panther nodded and shifted her weigh so that she could seat more comfortably.  
“Well it’s a long story so better get started: The base where all shinobi reside is called a Hidden Village, each country has its own. The Village for the Fire Country was called The Village Hidden in the Leaves. The leader of the village is called the Hokage (which means fire shadow), and regular shinobi forces are divided in four groups depending on their level of experience: the beginners are called Genin, the advanced are called Chunin, next up are the special-Jonin and finally the specialists: the Jonin. Apart from the regular forces there is the Black Opps division called AMBU which is also subdivided in field specializations like assassination, infiltration and so on.  
Each shinobi started training in the Academy at age six and when they graduated as Genin, generally at age twelve, they were put in three man cells under the supervision of a Jonin-sensei. This sensei has the authority to fail their team should they not meet the requirements to advance in the shinobi hierarchy. Fox, Hound, Stag and I were on the same graduation class, and Fox and I were put (along with another Genin) under the care of wolf-taicho.  
After a year of D-rank and C-rank missions, the war was declared (so more or less around the time we were thirteen or fourteen). The Daymo of Fire country had been long accumulating a great debt and it had started to show on the economy of the civilian population. This didn’t affect the Hidden Village because it runs independently from the rest of the country, receiving its earnings from mission requests that, depending on the rank, can be quite expensive. Hidden villages only pay taxes to the government once a year, so our economy continued, for the most part undisturbed.  
The difference in life standards soon started to show and people outside the village started to resent shinobi. Animosity grew for a couple of months before the Daymo made an official announcement declaring the Hokage and Her government were to blame for the Fire country’s economical situation.  
Of course the Hokage had been notified long before about the Daymo’s debts and had been preparing for the unavoidable conflict. Shinobi were ordered to fight in the conflict for two years and then stage a disappearance. And so after time had run out, all ninja belonging to the Hidden Leaf Deserted the place and went into hiding. Agents were sent to other countries’ villages to notify the situation to our allies, but what we didn’t foresee was the same issue arousing there when their respective Daymos refused to help Konoha. Within months all five elemental countries found themselves with a civil war in their hands.  
All five Kages went into hiding, followed by their subordinates, and have been in the dark for five years now. And now, we received orders to pick a possible middleman within the civilian population, get them through shinobi training and with their help reestablish civilian-shinobi relations. 

Panther sighed and shook her head. Her whole body language screamed frustration ad defeat. She appeared to have gone through the whole thing, but if she was my age then she would have been thirteen when war broke out, she couldn’t have fought in the war at such young age. Could she?  
“Did you fight in the war, Panther-san?” my voice was barely a whisper and I could hear a light tremble in it as I spoke, but I didn’t really care.  
“Yeah, I was only a kid. My best friend died in the first assault against Konoha.”  
Panther raised her head to look at me through the holes in her mask. Her voice was steady, not an ounce of emotion in it, and it made me wonder. What has this girl, this people gone through? And all because of what? The selfish impulses of one man. One person had been able to destroy the balance throughout five countries.  
And why had none of the people in the compound known about this?  
Were they lying?  
Suddenly I felt an urge to do something, to help, to make things right. This couldn’t end up like this. People had died both civilian and shinobi for the mistakes of one man. I was being offered the choice of helping rebuild our world, bring back balance and peace. This was something bigger than myself, bigger than compounds and waaay bigger than the gap between shinobi and civilians. This was the greater good, and the first step towards it was being made by shinobi. The people I was raised to distrust.  
“Please be patient with me Panther-san. I will do my best; I will become your middleman.”  
We spent the rest of our morning working on basic chakra exercises to try and get a hold of the feeling. Strangely enough my body seemed to know the procedure already and within a couple of hours, I could feel the amount of energy gathering in my abdomen. Panther even asked me if I had ever tried this before, but all the answer I could provide was a sharp shake of the head.  
One of the first things Panther had me do was try and stick a leaf to my forehead concentrating my chakra on that same spot. The thing was not managing to stick the leaf to my forehead, no. The hard part came with trying to hold it there. Chakra flow wasn’t something I was used to, building it up? Sure. But trying to make the sufficient amount go to the parts of your body you wanted it to go was a whole lot of work if you were as inexperienced as me.  
After four hours of chakra building and control, we switched to theory. How handseals worked, the technical explanations for both ninjutsu and genjutsu, and so on and so forth. Turns out that to make jutsu (which they all just seemed like magic to me) you had to use seals in order to direct and shape your chakra correctly. The whole thing was fascinating and, surprisingly quite exhausting.  
After lunch, which must I add had never tasted better; Fox took over for the physical part of training. He got me started on stamina and muscle building (I was proud they saw I had the stamina part down already), and after the most intense warm up session of my life; Fox got me started on basic taijutsu katas.  
Learning each kata and repeating it at least forty times until Fox had nothing left to correct about my stance was probably the most frustrating thing. For some reason my stance was awfully bad and the fact that Tora’s training had been worth a damn made me feel quite stupid. ‘You’re not backing down now you hear me?’ I scolded myself. This was not a matter up to debate, I just had to help rebuild the Fire Country, It was part of my responsibility as a member of our nation. ‘You’ll train until you collapse if you need to.’ And with the most resolution I’d had in my life, I straightened up and started my next set of katas.


	6. Allegiances

Chapter 6. Allegiances.  
Every day for the following months, I would wake up at four thirty and head out of the compound towards the gym. Mornings, from five to eleven thirty would be spent with Panther, doing chakra exercises and increasing steadily the amount I could produce. Slowly, I was able to hold the leaf to my forehead for longer periods of time; and soon enough I could hold the act throughout the morning while doing other exercises at the same time.   
At around twelve thirty Fox would make his appearance. He was especially thorough with katas, but after a while he had run out of errors to correct in my stance. It was then that we got started with sparring. We would exchange blows for as long as I could go and then we would try and incorporate katas from other taijutsu styles.   
Even if my stamina was decent, my martial arts skills still lacked the fluidity that came with experience, so when it came down to sparring sessions; Fox would beat me to the ground and hand me my ass every time, even if he was holding back.   
My body started slowly gaining strength with the passing of time, and even if I still sucked mostly at everything I could feel the slow but steady improvement in my reflexes and speed. I found myself enjoying these sessions more every time, even if at the end of the day I ended with mild chakra exhaustion and one or two cracked ribs.  
Panther, I realized was a natural teacher. She was patient but very strict and demanding. She didn’t mind explaining things twice and was exceedingly encouraging when it came to chakra training. She sported a pleased eye crease (from what I could see of her eyes behind the mask) every time I came to her with a doubt or asking for further exercises to practice at home; hence why I started making a habit of meditating before going to sleep.   
Fox on the other hand, was more of a learn-as-you-go, hands-on, straight-to-the-point kind of teacher. His outgoing and relaxed personality and his rough teaching methods made a great combination and kept training interesting and unpredictable every time. He would make me go all out on him and after he’d beat me to a pulp, he’d suggest some move or another and make me try and land a blow on him with it. Every time I would feel like I had nothing left to give he would push me forward and encourage me in one way or another.  
The very first praise I received from them was heart-warming on their own way. I had managed to walk up the wall all the way up to the ceiling while keeping the leaf on my forehead. I made it all the way down safely without falling or wobbling when Panther spoke.   
“Your control is getting significantly better, Hiromi.”  
I thanked her with a wide smile on my face as a warm feeling of pride spread through my chest. Walking up walls was hard; keeping the chakra flowing constantly and in the right amount through the soles of your feet was definitively something I’d never thought I’d be able to do. And let’s not get started on gravity. Gravity is a bitch.  
Fox was less formal about it, though. We had been sparring for a while and he wasn’t holding back as much as he used to. The hours we’d devoted to training were starting to show, and we could clearly see that when I managed to land a kick to his side.   
“Holy shit Hiromi, I think you cracked a rib.” He said from his spot in the ground as he poked the sore spot.  
I felt guilt creep up on me as Panther kneeled beside her teammate to examine his side and confirm that; the rib was in fact cracked. My shishou’s hands started glowing green as she started to fix the damage done to the bone.   
“Hey, don’t make that face” Fox said with what sounded like a smile in his voice. It was hard to tell because of the mask. “This just means I won’t have to hold back on you anymore. You’d kick my ass if I did.”   
Both he and Panther chuckled and after a few more minutes the pink haired kunoichi straightened up.  
“I guess I’ll have to stay for afternoon training from now on. You know, to make sure you don’t kill each other.” I let out a quiet laugh as the other two started to get ready to leave.   
It was moments like that one that made me feel like, if things went on the way they had up until then; then I could in a not very distant future consider those two my friends.  
My good mood did not last long, however. The second I stepped through the wooden doors to the compound I was bombarded with complaints and whining. Let’s just say I’m not fond of people complaining, not for ‘lack of attention towards them’ at least.   
I didn’t need this, it had been a long day: Fox had dislocated my shoulder (he wasn’t kidding when he said he wasn’t holding back anymore), and Panther had made me walk the walls until I almost collapsed with chakra exhaustion. I paid the whining group no mind and headed straight to my room. I was only disturbed after a while when Tora came to tell me we had a mandatory run in two days. ‘Great, I can tell Fox I’ll skip training that day.’   
For some reason I couldn’t bring myself to care what people at the compound thought of my behavior, it was for a greater good after all. I was doing something good, I was going to help rebuild the Fire Country, it was worth the sacrifice; and if they were truly my friends they would understand. 

I ducked behind a collapsed wall and took another kunai from the holder in my leg. ‘Fucking asshole, I’m gonna murder him’ I thought as another barrage of shuriken flew by my head only missing for a few centimeters. I turned and threw some myself at my attacker across the road. His body fell limp and with a thump hit the ground, lying motionless as a streak of blood made its way down his throat. ‘Useless fucking twat. What the hell was he thinking being that loud?’ my mind kept racing and my anger only made me curse further. ‘If we both get out of this alive I’ll break his legs’   
Suddenly two shuriken appeared in my line of vision and seemed to move in slow motion as they made contact with each other and their trajectory changed, aimed directly towards me. My body moved before I realized what I was doing and threw itself to the side, just in time to avoid getting my throat sliced but not fast enough so I wouldn’t get hit. ‘Scratch that. I’ll snap his neck.’  
Red started pouring out of the gash in my left bicep and slipped through my fingers as I applied pressure to it to try and avoid bleeding out.   
To my right two houses away, about fifty meters away my teammates crouched behind another wall. I ripped my left sleeve and tied it around my wound as tight as I could manage one-handed. I had to catch up to them, there was no way I could get out of there on my own and my chances stood even lower when one of my arms was temporarily out of order. I ran through the open field separating me from them and managed to avoid all the projectiles thrown at me by a hair’s length. I threw myself behind the wall and landed noisily next to Mizuki. Before any of us had the chance to say anything I felt a sharp stab of pain go through my ribs. I looked down o see I hadn’t made it out of the clearing unharmed, one of the enemy kunai had managed to tear through my clothes, skin and muscle, and into my ribcage.   
‘I’m hit’ I announced as I looked down only to find my shirt already turning red. I was losing blood fast and if I didn’t want to hold the others back I had to get out of there before blood loss started to affect me.  
‘If you can get me to where the others are, maybe Tora can patch me up real quick and we can get out of here’ Mizuki’s face was pale, like he’d never seen a wound before.  
An explosion sounded not too far off and his body jerked with surprise and fear. It was written all over him, he’d never been on a run that had gone this bad before, he was clueless. His eyes found mine and then went to the gaping wound in my side.   
‘You’re bleeding out. You’ll slow us down.’ I looked at him with disbelief.   
No, he wouldn’t do it.   
‘You wouldn’t make it anyway. Sorry.’   
With that he turned around and ran to where the others were waiting. He exchanged a few words with Tora and Takuto, who both seemed absolutely mortified (and even argued back a bit) before they all turned their backs to me and hightailed out of there.  
He did do it! That treacherous little shit!   
That betrayal I felt was enough to fuel me to fight until the end. There was no way I was going to die there when I had some serious ass kicking to do at the compound, the pity party could wait. I managed to count five enemies, I knew where three of them where and the other two couldn't be that far.  
'Aren't my odds lovely?' I muttered through gritted teeth.   
Then, it felt like time had stopped. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath.   
'I'm not going to be just another corpse, and if I do fall here then these five are going with me.'   
I opened my eyes and made to stand, but just as I was about to go over the wall a hand settled on my shoulder and held me in place. I turned around to see a figure clad in black crouched beside me, feline mask staring back at me.  
Reinforcements arrived.   
Panther, Hound, Tiger and Cat were a sight for sore eyes and I instantly felt myself relaxing my stance. Or is blood loss the reason I'm feeling lightheaded.  
"Panther, treat Hiromi. Tiger cover them. Hound you and I will engage the enemy." Their dark figures moved in a blur and within a second I was left with Panther and Tiger as my only company.   
My shishou started to work immediately; her level of concentration was astounding and radiated at the same time an incredible amount of killing intent. I decided not to disturb her and talk to Tiger instead.  
“How did you find me?” My side hurt whenever I took deep breaths and talking wasn’t helping much with the pain.   
“We heard the bombs going off and decided to take a look when we saw our little student was lying in a pool of her own blood, about to go and fight five enemies alone.” Said Tiger with what I assumed was a reprimanding tone. Or was he making fun of me? “About that, did you try to play hero and told your comrades to leave you behind? I thought you were smarter than your teacher.”  
I glared at Tiger and tried to suppress the anger in my voice but failing miserably in doing so.  
“No.” Panther stopped what she was doing to look up at me.   
“They left you behind?” I could tell there was annoyance and a bit of surprise in her voice, like she had expected bad things from civilians, but not something as drastic as deserting a comrade. I didn’t answer as I tried to concentrate in not fainting from blood loss.   
“We need to ask Cat for clearance to bring her back, I don’t think Wolf-taicho would be too pleased if we brought her to HQ and I wouldn’t either.” Said Tiger and I could feel Panther’s uneasiness too.  
It was expected, I had only been training with them for over a year, and they had been shinobi long enough not to give away their trust to anyone; that was one of the reasons they were still alive and unnoticed by civilian population.   
“That’s okay. I can spend the night in the gym until I can go back and snap Mizuki’s neck.” Panther chuckled and got to work again while Tiger mumbled something along the lines of ‘That should work’.   
Panther had managed to stop the bleeding on both my arm and my side, closing with her own chakra the wounds and assisting the healing process as best as she could. Once the wounds were both bandaged, she gave me a blood pill to help regain the amount I had lost. A few minutes later Cat and Hound were back looking as fresh as they had arrived. Guess the attackers weren’t much of a challenge. Tiger explained the situation and Cat seemed to agree that the gym was the best option, explaining he didn’t particularly trust me that much yet.   
The journey back to the gym was quite an awkward piggyback delivered by Hound. Thank Kami, Hound was quite a fun guy and really easy to talk to when you’re not feeling your best. He joked (I think) about how lame it was to have to be carried back like this and how uncomfortable it was. Apparently he had ended in a similar state when he received a cut to one of his main arteries and almost bled to death. Conversation flowed easily, he complained a lot about how heavy I was and how he couldn’t wait for me to be able to travel on my own because he ‘ain’t doing it again’.  
Somewhere along the way, Tiger had gone ahead and reported the situation, so when we arrived Fox-sensei and Wolf-taicho were both waiting for us. Fox looked as tense as I had ever seen him, and Taicho just looked his relaxed self with his hands on his pockets. Once Hound put me down, my sensei came straight to me and offered a hand to support me in my weakened state, and I took it gladly. Let me tell you, chest wounds hurt.  
“Are you okay? Has any wound reopened?” Asked my teacher in a stern tone he had never used before. Fox was visibly annoyed that I’d been hurt; I guess that was his job as my sensei.  
“Thanks to Panther-shishou, only my pride is hurt.” I said with a smile, trying to show the guy it was not that serious. But he instantly noticed the bitter edge to my voice and his frown deepened. “I guess Tiger told you what happened already?” Fox nodded and scanned my body head to toe for any sign of other injuries Panther might have missed. As if that girl would miss something, she’s too good a medic for that.  
“Thank you by the way Panther-shishou, I didn’t get to say it before, but I really appreciate what you did.” The kunoichi waved off my comment, saying it was only her job and that she was pleased to have been helpful.   
Wolf asked if I had a plan.   
“I intend to stay the night here, head out tomorrow kick some ass back at the compound and probably go find myself somewhere to live. I’m not staying where my life as it appears, is worth nothing.” Wolf nodded and with a sigh took off his AMBU mask and hood. I had already seen the black fabric covering half his face but I had never seen his hair. The mop atop Taicho’s head was unruly and defied gravity in every way possible, apart from the fact that it was a very noticeable shade of silver. His left eye was covered by a hitai-ate, a shinobi forehead protector with a metal plaque engraved with his village’s symbol. Taicho’s headband sported none other than the symbol of the Village hidden in the Leaves; Konohagakure.   
The rest of the squad followed their leader’s example and took off their masks. I looked around amazed it was weird to see a person’s face for the first time after being used to associating voices to masks instead of human features. Each and every one of them were absolutely different from one another but their eyes held the same experienced and heavy look as evidence of the things shinobi life had put them through.   
Hound, who was closest to me, was a handsome guy in a wild kind of way. He looked fierce with brown disheveled hair and eyes of the same shade with slits for pupils and the scariest grin I’d ever seen. His canines were longer than average, which gave him the appearance of a werewolf in a flattering kind of way. His cheeks were marked by bright red marks in the shape of fangs which from Panther’s history lessons could only mean one thing. Hound was an Inuzuka. Inuzuka Kiba, as he introduced himself.   
The Inuzuka clan was one of Konoha’s clans, they had deep relations with ninja dogs and formed bonds with them that could rival those of other human beings. They were given their partners at the tender age of five and trained together from day one. Part of the Inuzuka’s inventory of abilities was tracking. Their canine partners as well as they had a very acute sense of smell and hearing, making them the best assets on tracking missions. Judging from the fact that Kiba was on his own, his partner was either unfit to be put on duty, or dead.  
Hound sported the same Hitai-ate as Taicho tied to his forehead.   
Cat was a pale man, with quite a built physique compared to that of the rest of the group. He had a faceplate that covered his forehead and came down the sides of his face, hiding his ears from view, and the same leaf emblem sat on the metal surface covering his forehead. His expression was severe, but his demeanor was not threatening, and I knew from experience that he was quite a nice guy, as well as a very able shinobi. He was older than me, maybe a good four or five years older, but he was still a good looking guy. “I answer both to Yamato or Tenzo, whichever you like best.”  
Fox, I was pleased to find, had a face every bit as bright as his personality. His smile was huge and radiated a comforting sense of warmth, the kind the sun would give off. His bright blond hair stuck in different directions without any rule or reason, completely untamed only bound by the hitai-ate firmly tied to his forehead.  
“My name is Uzumaki Naruto, Kouhai. Nice to finally meet you.” Said my sensei. His eyes were a very clear shade of blue and across his cheeks he had marks that made him look like he had whiskers of some sort.   
Next was Tiger. He was a very pale guy, the kind of pale that makes you wonder if he’s ever set foot under the sun before. His eyes and hair were the same shade of jet black and his expression was as blank as that of someone who’s trying not to let everyone see just much of a bad time he’s having. “My name is Sai.” If I thought of it better, the expression he wore resembled his cold calculating attitude when on mission or while training. So it’s been trained into him not to show emotions, huh? Interesting.  
Last on the list was Panther. She was drop dead gorgeous. Her short pink haired framed her delicate bone structure and pronounced jaw line. She had bright emerald eyes that could make anyone swoon or even run with your tail between your legs should she give you a threatening glare. Her headband sat atop her head and on her forehead there was a lilac diamond shaped mark.   
“The name is Haruno Sakura, nice to meet you Hiromi.”She was smiling gently at me.   
We heard movement somewhere behind us and from the shadows emerged none other than Stag.   
“Took you long enough!” teased Fox with a wide grin. “Come join the introductions” the newly arrived shinobi sighed and took off his mask.  
His complexion was slightly darker than everyone else’s, his hair and eyes black just as Tiger, but his hair was pulled up in a spiky ponytail instead emphasizing his sharp collarbone and slim face. Stag’s hitai-ate was sewed on the outside of his left sleeve, just where the bicep is supposed to be. “I’m Nara Shikamaru.” Said stag shortly, as he put his hands on his pockets.  
“It’s an honor to finally meet you all, I am glad I will be able to work alongside you. I’ll do my best to keep up to your standards.” I said with a polite bow. I was determined to make this work. I would betray those who had raised me and watched me grow to join the other side. I would break my family’s heart, just to be able to restore the elemental nations and rebuild relations between shinobi and civilians, to finally be able to find peace. I won’t let you down. I promised in my head. Your faith won’t be wasted on me.


	7. Impending

Chapter 7. Impending.  
All eyes were on me as I made my way through the door to the mess hall. Chatter died down and whispers arose from every corner of the room. All I saw before I got the air knocked out of me was a flash of brunette hair that I later recognized as Nozomi. She tackled me into a hug sobbing desperately as she clung to my shirt. Tora made his way to where we were and embraced me too, mumbling apologies endlessly. Takuto came too and hugged me awkwardly apologizing too for leaving me behind the previous day. At last, Mizuki walked hesitantly to where we were. I disentangled from my friends’ arms so I could face him. My expression felt hard as stone, and I knew the only way to describe how I was looking at him was ‘murderous glare’.  
“Hiromi, I’m so-“he stopped mid apology as my fist connected with his jaw.   
The force of the impact caught him off guard and made him fall to the ground on his backside. He landed with an ‘oomph’ as the air left his lungs.   
“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry Mizuki.” I said coldly and I noticed the mess hall was in complete silence, every pair of eyes either on me or on the man on the floor. “If you come anywhere near me again I will kill you.”   
There was no yelling, no furious screaming or bitter tone in my voice. It was a statement, a fact. It would happen, if Mizuki got near me he would die.  
I left the mess hall followed by Nozomi, my strides kept me way ahead of her, but she still followed. I opened the door to my apartment and closed it as soon as my friend had gone in.   
“Hiromi, would you mind telling me what happened exactly?” said the girl beside me as I slumped on the couch like a corpse.  
I sighed and decided it couldn’t hurt to tell her a half truth.   
“I was injured and he left me behind because he thought I would slow them down and get them killed.” Nozomi paled. She wasn’t one to hate people, but she, just like me, absolutely despised backstabbers and cowards.   
“Well then I’m not fixing his jaw for him. Serves him right.” My friend was one of the sweetest people ever, but crossing her never meant anything good.   
Nozomi spaced out for a couple of minutes and all of a sudden came back to earth, shattering the silence with: “Let me see your wound. I have to treat it.”  
That comment hit me like a ton of bricks. There was almost no wound left to heal after Sakura had worked her iryo-ninjutsu, all that was left was a raw scar.   
“I- uh, I patched it up already, it wasn’t that bad, you know? It was actually quite shallow…” I stammered through my teeth.  
I couldn’t let Nozomi see the scar; she would know something was up. The concerned girl sat across me tried for my shirt once more, arguing of how badly done stitches could cause an infection, but somehow I managed to convince her I was completely fine and in no urgent need of a medic.

 

And so, for the following two months, I split my priorities into two. The first and to an extent more important than the second: my shinobi training, building up teamwork, continue chakra control exercises, refining my taijutsu and getting started on ninjutsu. According to Naruto-sensei my ninjutsu and genjutsu level was that of an academy student, when my taijutsu was improving rapidly and got closer to beating him with every spar. Sakura realized this too, and with my decent chakra control agreed to teach me what sensei called ‘Sakura-Chan’s monstrous strength’.   
The second priority I had was to successfully gather information on the civilian ranks. Their training regime, foreign policies; anything concerning movement among civilian population. I also had to keep an ear out in case shinobi were mentioned. I made my training escapes less noticeable and timed them, right so that I wouldn’t raise suspicion. I wanted to stay under the radar as long as I could.   
I was walking around the compound doing my patrol rounds when Takuto found me. Apparently, high-rank operatives had a meeting to attend to today. It made me uneasy since I was supposed to be out and on my way to training in the next ten minutes. But the sudden call for all high ranks was something I didn’t want to miss, after all any kind of information I could get my hands on would be useful. We walked into the main office after knocking and stood to the side to wait on our superiors. It was a relief that I had been invited to the meeting, I’d been working hard to please the strategists in order to be able to get my hands on classified information.   
Every face that came through the door looked more somber than the last, and by the time we were all there, dread had settled into my system.  
“I know you all have duties to attend to, so I’ll make this quick. We are in danger” started one of our elders, whom I’d never had the chance of meeting.  
The scars all over his arms and face suggested he’d seen war before, and combined with his somber expression, the elder looked like he might kill anything that came near him without a proper warning.  
“The Fire Country’s former military forces, the shinobi, have once again made an appearance. Even if we thought them gone for good, seems like the treacherous ninja of the Leaf are still around.” The man looked around the room to every face. I tried not to look too guilty as his eyes scanned my face and moved on to the next.   
“I am sure most of you know how shinobi of Konohagakure no Sato rebelled against the Daimyo and attempted a coup d’ etat throwing the entire country into civil war.”  
The crowd gathered in the room nodded in silence. It seemed like they’d been fed with lies a long time ago. The younger ones: Takuto, me and a few others; had never been told the whole ‘truth’ so most of their expressions turned into surprise or plain anger. This isn’t good.  
“So in the face of such threat, we are from now on and until shinobi cease to exist, at war.”   
Nobody spoke, but the tension in the room rose noticeably. Everyone was struggling to process the information, the word ‘war’ made everything more real, more grave.   
“Runners will be out more than ever, we need to stock up on supplies. Guard and watch shifts will be arranged and increased. Training for soldiers and medics will start the day after tomorrow; I want everyone on their maximum level of alert. They will not come back from this, not under my watch.”  
The man that had been speaking (I’d never bothered learning his name) went still as he let the information sink in. after a couple of minutes, somebody to my right asked: “Are we certain they are back?” Whispers of agreement rose slowly. The man that had been leading the meeting pointed to a place in the map placed on the table we were all standing around.   
The spokesman’s somber expression remained unchanged as he nodded gravely.  
“A squad of runners from a compound across the city was cut down almost entirely by shinobi. The only survivor is still bedridden and will be for the rest of his life.” Silence claimed the room once again as the man continued.  
“The squad was made up of twelve fully trained individuals. The witness said the only weapon he ever saw was kunai, they didn’t even use ninjutsu and they whipped them out anyway. A team of three shinobi, according to the witness. They wore masks, but could be identified as shinobi because one of them was wearing a Konohagakure no Sato hitai-ate.”   
My shoulders stiffened a bit, but I tried my best not to show just how troubled I was, even if it was for a different reason than the rest of them. This was not good; at all. Taicho had intended to keep the fact that shinobi were still around hidden, this changed things, a lot. All the hard work everybody had devoted to try and slowly ease their way back to the world would be completely destroyed. Civilians were not planning on taking a peaceful approach, they were preparing for war straight away; which gave away how little they cared for actually try and fix things.   
“We are at war with shinobi; we will use the old bingo books as references. Those who are in the books are to be brought in for interrogation, the rest you get rid of. New schedules will be handed tomorrow. You are dismissed.” People started slowly piling out of the room while Takuto and I engaged on tense, short dialogue.  
I excused myself and ran up to my room, taking the duffle bag by the door and hurrying down the stairs once again. Thankfully nobody stopped me on my way out (they probably thought I was going on a run to calm my nerves), and once I was out the main gate I started to run as fast as my chakra enhanced feet would let me. Our compound would join forces with other civilian groups to hunt down shinobi. I have to relay this. I held the strap of my bag closer to my shoulder as I climbed up the wall of a building to travel through the rooftops. They won’t like this. Not one bit. 

 

“It was a careless move; they were near HQ and had already spotted us. They were charging before we had time to think carefully for a better approach.” Said Naruto beside me. His arms were crossed and his face solemn. “What I didn’t expect was a witness. I didn’t feel his chakra; he must have been seriously wounded.” My sensei turned towards me once again encouraging me to explain.   
“Well he is bedridden for life, after that so I guess it was pretty rough.” The blond ran a hand through his hair with a sigh, shaking his head in the process. “Anyway, they plan on using the old bingo books as a reference, those who have an entry there will be targeted as high-rank and have a capture order on your heads; the rest of us will be killed on sight. They want higher ups to interrogate, which if you ask me is very stupid for a civilian to try and pull off.”   
Four shinobi stood around me; Kiba, Sai and Yamato-taicho were out on patrol, so the rest of them were listening in on my report. Everybody’s face looked somber, but tension had still yet to make an appearance.  
“They haven’t figured out major strategies yet, but they increased patrols and training hours for both soldiers and medics. They also ordered us runners to keep an eye out for any extra supplies that might come in handy.” I pointed five different spots on the map that had been laid on the table before us.   
“Those are the places we’ll be raiding in the next few days; you can get there before and clear them if you need the supplies. I guess that’s all I have for now. That and I am dead certain they are planning a witch hunt. Negotiation is not an option.”   
Shikamaru eyed me up suspiciously, his expression giving nothing away except for the fact that he was a bit skeptical.  
“Forgive me for being so straightforward, but I find it a bit unusual that you’re not taking their side considering the situation we’re in. After all reporting to us and actually going to war against your family are two different things entirely.” He made a pause to make his point clear. The air shifted in the room. Like they had considered the thought before but nobody had actually meant to voice it. “Are you willing to do that?”   
Driving me to such a tight corner hadn’t been nice of him, but I did understand where he was coming from. After all they were shinobi, their job consisted of looking ‘underneath the underneath’; and his accusation wasn’t far off the bull’s eye. I had my doubts; I had been thinking about it the whole trip to the gym before relying the information and wasn’t happy at all with the situation at hand. But even before I could think of backing out of shinobi training I had a passing moment of enlightenment.  
I have no family left. I mean yeah, Takuto was my cousin, but my next of kin were all gone. I never knew my mom or my dad and for some reason my aunt and uncle never seemed to want to talk about them. I did have friends back at the compound too, Nozomi was more of a sister than a friend; but still I couldn’t bring myself to fight for the side that had been responsible for the fall and had fed us all lies for years. Not to mention they had showed an incredible lack of regard for their comrades’ lives.   
“Yes, I am. As much as it pains me to leave a few behind, I don’t think I could stand by and watch the world get torn to pieces again. Shinobi/civilian relations need to be reestablished, and that can’t happen if every civilian keeps blindly following their superiors.”   
Shikamaru wore an odd expression as he nodded and turned to look at taicho. They had a silent conversation that lasted only a few moments before the silver haired man spoke.   
“Well, in that case I guess we have to welcome you properly into our ranks.” Said taicho with a lazy smile; which only showed because of the crease in his right eye. “You will remain at the compound for as long as you can for obvious reasons and if your cover happens to be blown you will be coming to HQ with us.”  
I nodded once and only broke eye contact when I heard Kiba, Sai and Yamato come in through the door. They all waved in greeting and took their places around the table.  
“So now that we’re all here, Sakura would you do the honors?” The pink haired kunoichi sported a wide grin and with an exited ‘Hai’ reached behind her back to retrieve something from her hip pouch. I had no idea what ‘the honors’ were, but I had certainly not expected what came next. On my shishou’s outstretched hand was a piece of cloth with a metal plate attached to it. A hitai-ate.   
I looked up wide eyed at the girl who had become my friend and then to Kakashi. This was big. Being given a hitai-ate was a great honor, it identified you as a Konoha shinobi, a member of their society. A comrade. I took the forehead protector and struggled to avoid getting too emotional. Finally and with a bit of hesitation, I brought the piece of cloth up to my neck and tied it at the nape. When I was done I let my fingers ghost lightly over the cold metal that rested between my collarbones. This was my new identity, I wasn’t just a hopeless civilian anymore; I was a shinobi. And I would fight for peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, this is Bruce Rosie. Thank you to those who have been reading the story so far it does mean a lot to me, please feel free to comment on whatever mistakes you may find as long as you are polite about it I’ll gladly take your criticisms into account. I hope you like the story so far, because I have BIG things planned for it in the future. Feel free to comment or kudos if you like the story enough. I’ll sure appreciate it! Have a lovely day :)  
> Bruce Rosie


	8. The Inevitable

Chapter 8. The Inevitable.  
I ducked as Naruto’s leg flew a few millimeters above my head, successfully avoiding a roundhouse kick to the face. I side-stepped and saw an opening, going for a side kick to my sensei’s ribs once I regained my balance. The blond blocked the strike with his forearm and backed up a step with the force of the impact. Naruto and I had been sparring in a taijutsu only match, and for the first time since I’d started (almost a year and a half ago), we were both going all out.  
The most satisfying thing though, wasn’t just the fact that he wasn’t beating me to a pulp; but that I could hold my ground and from time to time land solid, bone shattering hits. Ever since war had been declared six months ago, we had been training harder than ever; hours of physical conditioning, sparring and draining my chakra well dry had finally started to show.   
Even if war had already been declared, both sides were in a state that could only be described as an arms race. They were gathering supplies, weapons and man power at the fastest speed they could, while at the same time keeping an eye on the enemy. Things in the compound were quite tense, and shinobi had been training harder than ever too; and every time I arrived at the gym, new people were there, getting some workout done.  
Regarding my training, the issue was that it was only my taijutsu that could face shinobi head on, as for ninjutsu, I was still at genin level; and let’s just not get into genjutsu. That stuff is definitively not my forte. I’d been working really hard on fire style jutsu and was slowly getting the hang of it (even if Sakura-shishou had to heal first, second and third degree burns more often than not). Fire was and still is a bitch element to have. I mean yeah it is badass and looks cool from a distance, but let me just tell you this: thank Kami for fireproof gloves and iryo-ninjutsu.   
About medical ninjutsu, Sakura was doing her best to teach me the basics so that I could have some knowledge on the subject; but I was never one to enjoy theory, so let’s just say we agreed I’d just learn how to close wounds and that’d be it. I was and still am not medic material, and probably never will.  
I felt a new chakra signature enter the range of my senses. I was still new to chakra sensing, my abilities were reduced to fifty meters and could only identify shinobi chakra signatures. Civilian or suppressed signatures were still too faint for me to notice. I’d started developing this technique a few weeks ago and my test subjects were limited to Sakura, Kakashi-taicho (who only came by once a week to supervise my training) and Naruto-sensei.   
So when a new chakra signature that I couldn’t identify poked my senses I stopped my leg half-way up on its way to kick Fox. My sudden stillness tipped him off that I’d sensed something.   
“So you finally noticed him? I was wondering if your range had improved, looks like you have five more meters of range now.” Said my sensei as he smiled lightly and relaxed his stance and let go of my leg.   
Naruto walked to the bench where we’d left our stuff and grabbed a water bottle. “You can relax; it’s just Shikamaru and Kiba.” I frowned as my sensei took a large sip of the bottle in his hand. I hadn’t sensed Kiba’s chakra at all.   
“He’s suppressing it. I told him to do it next time he stopped by, you need the practice.” He poured the remaining of his bottle on his head and the back of his neck, wiping out the sweat with a towel. “You’re getting better though, and fast. You just have to practice more in the compound to get a better feel on civilian chakra, and you’ll be a pro in no time.”  
Sensei was definitively a handsome guy, with a strong bone structure, deep blue eyes and a friendly smile. He was probably my age, but for some reason shinobi life hadn’t affected him enough to make him look older, just like it had done for some of our comrades. But even with his mask off, Naruto was still my senior and no matter how good looking or good natured; the guy was still a well oiled killing machine.   
Finally, the door opened and in came my future teammates. Shikamaru’s whole aura reflected boredom and disinterest as usual, while Kiba came in carrying his fiery attitude with him. The Nara nodded in greeting while Kiba waved, and without any other acknowledgement of us went to sit down by the wall opposite the ring.   
Naruto and I left our water to the side and headed to the centre of the mat once again, immediately taking a stance. The new comers sat to the side watching us go, and if their expressions were anything to go by, they were thoroughly enjoying our struggle.   
Kiba had a wide grin on his face while Shikamaru sported a barely noticeable smirk. Little shits. I thought as I managed to land a solid punch to Naruto’s face. He stumbled back and quickly tried to regain his footing. Blood started dripping down his nose and when he felt it he wiped it with the back of his hand, chuckling when he saw the damage.  
“Finally. I thought I’d have to punch you to get you to really go all out.”  
I’d never been a fan of hurting my comrades, even if it was for the sake of training, and the little shit knew it. I shot him a death glare and charged again. My temper rose even further when I heard him chuckle and mutter something along the lines of ‘so eager’. We continued to beat each other to a pulp for the best of fifteen minutes before I managed to land the finishing blow. My foot connected with my sensei’s cheek and the force of the kick threw him back, making him land a few feet further back in a messy heap of limbs.   
I started to feel bad when He didn’t instantly get back up, but actually got worried when the mass of limbs that was my sensei started to shake. Holy shit is he having a seizure? Before I could bring myself to think clearly I was kneeling by Naruto’s body.   
“Oh my god sensei, are you okay?” I asked desperately as carefully I turned his body so he would be facing up; but when I did the sight before me made my heart start pumping blood again. He was laughing.  
I groaned exasperatedly and dropped his head that had been being held in my lap. When the back of his head collided with the mat his laughter died down. A bit.   
“Ow! What was that for?” he said while still chuckling.  
“For scaring me, you deserved it. You’re the worst sensei ever.” I said as I started to stand. “For a second I thought you were hurt.” Naruto apologized at least five times after that (he couldn’t seem to be able to do it without bursting into laughter) before we addressed our little audience.   
“Well, you didn’t break my jaw, but holy shit that’s some kick you’ve got. I feel bad for whoever’s gets that if you ever get angry.” He said finally getting up again. “My little Kouhai’s all grown up.” 

He was right, I had grown, but it wasn’t just my ability that had changed, my whole appearance was different. I’d cut my hair really short and gotten an undercut; it was a boyish style and made me look like a tomboy, but when fighting it was better to have nothing getting in the way. Nozomi had almost fainted when she saw me; and Kiba had actually mistaken me for Naruto the first time, both of us being blond and blue eyed.   
Just as my hair, my whole body had morphed into its practical and battle ready version. It had been a year and a half since I’d joined the shinobi forces and results from my training were notorious to say the least. My whole body had turned into a mass of muscle that could sustain quite al lot.   
As far as clothes went, I usually wore sweats and baggy shirts with cut out sleeves; but from time to time, when I was allowed to accompany a squad on patrol, I was given what (I was told) used to be Konoha’s standard uniform and a blank ANBU mask.  
Let’s just say that I’d turned into a very different person in quite a short time, and it both thrilled and scared me.

“Yeah, I can’t wait for her to be put in the rooster permanently.” Said Kiba “Shikamaru and I need another member for our team, I’m kind of fed up with Sai’s horrible attitude.”  
I chuckled and shook my head. Kiba had a point, Sai did have horrible social skills; in fact he tended to insult people as means of ‘getting closer’ to them.   
“You won’t have to wait long, at the pace she’s going, we’ll be able to place her in the rooster within a couple more months.” Answered my sensei as he handed me a water bottle. “For the time being, we’ll be polishing teamwork. That’s why you two are here.”  
Shikamaru sighed and mumbled something about what a drag this was and Kiba just nodded excitedly. I had already been told that when I was placed in a squad, it would be with those two, who had been an incomplete team until then; borrowing people from other squads from time to time.   
“So how are the teams going to go?” I asked Naruto as I ruffled my short hair in an attempt to ease the heat I felt. “It’s two against two, right?”  
It was already midday and the summer heat was overpowering; we had been training all morning and my body temperature was starting to get quite annoying. I bent my body forward and poured half the content of my bottle over the back of my head and all over my face. It was definitively not a sexy thing to do, my face already red was now wetter than before and my clothes got drenched in the process. I shook my head like a wet dog to get rid of the excess water and Kiba chuckled.   
“You look like the dogs back at home, if you wanted to impress your sempai you should have just tried to be a little bit more lady like.” The grin on his face told me he wanted me to rise to the bite and probably get nervous or blush (not that my face could get any redder.)  
“I didn’t Hound, and I don’t think being lady like is exactly something that would impress you all.” I answered with a smirk while drying my hair off with a towel.  
Fox sighed and covered his face; I swore I could see him smiling though.   
“Guys, you’re supposed to be a team.” Piped in Shikamaru crossing his arms over his chest.   
“Oh believe me, we are. And we’ll wipe the floor with you two.” I said resting my forearm on Kiba’s shoulder; who, just as Shikamaru, crossed his arms and grinned, extended canine teeth showing.   
My sensei uncovered his face and slowly looked up. My smile faded when I saw his eyes. His pupils had taken a + shape and his eyelids had turned a bright shade of orange. What the hell is going on?   
“Well my cute little Kouhai, I’ll make you work your ass off for it.” 

 

I was breathing hard and my chest heaved with every intake of air. To my right Kiba was in a similar state, but had a wicked grin on his face. We were both sweating like crazy and our movements were growing slower with every minute. What on earth is he?   
Before us Shikamaru and Naruto stood with their guard up, not a single drop of sweat on either of them; the perfect combination of a great mind and incredible power was something I was not ready to face, but I didn’t want Kiba to have to drag me around like a helpless little girl.   
“Kiba, you’ve know sensei for a longer time than I have. Does anything come to mind?” I asked as we regrouped after avoiding getting crushed by one of Sensei’s inhuman kicks.  
“Well, this is a technique he learned from his shishou, it’s called sage mode. The only downside I know it has is that he can only hold it for five minutes. So-“here my partner dodged one of Shikamaru’s shadow stitches and jumped to the side.  
“We just have to stay alive for three more minutes!” I finished his sentence and got to work. No better offence than a good defense tight? I thought and with that, I turned my stance and charged for the mass of black shadows going all over the place like the tentacles of the mythological kraken.  
Dodging shadows is more difficult that one would think since they were not something corporeal, but they could and would impale you if you let your guard down; and the ability and talent that somebody must need to make their shadow change form and actually be able to stab things was quite disturbing to consider. Apart from the deathly tentacle looking shadows Shikamaru was producing there was Sensei to deal with.   
The orange eyelids were disturbing enough, but then there was also his pupils and incredible change in his strength. Sensei had gone from a nice, highly qualified shinobi to fucking sage in the span of a couple of minutes. He was throwing jutsu around like it was nothing and attacking with all his might (or what looked like it). He can’t get stronger than this, can he? In my moment of hesitation, one of the tentacle shadows snuck behind me and before I knew it, connected to my own shadow and prevented me from moving an inch.  
“Shadow possession: complete.” I could hear the smile in the Nara’s voice even if I couldn’t see him. They had cornered me, and the moment I lost focus, they saw an opening and took it. Well that was amateurish Hiromi, even for you. I sighed and waited for Shikamaru to release me and get the scolding over with. Sensei won’t be happy.  
“Oh come on Hiromi! I thought you had more in you than that!” complained my partner when Naruto stopped his attack mid-blow.   
“Sorry sempai, I lost focus for a second, I was careless.” I apologized and bowed when my captor let go of my shadow.   
“That was terrible Kouhai, even for you.” Said my sensei with a smirk; but his eyes said something else. He was disappointed. He expected more of me and I didn’t live up to his expectations. “I get it that you are not used to go all out on a ninjutsu spar, but you can’t freeze up like a scared little girl.” His tone had lost all warmth and his smile had disappeared.   
“I’m sorry Sensei. I won’t do it aga-“  
“Of course you won’t. If you do that even one more time, I’ll let somebody else handle your training.”   
I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at his face wide eyed. Air had left my lungs and my mind went blank. He’ll give up on me if I screw up. I couldn’t let that happen, Naruto- sensei was the one I felt most comfortable to be around; he had taught me everything I had learned and knew my fighting style and where to push me and how to make me give my all and-   
I wasn’t giving it my all. I hesitated because I was scared; deep down I was scared, and Sensei had seen that. I put my partner in danger and wasted my life for a mistake an academy student would make. Had it been in mid battle I would be dead, and Kiba would be alone.  
I straightened up and took a deep breath. I won’t do that again, I will under no circumstances be put under somebody else’s command. I looked into everybody’s faces and settled on my sensei’s last.   
“Hai.” 

I sat on the edge of the gym’s roof, one leg hanging off the edge and the other hugged to my chest supporting my chin. I replayed the evening’s events once again. So stupid. I sighed for the hundredth time and watched the sun set in the Far West.   
“Stop beating yourself over it. He won’t drop you.” Kiba had been behind me for a while, just watching me. He hadn’t been concealing his chakra so it was easy to know he was there.  
I didn’t answer. After all I didn’t know any of them all too well, and I was foolish enough to think otherwise. These people had known each other since they were six, had fought together for years, belonged to the same Hidden Village; I was an outsider.   
The breeze blew lightly, ruffling the slightly longer hair on top of my head. I hugged my leg tighter and hid my face in my arms. For a while, we sat there in silence, just enjoying the other’s company. Kiba and I had never been the closest, but he was nice and his energetic attitude was fun to have around. It was a breath of fresh air in the middle of all the fighting and training.   
“Do you know why he said that?” Said the guy next to me. I frowned. Of course I know.  
“Because, if I do that in the middle of a fight I’d lose my life for nothing and leave my team to fend on their own.” I raised my head and looked at him. He was smiling. What?  
“That, and there’s also the fact that at some point you’ll have to kill someone you know.” He finally took his eyes off the horizon and looked at me with a sad smile. “If you hesitate then, and you most probably will, your thoughts will get all messed up and then, you won’t just die,” he made a pause.  
He was right. I would have to kill people from the compound, people I grew with, people who fed me and gave me somewhere to live when I had nothing at the tender age of three. I knew all of this already but hadn’t allowed myself to think of it.  
“You’ll die by that person’s hand; because to them, you’ll be a traitor.”   
I’m a traitor; I’m a backstabbing bitch who betrayed the people who trusted her. I took in a deep breath. I was a traitor to all of them, but for some reason, there was only one person in the compound whose opinion I cared about; only one person I could trust with my secret and know they wouldn’t tell a soul.  
I turned to Kiba with new resolve, determined to do my job well. If I planned it out correctly I could save that person from war, and if they weren’t in danger, then I could kill anybody who crossed my path.   
“Kiba, take me to Taicho.” The guy next to me looked at me confused. “I want to request permission to tell Nozomi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody! I hope you’re enjoying the story so far, it’s all starting to kick off from here on, so stay tuned! I have lots of exiting things planned for the near and far future. Thanks for reading my attempt of a fanfic!   
> Lots of love  
> Bruce Rosie


	9. Middleman No More

Chapter 9. Middle man no more.   
“No.”  
“But Tahicho I trus-“  
“That was an order Hiromi. It was final. You are not allowed to tell anybody in the civilian compound that you are a shinobi informant.” The white haired man was stern and for the first time in the years I’d known him, he had raised his voice.  
“I don’t care if it’s the person you trust the most in the whole wide world, I am not risking the life of my shinobi and our plans just because you want to keep your fr-”  
“What if I get caught?” I interrupted him. I knew it was the utmost lack of respect and could confirm it when nobody spoke. “If I get caught, shinobi would be left with no civilian Intel and everything we have been working on until now will have been for nothing.”   
It was true and he knew it, everybody knew it; it still didn’t mean I wasn’t grasping at straws, and I was running out. It was also the only way to protect Nozomi, in the case she was faced with shinobi, she would be spared as an ally or ‘taken prisoner’, either way shinobi wouldn’t harm her; and we could keep an eye on civilian plans, even if I was gone.  
Kakashi-Taicho sighed, he knew I had a point, I knew I had a point; it was no use arguing about it. The risk was big, there was a possibility Nozomi decided not to trust me and hand me over or even worse, pretend to be a shinobi informant but take the role of a double agent. He had to take all of this into account, both pros and cons of the situation; it was not an easy decision.   
“Only in the extreme case you get captured by the enemy are you allowed to tell her and request her help. But only then, I’m not taking the chance unless you are down.” He locked eyes with mine and held them there for the longest five seconds of my life.   
“Hai, Taicho.” I answered dutifully.   
“Okay,” sighed our commander and took a scroll from his desk, then handed it to Shikamaru “Your mission. Take Hound and Leopard with you, I want a full report when you are back.”  
With a final bow we all exited the office and headed for the supply room to get our equipment. We had been going on missions together for a while, even if I still wasn’t in the official rooster. Our dynamic was always the same: Shikamaru was the head, Kiba was the vanguard and I brought the rear. Our teamwork was getting better too; we were on our way from ‘we never fought together’ to ‘these guys are my team’.   
While Kiba and I were getting our gear ready, Shikamaru read the scroll. It was kind of like a ritual, our team leader planned out the whole mission while we goofed getting ready and got serious when Shikamaru turned to put his gear on and explained the plan as he went.   
“Two different civilian camps will move out to raid the same market today at noon. They have been enemies for a while now and there is a high possibility for them to engage in combat for the supplies. Our team was ordered to keep an eye on them and the conflict so it doesn’t get out of hand, and if possible get more supplies for ourselves.” Finished our team leader; as he strapped his shuriken holster to his left thigh.   
Both Kiba and I nodded, we knew he’d explain our positions and roles when we got there and he’d been able to assess the situation. It had been a while of this and we had already fallen into place. Stag had given me the codename Leopard and painted a mask for me to use whenever I needed to conceal my identity on a mission; and Hound had given me my first ANBU uniform as a welcome gift to the team (even if it wasn’t official yet).   
Up until then we had been going on surveillance missions mostly, but apparently Taicho had decided it was time for me to pull my own weigh. I was glad; even if surveillance missions were good for me to take with my lack of experience; they were quite boring (I couldn’t say that of course, because boring missions are always better than no missions).  
………  
“Remind me, how did we get stuck with the C-rank mission again?”   
Kiba had been whining for the best part of the trip to the market, and it was starting to get on Shikamaru’s nerves. I wasn’t immune to it either, since it was basically my fault they weren’t on a more exiting assignment. My lack of experience was dragging the whole team down and I was painfully aware of that, but I couldn’t let Kiba’s unintentional jabs at me affect my performance; after all I was taking these missions to gain experience.   
“We are training our new member, but it seems like you are the genin here, since you’ve been whining quite a lot” sighed our team leader, “and if you keep at it we’ll be stuck with them forever.”  
Oh burn.   
I stifled a chuckle as well as I could, but Kiba still shot me a murderous glare. Our missions were usually like this; Shikamaru would lead and keep Kiba in check and I’d try not to laugh at them and follow instructions as efficiently as I could. We’d become a pretty coordinated team, a unit; we’d left our disastrous beginnings behind to become a well oiled machine.   
We’d been working just fine. 

 

Civilians from my former compound broke into the market, waving their weapons around like a bunch of toddlers with a new toy. They yelled out commands to each other making the whole operation messier than it already looked. They clearly had no sense of order, no formations to guard each other’s back and no fixed objective other than ‘take what you can carry and get the hell out’. I cringed at the thought of me being among their ranks and being every bit as stupid and reckless back in the day.   
Kiba and I kept an eye on the southern entrance and waited for our leader to return with reports from the northeast gate, things were not looking good since the civilian party had left three over paranoid guards to keep watch. Things will go to shit really fast if we are not careful. I took a closer look at the guards. Last time I checked, two of them were working at the greenhouses and the other one was with the logistics team. Crap.  
“This is their first run.” I whispered. My team mate turned to look at me and signaled ‘clear’ with his left hand. “No Kiba, I mean it. Those three were not with the runners last time I checked the rooster in the compound, and I check it every two days.”   
“You can look into that once you get back, Leopard.” Shikamaru had made his entrance silent as ever, and if it wasn’t for my developing chakra senses I would have never noticed. “For now let’s just finish here, we can discuss that later.”   
Kiba and I gathered around our team leader and waited for further instructions. The atmosphere had shifted, and our usual playful dynamic was replaced by what Kiba called mission mode. Our objective was simple: keep the conflict inside the warehouse, and if possible gather supplies for the shinobi camp. We would spread out around the place and try and keep all fronts covered.   
“Needless to say, make little to no contact; we don’t want any witnesses. Also, no showing off ninjutsu, Kiba that goes for you; we don’t want to confirm what they already suspect. We don’t need another shinobi witch-hunt.”   
I nodded and put my mask in place. This could go very wrong in more than one way, we could manage but even so I didn’t want them feeling like they had to watch over me the whole time. True, these lower ranking missions were intended to give me field experience, but it was for that exact reason I had to excel in them. Or at least not burden the rest of the team.   
“Hai.”   
……..  
Well shit, what do I do now?  
Things started to slow down. The knife intended for me, was intercepted somewhere along the way. Behind us, a bomb went off. What the actual fuck is going on!? All of a sudden I came back to my senses, like someone had kicked me in the back of the head; and I started moving.   
A civilian charged at me with a battle cry. I dodged his katana as he swinged. His kenjutsu skills were nothing extraordinary but a sharp blade is a sharp blade no matter who holds it. I took two kunai out of my thigh holster and took a stance. No use in chickening out now, Hiromi. This is not what I trained you for.   
I blocked the guy’s next swing at my head and fought my way into his lowered guard. Before I could acknowledge what was happening, the man’s throat had been slit open and I was moving onto the next opponent with bloodied gloves.  
It wasn’t a bad first kill; it wasn’t traumatic even though it probably should have been. For some reason I found that in the middle of a fight I found myself most at ease; no anxieties, no stress, no guilt. Just me and my adversary, and full concentration in the task at hand: get past him; get back to the others; complete the mission.   
The rest of my fight was a blur of faceless adversaries and red, a lot of red. I tried to feel for my team mates’ chackra once or twice, but it took too much of my focus off the battle and I couldn’t afford to lose. I kicked the logistics’ guy temple and left him unconscious on the floor; I looked up to try and locate my partners.   
More explosions went off across the warehouse, fire catching on anything it could and spreading throughout the place. Where the hell are they? I ran towards the source of the explosions only to find more civilians along the way.   
“Don’t let her through!” would yell somebody from the rear, and more people would come running to try and stop me. But unfortunately for them, I had completely switched gears. Training was kicking in like a second nature and my body and mind would act without me realizing. I cut off arms, sliced throats, kicked temples, stabbed chests and ran; I ran like my life depended on it.  
I have to get to them. Anyone who’s in the way is going down. I have to get to them.   
My self-awareness had completely shut down, I didn’t care if I was hurt, I didn’t care if I killed people along the way; I just wanted to return to my team mates and make sure they were fine, alive. For some reason my priorities had changed, when once all I wanted was to do the right thing, and keep my conscience clean, now all I wanted was to protect Kiba and Shikamaru. And I didn’t care if I had to kill the whole civilian population to do it, if it meant they were safe; I would.  
At some point along the way, I’d disposed of all my enemies and was now rounding the corner of where I supposed my team mates were; but before I could make the last turn, something inside my head suggested I evaluate the situation first. I decided to trust my instinct and take a look first.   
With their backs facing me, there were my team mates, Kiba and Shikamaru were both surrounded by what I suspected were corpses. None of them had even broken a sweat and their breathing was even; but what took me off guard was their chakra. The level of life energy surrounding those two was unbelievably high and the killing intent could drown an elephant. What could have put them both on edge so much? I could expect it from Kiba but Shikamaru’s also…   
And then I set eyes on the person in front of them. Standing in the middle of the hallway all high and mighty was no other than Mizuki. I smiled to myself. So he went and pissed off not only Kiba, but ALSO Shikamaru? He’s dead meat. I tried to listen in to their conversation, but it proved quite a feat with the roar of fire in the background, so I channeled my chackra up and into my ears like Kiba had once suggested. Turns out The Inuzuka clan has its superior senses only because they are trained to do so since they are four. Who knew?  
Even if I tried channeling chakra, I still couldn’t hear what they were saying (which frustrated me to no end) so I decided to lay low and be their backup if needed. I congratulated myself on my patience later when a whole squadron of civilians arrived to Mizuki’s rescue. The snake even had the gall to smile triumphantly, I swore I’d wipe that expression off his face with my bare hands. And then, they attacked. I launched myself out of my hiding place and wielded a kunai in each hand, getting there in time to help my team.   
Needless to say, there was a lot of blood. The enemy was successfully neutralized and Kiba and I had suffered small injuries. I’d also gotten to see the Nara’s family jutsu up close (let me tell you, seeing shadows become corporeal and start stabbing people is quite unsettling) which I considered just another reason not to make Shikamaru mad.   
Overall, The mission hadn’t been a complete failure in my eyes…  
“Your cover is blown”  
… up until then.  
“Don’t worry though, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t you who blew it. I think we may have a breach in security, or someone’s been tailing you.” I spaced out right then as if someone had hit me straight in the back of the neck. “We have to report this; let’s get a move on.”  
How could I have been so careless? I felt so stupid, so useless; I couldn’t even lose a civilian trail and I called myself a shinobi? I had disappointed everyone, Taicho, Sensei, Sakura-chan, absolutely every single ANBU operative in our division. I felt worthless, worse than worthless. I felt like there was nothing I could do to fix the disappointment I’d caused in others. I was supposed to be the middleman, the person who brought civilians and shinobi back together after thirteen years. And I’d gone and murdered anyone who stood in my way without a care in the world for their lives.  
Way to blow it, Hiromi. You could have done so much more, but you fuck up even before you finish training, truly hopeless. This is what you get for getting your hopes up. But I guess there is no going against one’s nature, born a failure, die a failure. Born alone, die alone. That’s the best you can hope for in life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry for the short chapter, I'm not one to do long ones unles I realy feel like writing. But anyway, here's a bit of self-loathing Hiromi, this is just getting started guys, so stay tuned.  
> Bruce Rosie


	10. Bargaining Chip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING this chapter includes sensitive topics like torture please read at your own discretion. I hope you are enjoying the story so far, I sure am enjoying writing it. This is it folks! This is when shit gets serious!  
> Bruce Rosie

Taicho paced up and down the office with long, rushed strides. I'd never seen him this anxious. The civilian forces had sent a message: turn in the traitor and war will not be declared; if shinobi failed to do so then a full out armed conflict was in order.  
Once we had returned from our failed mission, we'd reported to our commander and been looking for a solution up until the message was brought in by Sai, who'd been on patrol. It was a tempting offer they were making, and they knew it; but unlike civilians, shinobi are quite reluctant when it comes to leaving a partner behind.  
All options had to be considered, from a trap to an honest proposal, to a way around turning someone in and shinobi were trained since they were six or younger to 'look underneath the underneath'; the decision could and would not be rushed. That was the main reason why after an hour, a decision had yet to be made. Apparently the death of one for the benefit of many was not good enough reason.  
I'd been arguing for the most part of the time, since it was my duty to ensure peace as the chosen middleman and I had joined the shinobi forces with full knowledge that this could be asked of me. But then again: 'It is my duty' was still not reason enough. Not that I was eager to die, mind you; but I wasn't against it either. I'd known this could happen from the very beginning, and had joined them regardless, but my seniors didn't seem to particularly care.  
In the office, Taicho's pacing was the only sound that disturbed the silence. All the operatives I was acquainted with were silently waiting for the silver haired shinobi to make a decision. Sakura had once told me that Kakashi had been hers and Naruto-senpai's sensei when they were only genin; and that even back then he'd hated leaving people behind; 'those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash' or something along those lines.  
Of course when the peace of the country was at stake, one had to question their own ways and come up with something that would benefit the majority the most.  
Kakashi-taicho stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face us. His face as usual was covered by his blue mask, making his expression very hard to read, but I didn't miss the hardness in his stance. Well the others won't like this at all.  
….  
My wrists were tied behind my back. All my weapons had been removed as well as my flak jacket, shin guards and mask. I kept my back straight, my chin high and my eyes hard. Being escorted through the civilian compound with Kiba and Shikamaru as guards was not fun; my very team mates were handing me in to my death and the people who had once been my comrades only gave me disgusted stares. Nobody spoke up, but they all whispered about the traitor, how 'she's always been weird' or how they 'knew there was something off with her'.  
None of that mattered, I didn't care for their opinions on me, they would have never understood anyway. The only person whose opinion did matter and in whose eyes the least thing I wanted to see was disappointment was Nozomi. My best friend thankfully wasn't there when they escorted me in; I would have hated to see her face in that moment.  
Our footsteps made no sound as we walked behind Mizuki, who lead the way to the main office where the strategists were waiting. It's ironic how a group of grown ass men call themselves the strategists, when Shikamaru who's at least ten years their junior can outsmart them in seconds.  
A smile crept up to my face at the thought, as Mizuki opened the door. Only three of the 'Shikamaru wannabes' were there waiting for us, all sporting smug faces.  
"You will not be smiling for ling Junsei-san, high treason is a grave offence among our lines" said one of them. I'd never bothered learning their names.  
My smile turned into a full out grin. These guys wanted to be intimidating, yet Taicho's killing intent would make them pee their pants before they could even consider what was happening. Intimidation is not your forte honey.  
"We'll see, I doubt any interrogation thechniques you have could be worse than senpai's training methods."  
I heard the tiniest hitch in Kiba's breath at my remark. 'Nothing can be worse than Naruto's sage mode' it said. On the other hand Shikamaru's grip on my forearm tightened in a warning. Our team leader was still trying to lessen my sentence and was desperately grasping at straws.  
I for one had already accepted my fate, I'd done my best to be the ideal middleman; I'd trained restlessly for years to get there; and now I was going to die fulfilling my duty. Did I have any regrets? Tons. I would have liked to continue to grow as a kunoichi and a person, I would have liked to get to know Konoha, travel to the other elemental nations, become a Jonin sensei; and eventually when time came to retire maybe settle down, form a family and raise my own kids.  
But I would die there. I would die and my dreams would too, so that the dreams of other shinobi could come true; so that both civilians and shinobi could live in peace once again without fearing another internal conflict. I could let myself die for that.  
"Shinobi expect a peace treaty pout of this deal; And the promise of no further conflicts between both civilians and shinobi. Also, our only condition is that we are allowed to carry out the execution" spoke Shikamaru before I could continue to dig a deeper grave for myself.  
I knew he was just following orders, but I'd never expected that. They wanted to be the ones to take me down? Kakashi what the fuck? I couldn't imagine why they would ever want to do that, wouldn't it be a huge strain on whoever had to do it? Or was I just under the impression that they actually considered me a comrade, a friend even? Did they really care? The question floated in my mind and all of a sudden it was the only thing I could think of.  
I looked up at Shikamaru, but he paid me no mind, he kept his gaze on the man in front of us. When I turned to Kiba I found myself in the same situation. Realization hit me like a ton of bricks and my expression sobered. So fucking naïve.  
I raised my head with new determination. They would not see my weakness, Id decided to do this because it was the right thing to do, not to make friends. I would not break, even if they tore apart my body, I would not betray those who showed me the truth. Even if I was just a pawn, a bargaining chip in the negotiations table.  
"Of course. The execution will be held in two days time; it will be a public event since the whole compound has been affected by Junsei-san 's actions" Said the man in the middle.  
From the corner of my eye I saw both my former team mates nod sharply. It took all I had in me not to start crying right there. Even if I hadn't known them for long, they felt more like family than the civilian compound and I had learned a lot from them, not only technique wise, but they'd taught me how to be human in a world were compassion was rare and morals were just an abstract concept.  
Both shinobi took their leave without another word. It felt like a lifetime before the door closed behind them, my mind racing with the memories of them, all of them. I was left behind; I was alone; I didn't belong t either side, I was an outcast in a world that had been divided by war and I was meant to stay an outcast as a middleman. But that was over.  
The head of the compound smiled. It made me sick, he found this situation actually amusing; the loss of a life that had only wanted to unite the fire nation amused him. Sadist. That guy would not break me, I decided. Yes, I was an outcast, yes I was the loser in this situation, but there was no time to drown in self pity, I had to survive the interrogation; it would be my last act of bravery.  
"I hope you are ready Miss Junsei, the next two days will be very fun for us and no fun at all for you." Huh.  
I chuckled. So predictable. This man had no idea what he was doing and even if he did he would not be the one to interrogate me, he didn't have the stomach for it. I had to survive this interrogation, so when I headed to my execution in two days time, the last thing he'd see would be my triumphant smile.  
"Bring it civvie".  
…  
The air was knocked out of me with a punch to the gut, leaving me heaving desperately to try and fill my lungs. Naruto's kicks could shatter my ribs you pussy, this is nothing. I thought and gave Mizuki a broken smile. He had been beating the crap out of me for the best of an hour and he had yet to break a bone. It was most definitively not fun, but I could and would endure it.  
"Speak!" he yelled for the third time in our lovely time together.  
"Your punch is so weak I think I might have more balls than you, Mizuki." I panted.  
I payed for my smart remark, I'd been paying for a while now. With my hands cuffed to the wall I was in no position to defend myself, but even in my bruised state I reckoned I could still take him on with ease. Naruto broke your left leg twice, your ribs more times you can count, both arms at some point or other and I hope you still remember that time he shattered your jaw. I'd been enumerating the wounds senpai had given me over time to remind myself that in fact it could get worse.  
"Then you give me no choice, I guess I'll have to get serious now." Said my former team mate with a smile.  
"Thank god! I was getting bored just hanging here." I chuckled, sort of.  
But my smile faded as soon as I saw Mizuki turn to the fireplace and took an iron pole that had been left over the fire and was shining a vibrant shade of orange.  
"I hope you are ready, hon. This will hurt like a bitch."  
…..  
My head fell limply to my chest as my lungs ran out of air. Think of them. Naruto broke your bones with a single punch. Firestyle ninjutsu with Sakura burnt your skin to a crisp too. Another ragged scream escaped me as another nail was ripped from the finger it was attached to. I panted hard, face wet from the sweat and tears running down my face.  
"I'll ask again." Mizuki's voice gave me chills, the slight amusement and excitement behind his tone made me sick. How could someone enjoy torture?  
"I want the identities of the shinobi in your division."  
With the little strength I had left I managed a small smile. Like I'd tell him anything, I would die anyway so why tell him anything? It wasn't like he was going to spare me if I did.  
"Fuck you." My voiced did not rise above a whisper.  
My face was down and the longer strands of hair on top of my head fell to my eyes and stuck to my temple. I had no strength left to lift my gaze, but I made sure the message was received, loud and clear.  
Breathing was getting increasingly hard, I had a few cracked ribs; my jaw was swollen, probably broken; burns covered my bare back from where Mizuki had touched it with the blazing iron pole; and my left hand was missing a few nails. The interrogation was ending that day, I just had to survive a couple of hours more and Id finally be allowed to die.  
"You know Hiromi? I reckoned you'd have broken long ago, I'm actually impressed." Brown cold eyes appeared in my line of sight accompanied by a wicked grin.  
Once upon a time, I had thought he was handsome, but now I just wanted to disfigure his face with my bare hands. Apparently the man in front of me had been thinking along those lines because he unsheathed his knife and brought it to my face, lightly caressing my cheek with the cold metal.  
"Let's see how you do when you are no longer pretty, I hear tampering with a girl's looks can affect their mental stability greatly" Continued my interrogator, as he continued his taunting.  
I locked my jaw, sending a wave of pain through my whole body. If I can manage to focus on something else then maybe I can endure it. But I couldn't.  
The moment Mizuki pressed the knife to my cheek forcefully a scream escaped my already torn throat. Don't give in, scream, cry, curse his very existence; but don't you dare say a thing! My mind instructed. It was easy to say, try actually enduring that kind of pain.  
"Kill me please!" I found myself begging. Pain was making my mind go fuzzy. "Please Mizuki, kill me!"  
"Give me the names." He insisted, stopping his torture for a moment.  
I couldn't find the tears to cry anymore, my sobs were just that and my whole body ached with every breath.  
"Kill me, please." I whispered.  
I heard Mizuki click his tongue before the pain started over.  
Let it be said it was the longest two days of my life.  
…  
Light came in as the door creaked open. I heard light footsteps, but couldn't bring myself to look up. Someone dipped their hand in water and before I knew it a slightly tan hand was whipping the blood off my face.  
"Was it really worth it, Dumbass?" My mind focused harder on the voice. I knew that person. But my mind was still drifting and would not let me give the voice a face.  
"They plan to start a war either way, why did you have to agree to this, Hiromi?" Nozomi.  
With what little strength and will I had I lifted my head to look at my best friend. Her cheeks were wet and her eyes red, she was crying. She continued to clean me up, and when she was done, she took a little white box and proceeded to take a needle and threat out of it.  
"You have to tell them the strategists don't intend to fulfill their end of the bargain." She started stitching up my right temple.  
"Nozomi, how.."  
"I'm your best friend, I know everything." She didn't look at me, too concentrated on my still wounded face. "And I didn't say anything because I knew you believed that what you were doing was the right thing."  
Nozomi had always been like this, she had always been able to tell when I was up to something. She had been covering my treason the whole time, and she hadn't told me because she believed that if I was convinced I was doing the right thing, then she should support me.  
"I need you to do just one last thing for me, Noz." I had to see this thing through, and if it meant my last words to my best friend were a selfish request then so be it.  
"Anything." The thing about Nozomi's eyes was that you could see her soul clearly if you looked hard enough.  
"Could you be a shinobi informant once I'm gone?" I would regret it thoroughly if my request ended up killing her, but it was something that had to be done.  
"Of course."  
"Thank you; and I'm sorry."


	11. The Death of Junsei Hiromi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's nothing as drastic in this chapter as the last one, but still be careful guys.  
> Things are getting heated up now, seems like we have a war in our hands...  
> Bruce Rosie

Mizuki would return to the cell every three hours. There was no clock or windows in the room, but I knew because counting was the only method I found to keep my mind from going haywire. Sixteen times. He would come here a total of sixteen times, and I had already endured fourteen. Two more sessions, six more hours. And it would be over, and I would be allowed to die.   
Finally.  
The door opened swiftly and a rush of outside air came in. It was fresh, smelled like a mixture of grass and dirt, but in contrast with the humid atmosphere, smelling of sweat and blood; it was heavenly. But there wasn't a pair of footsteps, there were two. Huh they've come to watch the show probably. But it wasn't combat boots what appeared in my line of vision; it was ninja sandals.  
A hand took a gentle hold of my chin and lifted it up. The gloved hand belonged to a mask I knew well, black and white surrounded by pink hair. Panther. Another set of hands uncuffed me from the wall, letting my body fall limp into Sakura's arms. Behind her appeared the person who took my bindings away. Orange whiskers and a fierce expression decorated the mask, and a mop of wild, blond hair crowned his head. Fox.  
"I see they at least had the decency to patch you up a bit." Said Sakura as she examined my broken body.  
"It was Nozomi. She agreed." I said with a meaningful look. They nodded sharply once and we continued to watch Panther work in silence.  
"I will do it" said my former sensei. "In case you were wondering."  
I nodded once; my body still stiff and aching all over.  
"Thank you for everything. I'm sorry you have to do this." I never managed to find his eyes under the shadow of his mask, but right then it was all I wanted. I wanted him to be proud.  
No one said anything after that, we didn't need to. The way they put their arms around me and helped me walk up the stairs and onto the rooftop, told me everything I needed to know.  
They were sorry.  
They didn't want to do this.  
They would remember me.  
Sakura opened the door and light flooded in. outside the whole civilian compound was waiting, and the shinobi nearby, crept in the shadows watching everything unnoticed. I was taken to the edge of the building and made to stand there.  
"Junsei Hiromi, you have been charged with high treason for providing outside parties with our compound's information. Therefore to avoid the possibility of it happening again and in exchange of a cease fire, I hereby condemn you to death. Do you have any last words?"  
Natuto stood a few feet ahead of me, with four senbon between his fingers and his right hand drawn and ready to shoot. His stance was stiff, his whole aura screamed anger and irritation, and for some reason fear. Sakura was beside me, a few feet out of her partner's range. The wind blew and nobody spoke. Naruto prepared to shoot.  
I looked at my sensei and for a brief second, found his eyes.  
"I'm sorry, I disappointed you."  
Then, everything went black.  
…..  
Shikamaru  
Sakura was the first to come out the door, and right then, I knew it was bad. If there was something that put a medic on edge it was a torture victim. 'I don't see the point in inflicting that kind of mental and physical pain, to scar a person for life is a monstrous thing to do' she'd said. I could see her line of thought but didn't realize the whole extent of what torture could cause until I saw Hiromi.  
To say my partner was beaten up would have been an understatement. Sakura had patched her up a bit, but it was plain clear that she had been through hell these past two days. The whole left side of hes face had been wrapped up in bandages, same for her left arm. Naruto was supporting most of her weigh and her breathing was uneven. More than one rib had been broken for sure and the back of her blue shirt was soaked and brown from the blood she'd lost. The usually confident stride was replaced by a pathetic dragging of feet, and her short hair (what wasn't covered in bandages) was filthy with dirt and blood instead of its usual blond.  
Her overall appearance was horrible and the fact that we had let her go through this alone made me horribly angry at myself. But the fact that somebody had actually had the nerve to do it made my blood boil. Why didn't I come up with something sooner and spare her all of this? Somebody is going to pay for this. A hand grabbed my shoulder, and I realized I was edging forward and my killing intent was leaking. Sai's expression and body language was plain as usual and gave nothing away, that's why the anger in his voice startled me.  
"We'll have time for that soon enough. Right now we have to focus on the extraction, when things go south." Sai never gave away his feelings, so when it turned into a deep kind of growl, I looked around.  
Every single shinobi in the ANBU division was oozing a huge amount of killing intent, even Kakashi and Yamato, who were the most experienced within the division. I didn't answer Sai's remark, he was right and we both knew it. We had one job and one job only: to get our comrades out of there.  
Back on the rooftop Hiromi said something before Naruto sent the projectiles flying in a curve and they impaled themselves in the girl's neck. Sakura caught her body before she hit the floor and laid her carefully on the floor, before checking on her vitals along with their civilian medic. Their diagnose was the same: no pulse.  
Just as expected.  
Naruto's shot had been perfect, he had been practicing the most out of the seven of us. We'd chosen senbon because the same technique had fooled Kakashi thirteen years ago. Senbon were not made to kill, they were used in acupuncture and as a medical technique; and if placed right they could slow a person's breathing and pulse enough so that even a medic of Sakura's caliber would believe a person was dead. But of course she knew Hiromi wasn’t.  
Naruto had pulled off what none of us could. In two days he had mastered a technique that required high levels of precision in order to work. Both Kakashi and Yamato had approved of Naruto's use of senbon, and now all there was left was the wait.  
My eyes scanned over the civilian crowd. Nobody was speaking, but one girl was sobbing into a guy's chest, who had his arms tightly around her. So that's our new girl. To their right there was another guy wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.  
Back by the edge of the roof were my comrades, Sakura had taken the 'corpse' while Naruto exchanged words with one of the leaders of the compound. An old guy with a few extra kilos and excessively long gray hair, didn't look like the 'nice grandpa' type. And only because we were expecting it, our squad reacted in time. The man held up his right fist.  
The signal.  
We all moved out as soon as Taicho gave us the green light. The remaining five ninja that had been creeping about in the shadows surrounded the civilian crowd; killing intent filling the atmosphere and masks scanning the sea of faces looking for the slightest hint of movement. The gray haired man put a katana to Naruto's throat, and smiled. Behind him, Sakura had balanced the unconscious Hiromi onto her back and was slowly backing up towards the edge of the roof.  
"You shinobi made your last mistake, you underestimated us and now look at you! You are outnumbered and after today the world will finally be rid of all of you!"  
Naruto chuckled.  
The man's smile disappeared, and his expression turned into a mask of confusion.  
"I think you are overestimating your numbers, underestimating us. I don't think you've forgotten what happened last time civilians underestimated shinobi." Kakashi's voice, when intended was the scariest thing ever, that man could make anyone piss their pants with the right amount of killing intent and words.  
Tension grew. The crowd was in a bind, not sure if to feel scared of the expressionless masks and unmoving figures that we were. Some, had some brains and tried not to look us in the eye and would try to sink into the floor to avoid being noticed. Other not so intelligent, and to be honest quite brainless people, decided sticking out their chests and raising their chins was the right thing to do. Wrong. Shinobi are dangerous, pissed shinobi are something you don't want to come across, but we were beyond pissed by this point.   
This was personal and we were out for blood.  
Hiromi had risked everything and had willingly handed over her life for the benefit of peace, and this dimwits had gone and tore her to pieces, broken her, scarred her for life. Our comrade, and to some of us, our friend.   
You guys have no idea what you just got yourselves into. This used to be for the fire country, now it's personal.  
Tension kept growing. The air filled with it and invaded everybody's hearts. Until someone couldn't take it anymore. A man charger towards Kiba, knife unsheathed and accompanied by a brutal battle cry. That simple act out of adrenaline and fear, started a war. An unspoken declaration that no one cared to deny.  
After that, hell broke loose. People charger towards us masked ones, and there was no going back. But nobody ever forgot the plan, their role. We had to cover Hiromi and Sakura's escape, and if possible escort them back to HQ. Various civilians lost their lives that day, and even when we held back, it still ended up being a massacre. There had been six ANBU operatives of the infiltration and assassination divisions; and seven civilians for each of us, and yet we had managed to lower their numbers to 4 on 1. On our way back we took special care to conceal our tracks and making sure nobody was stupid enough to try and tail us.  
During our return trip, I somehow managed to forget the state of my team mate for a moment, and let my mind wander; what had just happened had consequences, we were now at war. We had been gathering supplies and manpower around all five elemental nations, and now we were going to make use of them.  
The Hokage would not be pleased.  
….  
Naruto rushed past the guards and sneered at anyone who dared try and stop him. Sakura had handed Hiromi to the blond halfway into the trip to preserve her chakra in order to be able to operate on her as soon as we arrived. I had only managed to catch up to them and just barely.  
As soon as we entered the hospital wing, Sakura tied up her hair and started ordering staff around. She had switched into 'medic mode' and there was no place to disobey or fuck up, not when she was the second coming and apprentice of the fifth Hokage.  
"I want an IV in her arm right away, and you go get someone to prepare a room for surgery! Move people now! We don't have time for this- hey you go get Shizune."  
Naruto and I wiredrew to the waiting room, to try and stay out of the way. It was better not to interfere when Sakura was working. When we actually sat down and had some real time to think, I went over what had happened. Naruto paced up and down the hall, receiving weird looks from both nurses and medics. I was genuinely surprised when he didn't go on a rampage right after he saw her. Right then he must have been on the edge of calling out Kurama and wiping every civilian's ass. Good.  
"Oi, Naruto! Sit down you are freaking out the nurses." The jinchuriki groaned and sat down heavily.  
It was pititful to watch. He'd been in this situation before, when war broke out and Hinata went into surgery. We'd been only genin then, and we'd been deployed to the frontlines either way. Naruto had carried her all the way back to medic's camp and sat through her four hour surgery. Hinata never came out of the tent, and now he was afraid Hiromi would never come out of surgery either. But this time it was different. This wasn't Hinata. This was his Kouhai, his subordinate, the person he'd trained himself and turned her into a damn good shinobi. He was responsible for her and her safety, and he had failed.  
"I'm going to go report, do you want anything when I come back?" I asked tanding up with a tired groan.  
He didn't answer. He didn't seem to be able to hear me and his knee kept bouncing up and down as his arms hugged his chest tightly. I sighed and started for the door. I hoped Hiromi would make it out okay, not just for Naruto's sake, for all of our sakes. None of us wanted another dead comrade, it wasn't nice; and this time if she died, it would be on us. Nobody wanted to live with that.   
Besides finding another team mate now would be too troublesome at this point.


	12. Home For the First Time.

Chapter 12. Home for the first time.  
First, noise came back. The noise of a machine beeping steadily beside me was muffled by something covering my ears; but it was there, faint but undeniably there. It took me a couple of minutes to get used to the feeling, but when I did, I heard the sharp turn of a page. I almost convinced myself I had imagined it, until a few minutes later I heard it again. Somebody was there, in the same room as me. There's someone in here and I can't see. Where is here?  
The last thing I could recall was Sensei's mask glaring at me and then everything was just black. My whole body hurt, proof that I wasn't dead. Not too sure how to feel about that yet. The page turned again and my mind refocused on what was important. There was someone there, I didn't know who, if they were shinobi or civilian; or maybe if either side had been exterminated. Why the fuck was I not dead?  
The beeping sound beside me started speeding up. I tried to open my eyes but they seemed to be sewed shut. My whole body screamed in pain every time I tried to move it, and I was trying really hard not to think about the reason why. The person beside moved, the chair making a scraping noise as it was pushed away roughly.  
Footsteps rushed to the side of my bed and a hand closed in on mine. There was cloth between our skins where somebody had patched up my wounds. Behind my eyelids, images of nails being pulled out reappeared, and I realized I couldn't stop them. The beeping quickened.  
"Go get Haruno-san" said a male voice. "Junsei-san if you can hear me, please squeeze my hand"  
Sakura, please someone get me Sakura.  
I put my whole strength into that squeeze, like my sanity depended on it (it kinda did). All I wanted was something familiar, something that could make all these images go away. In this case a person, someone to make my mind understand that I was okay; that I wasn't alone in that dark room anymore. I needed to make sure I was safe.  
"Okay, great," the man sighed "Junsei-san, you are in the shinobi head quarters, in the hospital wing. You have been unconscious for two weeks."  
The guy attempted to let go of my hand, but I made sure to keep it in place and tightened my hold on him. I could see Mizuki's depraved smile and the waves of heat coming off the blazing hot iron pole, before he moved to mark my back.  
'Just like cattle, right? After our time together is over, you will be butchered like cattle so that the rest of us can live. Isn't that amazing? You get to die for our survival, such a noble cause.'  
My tormentor's voice kept echoing inside my head and had yet to stop. I wanted to scream, cry out for help, but I knew I was alone; no one could save me inside my own head.  
"Oh thank Kami you're here Haruno-san, I think she's going into cardiac arrest!" the hand I was desperately clinging to, the only thing keeping my mind from going haywire, was taken away violently.  
And in flooded the memories. Without an anchor to the real world and nothing other than my ears providing information, I kind of freaked out. And when I say kind of, I mean I had an all out panic attack.  
"Prepare to defibrillate on my mark," My terror increased. I'm awake please don't do this! "Hiromi-chan, it's me. Please squeeze my hand if you can hear me."  
Warm fingers wrapped around my left hand and I felt myself let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. I gripped Sakura's hand as hard as my worn out body would allow me, and a huge sense of relief rushed through me when she sighed. She never let go of my hand.  
"Now, can you please enlighten me on the reason you almost made me defibrillate a patient who was clearly just having a panic attack?" even with my eyes out of order for the time being I could almost imagine the medic murdering the man with a single glance.  
"You are supposed to be a medic, not a fresh-out-of the-academy genin. Pull something like that again and I will have you go through your iryo-nin training all over again, and you will pull only night shifts for the rest of your career. Got it?"  
The only response I could hear was a timid 'hai' and a set of footsteps rushing out of the room almost instantly. Up until then I'd forgotten that while Tsunade-sama (the Hokage and the best iryo-nin of all time) Sakura had been placed as head of the medical division. Training under such a renowned and talented shinobi must have been hard, but an honor nonetheless; it was just another reason I respected Sakura so much.  
When the fuss was over, my friend moved to remove some of my bandages. Turns out my head was completely wrapped in them. Oh so that's why. Layers and layers kept being unwrapped, and as they kept going two things occurred me: the first was, dude was I made into a fucking mummy?; and the second was, well if they had to turned me into one then I bet I look far from pretty.  
The last layer was the worst; it felt like someone was ripping a big ass band aid off my face. Air felt cold and soothing in contrast with my swollen and raw skin. I tried opening my eyes; it was way more difficult than I thought, but the huge sense of accomplishment I got when I did was worth the struggle.  
The first thing I saw was a blur of pink. Had my face not been hurting like it was, I would have smiled. I blinked a couple of times to get the sleep off my eyes and get my eyes used to the light, and after a few seconds I was able to see my friend standing by my bed. She wasn't smiling. Figures. I took a deep breath and with the most hoarse voice I've had to this day addressed her.  
"So in a scale from one to ten, how much did Mizuki fuck up my face?" Sakura didn't laugh; she just gave me a sad smile that said 'here comes the defense mechanism'. It was weird, to have this strong amazing kunoichi look at me with pity, it was awful. She did try to hide it for my sake and eventually smiled.  
"Well as a medic, I'd say it's an eight out of ten. As a girl it's definitively in the twenties, twenty one maby?" I chuckled, but with how dry my throat was, it sounded like I was about to cough out a lung. Someone handed me a glass of water.  
"Well then I'll have to thank Kami I have to use a mask wherever I go." I smiled back at her, but we both knew none of us meant it; the jokes, the smiles, the easy talk, it was all just a front and we both knew it. Even if I had never been vain, to have your face fucked with at this degree was something anyone would have trouble getting their self esteem back up; this was a low blow.  
"We can try our hardest, but the stitch-work they did on you was way too rough; it will scar anyway, even with chakra treatment" Shishou was back on business mode, but the tender look on her face, stayed with her for a long time after I'd woken.  
The next forty five minutes were spent explaining how my treatment would go. My head would stay uncovered to let the skin breathe, my arms would have some fresh air time too (except my hand which was too raw), and my back was going to stay bandaged until it could heal a bit more since burns of that degree were extremely dangerous if infected.  
As Sakura stated that my training would have to be put off until further notice, I fisted my sheets. I would be invalidated for an unknown period of time with a war looming over our heads. But worse than that was the fact that if I was still alive, then shinobi had known the treaty wouldn't last, and decided to take percussions if a worst case scenario eventually happened.  
So I died for nothing. I was determined to give my life to avoid war and save their asses, and they couldn't even have the decency to actually abide by the treaty. I lowered my head and stared at my lap, I couldn't concentrate on anything else. Huh, I guess there's no reason for me to be nice anymore. If war is what they want then war is what they are going to get. There will be no mercy from me. I will kill every last one of them, even if it means I'll die doing it.  
…..  
I was quietly sipping on my soup when my first visit came in. my sensei stood still at the door, just watching me. I dropped the spoon on the tray and put the mask that had been resting on my chin back on. What little of my face that was left uncovered was still covered in fresh scars, still pink from the chakra treatment I'd received.  
The night before, Sakura had brought a mirror upon my request. It was definitively listed on the list of worst moments of my life. The damage was extensive and quite difficult to hide since it was everywhere. Long pink lines ran from my forehead to my chin spreading through my face like cobwebs. It was horrible, it was terrifying and enormously morbid. It was not a face one would want to see, even less so if it was close up. I cried myself to sleep that night, and continued to do so for the next two weeks.  
And now, Naruto had seen. At some point in my internal self loathing streak, he had managed to take a seat on my right, going completely unnoticed. What made me come out of my head and aware of his presence, was a hand holding my own. It was warm, and I couldn't really feel anything but its weigh because of the bandages.  
"You look better." He whispered.  
"I'm not." My voice came out muffled by the mask. "I definitively am not better."  
My sensei sighed and looked down, he knew what it was like to be broken on the inside; I could see it, everybody could. There was something inside of him that made him aware of the pains of this lifestyle; something that was breaking him too, it was that something we all had that grounded us, that told us that shinobi life is not easy.  
"I'm sorry I couldn't spare you this, Hiromi. I really am. I won't let it happen again."  
Even if I felt like crying, I forced myself to look at him in the eye. He was making a promise, he was showing he cared in the only way he could think of. This was my sensei, my ally, my friend; and he was worried. I dried my unshed tears with my bandaged hand and straightened up a bit.  
Shinobi before me had come back from this. I wasn't the first and I would definitively not be the last. I couldn't let my sorrow drown me, I would come back from this stronger than ever. I had support, I had friends and now a family and a reason to fight for. For the first time in my life I had a home, and it would not be taken away from me, not if I could help it.  
"Please don't give up on me sensei. I'll do my best." Somehow I managed to make my voice steady, and even with such little accomplishment I felt a little bit better. Naruto smiled widely.  
"It won't be easy, that I promise. And who knows? You might even be able to use your new image to intimidate the enemy." He said pointing at my face.  
I was able to smile a little under my mask. Maybe one day, but I'm pretty sure it won't be anytime soon. First I have to pull myself together.  
…..  
My hands were cuffed and attached to the wall. My head was hanging down, no strength left in my body to even consider straightening up. A door opened and closed.  
"Well don't you look lovely as usual?" the voice I had come to fear sounded loud and clear in the small room.  
"You already know the drill," he dragged a chair from the corner and sat down "Spill. I want names, plans of action, and the place they are hiding in."  
Every time he asked something in his sessions, I would chuckle, snicker or come up with some witty comeback; but after a day and a half of being left in there to bleed out in agony, my fighting spirit was fluttering. I can't break, not now, not after everything. I'll survive this if only just to spite him. But even with that resolution, things were going from tough to unbearable.  
"Fuck you." I managed to mutter, not even bothering to try and look up.  
I was tired, I wanted it to end. He had taken away my will to live; my will to fight. I wanted to give up and die already, most times when he came into the room I wondered why I even bothered restraining information anymore. But then Mizuki would be his horrible disgusting self and I'd try to fight back just to make his life a tiny bit harder.  
"Just kill me already and save us both the trouble." I added. My breath was ragged and breathing was becoming increasingly harder.  
Mizuki laughed. Out of all the things he could have done, he laughed. It surprised me so much I looked up at him from my uncomfortable position. His expression was so smug it made me sick. He had stood from his spot on the chair and was now on one knee right in front of me; holding a set of pliers close enough so that I could see in spite of the dim lighting.  
"Oh honey, I'm just getting started."  
My eyes shot open. The room was still dark, and the steady beeping of the machine to my right, connected to my arm; told me that I was still in the hospital wing. I sighed. Good I'm home, I'm safe. Mizuki's not here. I tried to sit up and with a little effort I was almost successful, when a hand on my shoulder stopped me. No. No, no, no, no. for a brief second I saw cold brown eyes, black hair and a wicked smile.  
My body reacted before I could assess the situation. I grabbed the person's wrist and twisted it forcefully, but before I could do anything else, the person spoke.  
"Hey, it's just me, Hiromi."  
It took me half a second to recognize the voice, and realize it wasn't the one I used to hear back in that dark room. Brown eyes turned black with a soft gaze; and hair the same color that I was so used to see up in a ponytail, was now down. With his face framed like that, his bone structure seemed sharper than ever, but that was undoubtedly a face I knew all too well. Shikamaru stood by the bed, holding my wrist to prevent me from breaking his. Just as fear had come, it disappeared and turned into guilt.  
"You shouldn't push yourself like that. Take it easy or your wounds will reopen."  
My team mate made no sound as he walked across the room to get a chair and place it beside my bed.  
"You'll have to work on those reactions of yours; you don't want to go around invalidating our medics, now do you?"I stayed quiet and looked down to my hands.  
He wasn't just making light conversation; he was warning me. I had the strength and ability to hurt others, and I should be more careful. I looked up at his face; the fact that my own was uncovered, completely escaping my mind. Why is he here in the middle of the night?  
"I was just checking on you. Sakura said you weren't in the most stable state. Judging by what just happened I'd say she was right."  
I'm a nuisance; I'm making more trouble than I'm worth. I had to overcome this and fast. I was no help to anyone in this state; in fact I was more of a threat. I still had my body (complete for the most part), I still had my will to fight and there was more commitment to the cause now more than ever. I just had to learn to keep my troubles inside and affect others the least I could so everyone could concentrate in their own work. This is for me to solve and me only. This is no one else's problem, just mine.  
"Just focus on getting better, we need you. Besides getting a new team mate this late would be troublesome. You're in for life now Junsei."  
I opened my eyes once again and thought I could see the ghost of a smile in Shikamaru's lips. I nodded sharply.  
I promise.


	13. The Loudedst Silence

“She hasn’t spoken in a week.” The nurses outside the door to my room had been quietly muttering to one another for a while now, just not as quietly as they thought. “Do you think it’s some kind of PTSD? Maybe we should contact the psychiatry ward, they might be able to help.”  
What do they know? They haven’t endured torture for forty eight hours straight.   
People had been starting to notice I was not intending to speak again, and soon enough I’d have to explain myself when they finally called in Sakura. I didn’t really feel like explaining myself; I didn’t feel like I had to. To be honest, after all the entire shinobi force already knew what had happened. It was simple really; my mental issues were mine alone, no one had to be burdened by them except me. I had no right to bother people with them, and I didn’t want anybody sticking their noses in them either.  
It was also a good way to separate my life from what now haunted me. The terrors Mizuki had put me through were not going to leave me for a long while, and even if I desperately wanted to get rid of them; burdening other people was out of the question. It would not be easy; it might have even been harder than going through the actual torture.  
Keeping trouble inside would allow me to deal with one issue at a time: first in the list was re training my body before war caught up to us, then I would focus on my mental health so I didn’t become a liability to my team mates.   
I sipped on my soup and kept eating my dinner and trying to ignore the nurses. They were doing their job after all, it wasn’t like they were gossiping. Either way, their presence annoyed me to no end for some reason. Don’t they have other people to attend? Still, I tried to keep my feelings in check, losing my temper to such trivial things only made me realize how fucked up I actually was.  
……..  
“You need to tell me why you’re not speaking, Hiromi.”   
Sakura was standing by my bed as a nurse checked the progress my back burns had made. After a whole month in the hospital wing I had been discharged, but I still had to go back for regular checkups. My face had scarred completely and yet the marks hadn’t faded, so I’d taken to wearing masks that Sakura brought back from the hospital. My arms and hands had rebuilt all the lost tissue and were now a lighter shade than the rest of my body; it was still very sensitive, but it didn’t hurt any more at least. The lost nails hadn’t grown back though, so the hospital had provided some ceramic prosthetics, turns out doing stuff without nails is thoroughly uncomfortable.  
Most of my wounds had completely healed, except my back. The burns had been too severe for medics to rush the treatment. As a result I was still banned from sparring or body building. I was not recovering at the rate I’d hoped, and my training would keep getting pushed back because ‘my wounds could reopen.’   
“Look, I know you’ve been through a lot, but to stop speaking altogether is not normal and it’s making me worry.”   
I knew Sakura meant well, and I knew she wasn’t the only one I was worrying. Kiba and Shikamaru had been to visit every other day while I still was at the hospital; Naruto had come every day with some story or other about that days training; and the other members of our division had visited more times than considered strictly polite.   
Everything will be fine, trust me.   
I smiled and put a hand on her shoulder. Sakura sighed and looked down to her notepad. She went over what physical activities I could and I couldn’t do, again; and then gave me the all clear to go about my business for the day.   
I just needed to avoid taijutsu and strength exercises and I would be fine. I could still regain my stamina and chakra control in the meantime. I could go to the training area I’d been using for the past week and go on a run, or maybe practicing my aim (maybe go over my katas lightly with Sakura in the hospital).   
Ever since Id been given a clean bill of health, I’d been staying with the only other female in our group. Since I didn’t have a home anymore, or clothes for that matter, Kakashi-thaicho had arranged for me to stay with Sakura and provided me with standard Konoha uniforms and weapons (apart from my ANBU gear which I still had).  
Every day would be the same for the most part. I’d get up early, go get a checkup and then head to the training ground to try and build my stamina back up. I’d train until I couldn’t go any further and then head home. I’d do the dishes and laundry, and start lunch before taking a shower. Sakura would come back and we’d have lunch together before she went back to work and I would go back to cleaning.   
During my hours at the training grounds I’d met most of the shinobi head quarters’ residents, there couldn’t have been more than a couple dozens, but they all seemed to know each other very well. In fact, most of them were close friends with some of the shinobi I already knew, and as a result, I ended up becoming quite close with them too.   
Shinobi head quarters had been bigger than I expected. The facility was an underground military station, everybody had their responsibilities and unlike me, everyone was fulfilling them. ANBU was still operating outside, gathering supplies and man power for the upcoming war. The hospital was running wild trying to organize everything for the medic camps that would be set behind the frontlines, and the rest of the compound was helping the cause in one way or another; most spent hours on end training to be at their peak physical ability when the time came.   
Kiba, Shikmaru and Naruto dropped by for lunch or dinner every once in a while, and every time they would complain or discuss the situation and keep me updated. Nobody particularly minded my muteness, they did have their doubts about the reason I wasn’t speaking; but thankfully no one tried to force anything out of me. They all kept an eye on me, and even though I found it quite irritating at times, it made my heart flutter to think that they cared enough to make the effort.   
………..  
“Okay Kouhai, listen up.” Sensei had dragged me out of the compound for some ninjutsu training. “I’ve been thinking about how we could incorporate your nature to your fighting style, since your hand seals are about as good as an academy student.”  
I smiled and shrugged. He wasn’t wrong, my ninjutsu abilities had been reduced due to the uncooperative attitude my fingers had. For some reason eye-hand coordination when it came to forming seals went out the window as soon as I tried to pick it up, which left me with a lot of unreleased chakra and an even bigger amount of frustration. To me, ninjutsu had always been the most exciting aspect of shinobi life, so not being able to perform it was a huge blow to my ego.   
“So I thought: why not make taijutsu moves your seals? I’ve heard of people using dance moves to create seals, so it should work. I asked Kakashi sensei and he thought so too. So that’s what we are going to do from now on.”   
The idea of actually being able to produce fire with my body and using it during a fight appealed to me way more than it should have. A wild grin appeared on my face, conveying my opinion on the idea right away. Naruto obviously noticed and chuckled at my expression.   
“It’ll be rough training, and we might not perfect it in time; but I don’t want you out in the battlefield without an ounce of ninjutsu in you.”   
It was little things like this that made me realize that, at last, I’d found a place to belong to, somewhere people cared and tried to help put of concern for me. These people had appeared in my life, and turned it upside down. I had always been told they were monsters, mercenaries not to be trusted; and in the end they turned out to be everything the civilian compound was lacking: good people.   
“Okay, let’s get started. The war won’t wait for us to be ready.”  
I adjusted the mask covering my face and slid into a fighting stance. My sensei did the same and with that, we started our warm up spar. For Sensei’s idea to work, the person had to have an affinity to yang release (the physical half of energy that constitutes chakra) which I happened to have; and the ability to synchronize it with fire nature chakra and taijutsu katas.   
Considering that I already had a few jutsus down (even if they were d and c-ranked) all I had to do now was learn to channel my yang release and time it correctly with each move. It sounded fairly easy, until it was time for me to pull it off.   
I had decided that I’d compartmentalize each part of the process, perfect it and then when I had all three down, I’d combine them and hopefully come up with a somewhat agreeable result. Of course it was easier said than done. I was used to channeling my chakra, mixing both yin and yang releases to form life energy. Turns out separating both energies when your body’s been trained to mix them, was like trying to swim against the current.   
It took me three hours to be able to tell the difference between them, and another two to be able to separate a minimal amount of it. It was tough work, even if I wasn’t running around fighting my sensei. In fact, chakra depletion was way worse than plain exhaustion, since building up chakra reserves took its sweet damn time.   
It was at least a week before I could produce enough yang release to be able to consider trying out fire release. My first attempt wasn’t quite as much a failure as I thought though. I managed (somehow) to produce a tiny flame off my clenched fist. I didn’t even notice at first, but according to Naruto, and then confirmed by Sakura, I’d burned his side during one of our spars.   
From then on, I kept having progressively less trouble combining all three elements, managing to produce little flames as I went through my katas on my morning practices. It wasn’t easy, but as time passed I realized that it took less and less of my chakra to pull off the technique. According to Taicho, this was due to my affinity to yang release; and since I had a naturally big chakra well, the combination of the two made it an ideal technique for me to use. 

I put my hands on my knees, panting and trying to support my own weigh. I tried to catch my breath as my sensei did the exact same thing. Training with firestyle ninjutsu indoors was not a good Idea, and what made it worse was that our uniforms were long sleeved. We had been at it for a while, we were both on our undershirts sweating buckets. After a month of training, theorizing and making adjustments in almost every kata I knew; we had managed our goal. We had managed to turn katas into ninjutsu seals, so now we were trying to train my body to use the modified moves, and make flames come out of the tenketsu points designated for each kata.   
I heaved for air and watched sweat droplets hit the mat beneath my feet.  
“Oh, come on Junsei. I know you’re not out of chakra yet. Just ignore the heat; it is your chakra nature after all. Woman up and build a tolerance.” Joked the sweaty blond in front of me.   
The thing about my fire release was that since it only used the yang portion of chakra, it consumed very little energy; therefore if I still had stamina left to fight, I could keep going.   
“Come on Hiromi, if you are suffocating that much under the mask then take it off.”   
Naruto tended to throw these types of comments at me, tasting the grounds to see if I was making any progress. I knew what he was doing, and he knew I was aware of it; but he didn’t seem to care. To him, the fact that I wasn’t talking hat hit the hardest; he felt responsible, as my superior, for everything that had happened. Let’s just say he knew thet if I wasn’t speaking then things weren’t getting any better.  
I shot him a cold glance that definitively did not need words to convey my answer.   
For some reason the topic of my mask always seemed to rile me up. Scratch that No wander I was a pissy little shit; my face had been scarred for life, I just had to get over it as soon as possible. And so our training continued. It was time to stop complaining, to stop being a brat; when I was deployed I would go through worse things than sweat and a provoking sensei.   
I motioned him over with a hand, taking my offensive stance once again.  
You asked for it Uzumaki.  
And with that we jumped back into action, with fire assisted assaults and a whole lot more of sweat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm sorry for not posting that often, I've been sitting for finals this week; but thankfully thats over and done with now! I'll try and continue to edit and post as many chapters as I can until I'm done. But for now, have some very frustrated, scarred and awefully stuborn Hiromi.  
> Thanks for reading and see you next chapter!  
> Bruce Rosie


	14. Pull Yourself Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize in advance for the extremely short chapter! I'll update one or two more so I can make up for that. Thing is, when I first wrote this story all I wanted was to get to the good part, I giess I still do; hence the length of this chapter. I hope you are liking the story so far!   
> Bruce Rosie

“I thought I explicitly told you to stay away from all out taijutsu spars! It’s okay if its light training or katas only, but not this! Why won’t you ever listen? I am the medic here!” Sakura had been going on a rampage after she caught sensei and I sparring.   
Poor Naruto earned some nasty punches to the head, courtesy of the kunoichi. I made the hand-signs for ‘running out of time’ and instantly realized what a bad decision that had been. There was nothing Sakura hated the most than being ignored for the sake of impatience. Let’s just say we were there for a while until duty called and my shishou had to leave for the hospital wing for an emergency surgery.   
I was packing up my gear and getting ready to leave, when sensei spoke.  
“Hey, Hiromi?” I turned around to face him and was caught off guard by his serious expression. “I don’t want you using the mask while training with me.”  
I just stood there, staring at him.   
Fuck no.  
I was not taking my mask off, Sakura’s startled face when she saw me first thing in the morning was more than enough rejection, I didn’t need my Sensei to recoil everytime he saw my face too. I shook my head no with decision.   
“It was not a request Hiromi. Not hearing your voice is bad enough, I don’t need you to shut me off entirely too. It is not a good coping mechanism.”   
So that’s what he thought I was doing? It was partly true I guess, not speaking was my way of shutting off the world; but the mask didn’t have the same purpose, I was simply hiding. I shook my head once again, determined not to give in; kind of analyzing what the odds were if I tried to hightail it out of there. They were not good.  
“It was an order, Junsei.”  
Why was he doing it? Did he want to see my face badly enough to pull rank on me? Why was it so important to him?   
Either way it didn’t matter, I couldn’t ignore a direct order from a superior; and so with crap ton of fear, I took off the mask. I did it in a flash, and pulled the hood of my jacket over my head as fast as I could, trying to postpone being seen. But even then, still covered by the hood I could feel everything. I was painfully aware of every scar, every scratch, every new imperfection plastered forever on my face.   
But Naruto wasn’t having any of it. Before I could sprint out of the place, his hand closed in on my left arm and stopped my retreat.   
Just let me leave. Please.  
But damn Kami wasn’t having it either.   
“Show me your face, kouhai.”   
No please, no.   
My vision started to blur with tears as seconds passed.   
Not now, damn it.  
Images started flashing in my mind’s eye. Mizuki’s depraved smile, a blazing hot iron pole, the blade of a knife shining in underneath the red light of a fireplace. And then, I broke.   
Something inside my head snapped, and the hand holding me started to feel like the metal cuffs that had once held me to a wall. Before I knew it, I was moving; my hand grabbed sensei’s wrist and twisted it. I moved my body, carrying Naruto’s arm with me and held it to his back. Meanwhile, my left hand had unsheathed a kunai and was now holding it to his throat. I was terrified, I felt like I was being watched, waiting, patiently biding their time to attack me. They say threatened animals are the most dangerous; I don’t doubt it. If someone had attempted to make a move right then, I probably would have killed my friend. But thankfully it was just us in there.   
“H-Hiromi? Listen, it’s just me Naruto, I’m your sensei.”My grip on his arm tightened and my breath quickened.  
Inside my head, the memory of those two days was still playing.   
You still think they’re coming back for you, eh Hiromi? Mizuki was laughing. You are so naïve, they are shinobi, they are heartless mercenaries. If something is worthless to them, then they dispose of it. That dear is what you are; worthless.  
“Kouhai.” A familiar voice made its way past the memory. “Kouhai, it’s just me.”   
Naruto.   
And just like that, I was back. I let go of my friend’s arm and stared at the floor.   
I almost murdered my friend in cold blood.  
The tears that had gathered in my eyes started to fall before I could stop them. I dropped to my knees and covered my mouth in disbelief.   
I almost murdered Naruto.   
I saw the blond crouch in front of me, his expression completely blank and his hand was holding his left wrist.   
I could have broken his arm and killed him.   
More tears rolled down as I watched the man in front of me intently.   
“Hey, don’t cry. You didn’t do it on purpose. I was wrong to force you to show me your face.” He said handing me a piece of cloth to dry my tears. “Besides it takes much more than that to kill me. I’m okay, see?” He moved his left arm around to prove his point.   
I continued to cry in silence as he sat down cross legged in front of me.   
“It isn’t that bad you know?” he said pointing at my now bare face. “I thought maybe he’d hurt you beyond recognition, but you still look the same to me; Just more badass.”  
I chuckled, he was being ridiculous; there was no way the thing my face had been turned into, was badass. The thought was conveyed through a light punch to the shoulder.  
“I mean it! You could use it to intimidate the enemy. You just have to get used to people seeing you without the mask. Besides there are a lot of shinobi with scars in their faces; some are much worse than yours, so don’t worry you are not the only one.” He smiled softly.   
I just nodded and got to my feet.   
Even if he wasn’t very good with words, Naruto always found a way to convey his feelings; and when he spoke like this, he usually meant every word. I was about to leave when I was stopped again. The damn idiot hadn’t learned the lesson apparently but thank Kami, I wasn’t triggered a second time. My face was suddenly against Naruto’s chest, and his arms were holding me close in the first hug I’d been given in four years.   
“You’re not alone; not anymore. You know that, right?”   
Whatever strength and composure I had vanished and I found myself sobbing against his jacket. I knew I wasn’t alone anymore, but getting my mind to believe that was an entirely different matter. I had almost killed Naruto, and back in the hospital wing I almost hurt Shikamaru too; and now I was sobbing desperately, completely breaking down in the arms of a man I had tried to kill a few moments ago.   
I’ll get better sensei, I promise.  
………………..  
“Okay, first thing you need to understand, is that since you’ve got an affinity to yang release; iryo-ninjutsu will be especially hard for you.” Sakura explained as she poured water into her glass.   
“You do have some basic knowledge, like first aid and the diagnosis jutsu, but it would be very convenient for you to become a little more qualified in the medical field.”  
We were having lunch together that day, someone had volunteered at the hospital to take Sakura’s place in a surgery, so she could have some rest. With the upcoming war, she had been working double shifts for over a week, to try and have everything ready for when the time came. But her lack of rest was starting to notice.  
Most days when she got home late (if she wasn’t spending the night in the hospital wing), I urged her to take naps and eat properly. Generally she complied, but sometimes, when tiredness caught up to her and made her a little too obstinate; I would have to lock her up in her room so she couldn’t keep working. Because Sakura was so busy, I made sure to keep the apartment spotless and the fridge full; so that when she arrived, she could eat and rest without having to worry about maintenance.   
I nodded as she continued to explain the different aspects and methods of iryo-ninjutsu, and which of them would come in the handiest in the battlefield. I kept chewing my food and suddenly realized the extent of Sakura’s passion for medicine. Even when she was almost completely drained, she kept talking and explaining the subject with growing enthusiasm. I envied that of Sakura, the ability to put so much effort and passion into everything she did. I wanted that, to find something I was good at, something I enjoyed and found great satisfaction in doing.  
“So in case someone in your squad is badly hurt, you can stabilize them enough so they can reach us.” The girl in front of me concluded before munching on her rice ball.   
We’d become pretty close in the month that I’d been living with her; and as I watched her eat, I realized that if something were to happen to her I’d be devastated. I could even compare it to the pain I would feel if something happened to Nozomi. And right then; with a pink haired girl with her mouth full of rice, in front of me; I vowed to get my shit together before I got deployed.  
Like hell I’m letting any of them get hurt.


	15. Two Fronts.

Nozomi.  
The civilian population was going all out this time. This was the first full scale conflict since the civil war thirteen years ago, and I was scared senseless. The approach the strategists had taken was a matter of sheer pride, in my opinion. Our leaders hadn’t acted out of concern for our people, but out of plain desire for revenge. Even if the price had been the life of my best friend, shinobi had fulfilled their end of the bargain; but greed and vengeance had poisoned our leaders’ hearts for far too long.  
I made my way past the guards and into the infirmary; piles upon piles of boxes towered across the room and took up most of the free space the place used to have. Our head medic had passed away from a serious infection a couple of months ago, leaving me in charge of the civilian medical corps. It was a huge responsibility, and the position gave me clearance to almost everything concerning the war effort.   
During the month following the declaration of war, four other civilian compounds across the country had joined our enterprise; making our forces even larger. Supplies and weapons had tripled in number too; leading me to believe that these blood thirsty leaders of ours actually had a chance against the country’s former military forces; which scared me to no end.   
While I’d patched Hiromi up in our last moments together, she’d told me why she’d done what she did, and how this had all started in the first place. It didn’t come as much of a surprise when, after that war was declared. It had always been common knowledge in our compound that the people we called ‘strategists’ had once been in the former Daimyo’s council; so the fact that they wanted revenge, seemed quite obvious.   
Ever since my conversation with Hiromi, everything started to make sense, our leaders were trying to restore the Daimyo’s dynasty and return to their seats in the council; and continue to rule over the fire country from behind the scenes. But to be able to do that, they had to eliminate the threat; the only force that could prevent it from happening, shinobi. The pieces of the puzzle had finally come together; and now with our middle man gone, it was up to me to finish what she started. It was the right thing to do after all.   
I made yet another copy of the list with our medical supplies, and updated our head count and weaponry record for the second time in a month. Today was report day; an ANBU operative would meet me in the roof for a full report on the compound’s activities. Somehow, two weeks after Hiromi’s execution, they managed to contact me. Apparently, the possibility of my friend’s discovery had been taken into account, and upon her request I would be made the new informant.   
I was waiting patiently behind one of the green houses when he appeared. Clad in black, grey and blue; was Tiger. He didn’t talk much, ever; but when he did it was in a monotone, almost drone-like voice. I didn’t know what he looked like, since he always wore that (quite terrifying) mask.   
“I hope the report is as detailed as usual, Nozomi-san.”  
He might have had that cold unemotional aura to him, but he had never come across as a guy who thought highly of himself or that would look down on me for being a civilian. He treated me as an equal, and for that I was glad.   
“As detailed as I could manage; Shinobi-san.” I said as I handed him the scroll with my report. “Numbers and provisions increased exponentially, our weapons supply as well. Makes me think this corrupt place of ours might have a chance.”  
Tiger examined the scroll in silence as I spoke, but I knew he was listening, he always was.   
“And I know I’ve mentioned this before, but when the conflict starts..”  
“..Please do not attack the medical camp. Your request has already been approved, but we will still keep an eye or two there for your sake. We can’t have our informant disappearing on us.” He interrupted and started to roll up the scroll.   
That last part, about me disappearing; had been a threat, a slight one, but it was clear that even if I tried, I couldn’t betray them; not that I wanted to anyway.   
“Nozomi-san, although in war it would be strategically wise to cut down the enemy’s medical camp, we are not looking to eliminate civilians; we are trying to make amends. This conflict is just a necessary evil.”   
He pocketed the scroll in one of his back pouches and turned to face me again.   
“Whenever you get the location for the medical camp, please report it so that we’ll be able to contact you during the war. I will be back for the next report in a fortnight.”   
And with that, he vanished. He had been avoiding the conversation that came next for a while now. After our exchanges, I would always ask about Hiromi. Was she given a proper burial? Who had attended the ceremony? Could he put some flowers in her gravestone for me? But every time, he would ignore my questions or give me an overly vague answer. I could understand the secrecy, we were on different sides after all; but it would have been nice to have a little peace of mind knowing my friend had been given the treatment she deserved.  
Hiromi’s death was still something that clouded my days, but that was exactly why I was hell bent on finishing what she’d started. She’d been executed for the sake of peace, and even her final act of duty had been betrayed. The least I could do, was to fulfill her last wish. I owed it to her, after all she had given her life to prevent war.  
Hiromi.  
Nozomi stood still as Sai left her on the roof and came to our encounter. She hugged her chest and shivered in the cold wind before turning to go back inside the compound. Lately I had found myself missing her more; but the fact that she thought I was dead was the main reason I couldn’t see her.   
“She’s quite competent. She would make a good infiltrator. Her reports are extremely detailed too.” Commented Yamato beside me. “After all of this is over, maybe we could recruit her.”  
I smiled at the thought. Nozomi might have agreed to be combat trained, but she’d never work as an active agent on the field; she hated unnecessary violence. I conveyed the thought through signs.   
“Such a pitty.” Muttered Captain Yamato in response.   
Once Sai caught up to us, he handed the scroll to our team captain for the day and we started our trip back to HQ. I had been on Sai’s escort team for the last two exchanges, and seeing Nozomi being so cooperative put my mind at ease every time. If she kept this up, when the conflict started, she would be protected as an asset, she would be safe. The information she was providing us with was priceless too; because as the head medic she had access to every high ranking meeting, which gave us a direct source to the enemy’s strategies.   
We made our way past the guards posted at HQ’s main gates, nodding in greeting as we went in. security had been tightened in the past month, and with the increasing number of shinobi in the compound it was a reasonable thing to do. Ninja from other compounds in the country and even some from outside the country, were being sent here. Communication lines had been busy for a while now too, and since our compound had been put in charge of the war effort, things had been busier than ever.  
“The commander asked to be given a report as soon as your team arrived, Yamato-san.”   
One of Kakashi’s main assistants approached us as we took the stairs down to the main hall.   
“Captain Yamato is to be there, but Sai and Hiromi-chan were called down to the hall for squad reassignments in thirty minutes.”   
I nodded and bowed at the guy (Izumo I think it was) before complying. Because of our increasing numbers, squads would be broken down and reassigned according to the abilities and fighting style of each shinobi. Teams for special opps would be handpicked, but the regular troops would be assigned randomly. As a former member of the civilian compound, I would probably be put in the special opps division in order to protect and use any extra information we had on the enemy; but I don’t think I would have minded if I wasn’t.   
The results were posted on a board hung in the main hall, and the list was extremely long; but after a few seconds of looking, I found my name.  
Junsei, Hiromi: Team N* 5.  
Special Opps.  
Team Leader: Hyuga, Neji.   
Hyuga, huh?  
I had the slightest memory of that name. Sakura-shishou had mentioned the it as one of Konoha’s funding clans, during one of her history lessons. Apparently, they used a special fighting style that blocked Tenketsu points and prevented their opponent from channeling chakra. They were presumed to be lethal. They were supposed to have some type of special ability involving their eyes; according to Sakura, they enabled the Hyugas to see through things and across long distances; that was how they located their oponent’s tenketsu points.  
“Oh man, I knew we’d have it rough with Shikamaru in the war council! But this is way too much.” Kiba had appeared next to me and was looking at the list with a slight pout on his face. I followed his gaze and chuckled.   
Inuzuka, Kiba: Team N* 5.  
Special Opps.  
Team Leader: Hyuga, Neji.  
“Ididn’t know being on a team with me made you so miserable, Kiba.” I signed.   
The brunette groaned in exasperation, which made me burst in a fit of giggles.   
“It’s not you I can’t stand, Junsei; you’re okay. It’s Neji, who’ll make me miserable.” He huffed.   
“Well, I can see why you’re still a special jonin then, Kiba.” I turned to see who’d joined our conversation, and was quite shocked at the man standing in front of me.   
He was very pale, his brown hair was long and tied in a loose pony, falling down his back; his forehead covered by his Konoha hitai-ate and his eyes were pupil less and the lightest shade of lavender I’d ever seen. He was excessively handsome and had an air of royalty to him that made everyone shrink around him. Had I been a hormonal pre-teen I would have probably blushed.   
“Piss off, Hyuga. You only became a full jonin last year.” My friend barked back, but the new guy payed him no mind.  
“I am Neji Hyuga, your new team leader. It is a pleasure Junsei-san.” Neji bowed politely, bluntly ignoring Kiba’s comments of ‘damn Hyugas’.   
I bowed back at him and offered a small smile.   
“I was informed you were not speaking at the moment, so at some point I would appreciate it if you could run me through some of your signs. Our communication skills need to be flawless for the sake of team work.” I nodded again, a little startled by the gesture.   
He was trying to keep me on my comfort zone. I moved my hands from one sign to another and looked at Kiba for translation. Neji just stood there staring intently at my hands until I was done; as if to memorize every sign.   
“She said ‘thank you’.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry for the short update! I haven't been feeling like writig lately, and I prefere to do it when I feel like I could write something worth reading. I hope this turns out to be worth it, but yeah, sorry and thank you if you've stuck with this story so far, it means a lot.  
> Bruce Rosie


	16. The Battlefield

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING This chapter has mentions of blood, descriptions of violence and other things that might be triggering, please be careful.

Agonizing moans echoed all around, and I could hear bombs going off in the distance; but other than that the place was quiet as a graveyard. On second thought this is a graveyard. I thought while taking a look at my surroundings. The field where I was standing was covered in scorch marks, mined with abandoned kunai and littered with corpses, both civilian and shinobi. The land was completely barren; covered in craters created by previous explosions, half collapsed mud walls, and pools of leftover water of somebody’s jutsu; all dyed in different shades of crimson and brown from fresh and dried blood.   
I looked down at my own appearance; my standard Konoha uniform was covered in mud and blood (which I wasn’t sure was my own); it was also burnt in places where my taijutsu style hadn’t been quick enough to disperse the flames produced by a nearby explosion. I was sure my mask had suffered some too, since I could see some burn marks from the corner of my eye. My hair, though had suffered a major blow; the entire left side of my head had been gazed by flames at some point. I’d had to retreat and try to close the wound in the aftermath, so now I sported a (very dirty I assumed) bandage on my head too.   
I double checked my chakra reserve once again. More than half left, good. I looked at my surroundings again and when I saw nothing, I tried to feel for someone’s chakra. Two familiar signatures appeared on the edges of my senses; Kiba’s I’d already been familiar with even before the war, but I’d had to memorize Neji’s in the small period of time we had before we were deployed.   
“Hiromi, we were ordered to regroup at the rendezvous point before engaging the next wave of assaults.” Our squad leader informed evenly.   
Beside him, Kiba remained silent and unmoving for once. Seems like was can somber up even him. I examined my team mates looking for any sign of injury. Even if he was an exceptional fighter, Neji was just as banged up as I was; but thankfully didn’t seem to be hurt. Kiba on the other hand sported a freshly made gash on his right bicep, which was bleeding quite heavily.  
I started to work on the wound as soon as I saw it. I was the closest thing our team had to a medic, so whatever I could do for them would have to suffice. I’d only had time to train in the medical field for a month and a half before I was sent to the frontlines, but Sakura had made sure that within that month I was able to, at least, stabilize a serious wound.   
None of them spoke as I finished patching up our only long distance fighter, the atmosphere was too grim, and the sounds of battle in the distance didn’t make it any better. For the first time in a while, I hated the silence; it was giving place to unpleasant thoughts in my team mates’ minds and could become a liability when the fighting started once again.  
“Weren’t we supposed to hunt down some guy after we were done here?” asked Kiba as I finished tying up the bandage to his arm.  
“No, Kakashi-san said the surveillance on the place was quite tight, and that he’d rather have us on the frontline and leave that to infiltration.” Answered Neji as he readjusted his Hitai-ate on his forehead. “And I agree, our abilities are better suited here, not in undercover.”  
I smiled and started moving my hands from one sign to another, trying to lift the heavy mood that had settled. ‘And here I thought you’d want the easy way out.’ I glanced at Kiba and crossed my arms, waiting to see if he’d take the bait.   
“Turns out Neji’s grown a pair, who would have thought, right Hiromi?” added the Inuzuka as a doggish smile crept up to his face. And just like that, with the somber mood gone and a new argument brewing between both Kiba and Neji, we exchanged signals and moved out.   
………………….  
I ducked under the armed blow aimed at my head, avoiding the double edged blade by only a few inches. I thanked Kami I’d decided to cut my hair all those years ago. I shifted my stance and aimed a fist to the man’s chest; sending chakra through my arm and out of my body in the form of fire, burning through my opponent’s body and ending his life on the spot.   
I turned around just in time to dodge another blade intended to chop my head off; bending my body and supporting my weigh with one hand on the ground. I used the momentum to throw my left leg up and aim at my attacker’s head. The civilian woman had no time to take cover, and died as the force of the kick broke her neck and the flames that my foot had produced burned her body before it could hit the ground.   
I heard my name being called behind me. I took the katana of the deceased woman and ran towards the source of the calling. Kiba was fighting off three opponents, while attempting (and failing) to cover Neji. Not that the Hyuga couldn’t defend himself, he could; but anyone would have trouble with ten people trying for your head. I huffed in annoyance.   
Just what I needed. I tightened my grip on the katana and signaled Kiba to ‘be done already and back me up’ as I started towards Neji.   
I met the blow of a tanto with my own blade, I didn’t have much experience with kenjutsu, but I could still hold my ground. I moved inside my opponent’s defence and slashed at his torso; creating a clean, deep gash from his left shoulder to his right hip. Kicking away the still struggling body, I turned to behead a woman that was trying to sneak up on Neji.  
In a moment of half lowered guard, the katana was kicked out of my grasp, bringing my attention back to the fight before me. A man armed with only two kunai stood before me, with a sneer on his face that made him look like a rabid dog.   
“Careful kunoichi, wouldn’t want to die for underestimating a civilian.”  
Right then something inside me snapped. After all that I’d been through, after all Mizuki had put me through; after all I endured to avoid war and try to preserve peace; this guy was making very clear that it had all been for nothing. They wanted this, they had started a war because that had been what they wanted. And I had been tortured for nothing.   
Want me to go all out? Okay then, I’ll show you what shinobi can do when they go all out.   
And then, all my worries, my stress; the physical strain, everything I’d endured; made me explode and vicious grin appeared in my face as I charged.  
I jumped over the man’s head and burning him to the ground before landing soundly on the other side. I sprung into action the second my feet touched the ground and all around me chests hollowed and insides melted as my flames consumed the bodies of whoever dared come near me.   
You’re in my way. I would think whenever someone had a little more fighting spirit in them; but they would all perish eventually. I had lost any type of patience or regard for human life; they were keeping me from helping my team mates and they would die for it.   
Neji was still surrounded, and his left leg had a deep cut on it. He was doing his best to try and stay on his feet, but things weren’t looking good. I felt Kiba’s presence behind me, closing up on us and gaining terrain quickly.  
“Kiba get your dog’s ass over here now!” called the Hyuga and after cutting down yet another civilian turned to me. “I’ll tell Kiba to put up a wall, when we’re done, I want you to burn them to the ground.”  
I nodded as I returned to the battle in front of me. Back when I was re-training myself, Naruto-sensei had insisted that I created a fire-style jutsu of my own. We’d gone through a lot of trials and even more burn marks than I could count, but in the end, the most destructive jutsu in my arsenal was born.   
As soon as I saw Kiba’s mud wall go up, I made the hand-seals for my jutsu. I kicked one last civilian out of my way before slapping both my hands to the ground. Suddenly, the ground around me imploded; creating a blast that expanded in all directions at a blinding pace. The sound of the scorching ground around me somehow managed to cover the screaming of the enemy burning to ashes.   
So this is war, huh?  
The jutsu didn’t last long, and when the fire extinguished, I dropped to my knees. Not because of the destruction before me; I’d come to terms with what using my jutsu implied long ago; but the amount of chakra this particular jutsu required, left me almost on the verge of chakra exhaustion. My mask had broken at some point, finally giving in to the bad conditions that came with war; and I could feel very clearly on my face the residual heat of the jutsu.   
When the smoke started to clear, I saw both my team mates emerge from behind Kiba’s half collapsed mud wall and made their way to where I sat exhausted. Good they’re safe. Neji’s left arm was draped across Kiba’s shoulders and he sported a deep frown on his face. Kiba on the other hand was smiling like a madman.  
“I’ll never get used to that kick ass jutsu of yours, Junsei.” He said as I slowly got to my feet.  
I smiled at both of them and started making signs with my hands. ‘Let’s go back, I want food and some sleep.’ And with that, we started our way back to camp. Neji’s leg turned out to be broken too, so Kiba had to carry him on his back for the most part; which was deeply embarrassing for both of them and very amusing to me.  
Our pace was quite slow, since I was nearly out of chakra and Kiba had to walk for two; but we eventually made it to camp without any interruptions. We were received by a pair of medics once we made our way past the watches, they took both Neji and me as Kiba left to the main tent to report on our assignment.   
Our team was given two days off duty in camp, so that Neji could recover before being sent out again (and chakra replenishing wasn’t something that could be rushed either), so we made the most of our time off. I slept and ate for the most part, Neji just rested and Kiba took advantage of his time there and tried to get updates on what was happening on each front.   
It was a productive couple of days, but our peace didn’t last long, because as the sun made its appearance signaling the start of the third day; team 5 moved out and started it’s trip to the frontlines once again. But this time things would be different; this time one of us wasn’t coming back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is another chapter to compensate for the long wait! once again I'm very sorry for disapearing like that!


	17. Grief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING this chapter contains mentions of gore, violence and a major character death. Proceed with caution.

All three of us crouched on the lower branches of the trees surrounding the clearing. We had been sent to attack an enemy camp on the western side of our borders; our aim was to create a distraction big enough to allow four shinobi squads past their defenses. They were intended to cut down a convoy with supplies headed for their main camp, so we had a pretty big detail on our hands right now.   
Some had shot skeptical looks at our superiors when the order had been given; but nobody said a word, it was a direct order after all. But our comrades’ thoughts were clear on their faces, and they all spelled either ‘suicide mission’ or ‘thank Kami I’m not in their team’. But the order had been given; and there was no going back.  
Kiba and I kept watch as Neji used his Byakugan to scout the enemy camp. The sun was setting in the horizon and the sky continued to get darker as our team leader continued to assess the situation. Silence was absolute, except for the quiet chatter emerging from the enemy camp. Their guards were lowered and they were clearly unaware of our presence.   
“We will engage from the north, south and western points of the camp where their defenses are lower; Hiromi will start a fire in one of the tents and draw their attention. That will be our signal,” Neji explained. “Kiba and I will try and cut down as many guards as we can before coming to back you up. You’ll have to lure them out of the woods and into the clearing where we’ll have the upper hand.”   
Out team leader had been using a kunai to draw on the branch he was sitting, as he explained how the plan would go. It was solid, it made sense and considering the number of enemies, it could work. The mission was still something like I’d never done before, and it put me on edge to think what the consequences would be if we failed. But there was no time for that; we would attack just before the midnight change in the guard shifts, and our time was running out.   
With every detail of the plan cleared and out of the way we prepared for the inevitable wait before the time came to move out. Each of us went to their respective positions and just sat in the shadows, contemplating what would come once midnight arrived. All three of us knew it would be tough, we all knew there was a slight chance we wouldn’t survive this; but nobody said anything. We all knew how we felt for each other, and there was no need to say it out loud.  
Our attack was not discrete in the least; that wasn’t the point. Our aim had been to rile them up and provide a distraction for the other squads to get by safely. We succeeded.   
Kunai flew towards me and battle cries echoed across the clearing as the tents burned in the background, illuminating the night sky.   
We put our experience and training to good use as we tried to make a dent in our enemies’ defenses. But our surprise attack soon turned into a desperate struggle to survive long enough to see the break of dawn again. This camp wasn’t any camp either; all the civilian soldiers here belonged to their special Opps division and all of them had survived the previous war; and most of them came from samurai families.  
I lost count of how many people I’d burnt to a crisp, or how many throats I’d sliced. Everything was just a blur in my eyes as my body moved without my mind’s consent, instinct taking the rains and directing my moves for me. There was red, so much red; and the fact that I was the one painting the ground that color, never settled in.   
I could feel Kiba and Neji’s chakra signature somewhere in the clearing, but never got time to check visually. Their life energy was shining strongly inside my senses as they went about their attacks. The place was chaos, and the quiet dead of the night had been filled with battle sounds and the light of fire.   
I had just cut down a woman that had been trying to jump me from behind when I felt it. Kiba’s chakra well started to diminish at a blindingly fast rate. I instantly panicked. Before I knew it I was channeling chakra to my hands and making my way towards his receding light as fast as my enemies would allow it.   
The place was littered with corpses already, and there in the middle of that pandemonium, was Kiba; with a katana through his chest. My mind went completely blank and my vision turned tunnel-like. No. right about now, one would think: Things can’t get any worse now, can they? Wrong. They can; because ironically enough, the person putting a foot on Kiba’s shoulders and roughly pulling the blade out of his chest was Mizuki; and he had a sickening triumphant grin on his face.   
And then, for the first time in six months, I heard my own voice.   
“KIBA”   
I was there in seconds, kicking away Mizuki and breaking a few ribs in the process; I reached my fallen friend. I fell to my knees and channeled chakra to my hands, making the seals for the Mystic palm jutsu with steadier hands than I’d ever had.   
“You’re going to be fine, Kiba. Hang on.” I said, and without another word or care for my own safety, I started to work on him.   
My mind couldn’t think of anything other than keeping the green glow on my hands going and Kiba’s heart beating. And I realized that for the first time in my entire life; I was truly terrified. I mean yes, what Mizuki had put me through had scared me shitless; but this was something else. The possibility of Kiba dying terrified me in every way and I had no idea how to handle it.  
I heard Neji faintly calling my name in the background; but all I could see, all I could think of was how much blood was Kiba was losing, and how fast it was rushing out his chest. I couldn’t stop all of it, the wound was too big and had pierced his left lung. I was running out of time, and I needed to stabilize him enough to get him to a real medic.  
“Hang in there, Kiba. We’ll get you out of here. You’ll be..”  
“Did I have to get stabbed for you to speak to me again?” He interrupted me. “I missed your voice, you know?”  
I tried to blink my tears away because they were starting to cloud my vision, and I still had a job to do.   
“Shut up idiot, I’m trying to avoid having you bleed out.”   
Behind us, the battle continued; Neji was managing to hold off the enemy somehow.   
“It’s a shame I didn’t have more time to hear it. I’ve always loved to hear you laugh.” He continued.   
“Stop it Kiba, I’m not going to let you die.” I pleaded.   
“It’s so loud and obnoxious, but it always makes my day.”  
Kiba’s chakra well was nearly empty by now, and he’d lost more blood than I could keep track of. The only reason he was still able to speak was because I was trying my damn hardest to keep him alive a few more minutes.   
“Tell that smartass Hyuga that if I see you in the afterlife before him, there will be hell to pay.” He said with a tired smile. “And I don’t want you going mute again. Go live for yourself for a change. Build a family, even if I can’t be a part of it.”   
I was sobbing uncontrollably by now.   
You can’t leave me dumbass! You can’t leave me alone again!   
“HIROMI!” I heard Neji call behind me.   
“We need to leave, they outnumber us. I’ll carry..” but I wasn’t listening anymore.  
Because in my arms; Kiba was dead.   
I let the chakra in my hands disperse and just knelt there looking at my friend’s lifeless body. One of my closest friends was dead, and the world would burn for it. I hadn’t known much about his past, or if he deserved to die there; but I didn’t care. He’d been a pillar in my life for way too long, and now he was gone. The world didn’t fall apart, the earth didn’t shatter; but I still felt the blood lust growing inside me. They would all die, whatever we were trying to achieve with this war could be damned; right now they would burn. And when Neji’s hand made contact with my shoulder that’s exactly what happened.   
Hell broke loose.  
I pushed my chakra into the ground and watched as flame burst from underneath the ground around us and consumed everything in its path. A wall of fire and molten rock appeared around us, blocking the massacre that was taking place from our view.   
Back when we were developing the technique, Kiba had named it “Crimson gates of hell” and everyone had thought it was quite the badass name; but now, with his motionless body on my lap and hell rising around us, the name seemed to fit horribly, tauntingly well.   
The heat was unbearable, but I still didn’t get the full extent of it; because at some point, Neji had moved to shield us with his own body. I didn’t notice how sore my throat was either; not until the fire extinguished and I realized I’d been screaming all along.   
Once the smoke cleared I was able to see the result of my rampage. What used to be a hundred meter range, had turned into an area double the size. There were no corpses to be seen anywhere around us; and a few survivors of the attack stayed on the edges of the clearing puking away their fear.   
I wanted them to be afraid, I wanted them to know the consequences to enraging shinobi; I wanted them to know who’d done this and to quiver in fear to the mention of my name. I wanted them to know I was coming for them, all of them; until there was no one left. So, I took off my mask.   
I would have gotten up and come after whoever was left if Neji hadn’t knelt in front of me.   
“I’ll seal the corpse, and then we’ll go back.” He was searching for my eyes, it hadn’t been a suggestion. He knew what I wanted to do, but he also knew I’d be killed if I did. Not that I cared.  
My remaining partner didn’t even bother trying to get me to my feet, he just carried me all the way to camp on his back. None of us spoke, and when we arrived to camp and I was met with Naruto’s worried expression. Dawn was starting to break, and as Neji put me down and my sensei asked where my other team mate was, I knew it was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SORRY


	18. Acquaintances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short short short chapterssssssssss I'm so sorry I'm just really lazy, someday maybe I'll fill in all the holes in this story

I just sat by the fire, staring at nothing in particular; my eyes fixedsomewhere between the burning logs and myself. People in camp kept going about their own business; because after all there was still work to do and places to be. No one spared a second glance to the girl with the scarred face sitting by the fire; apparently it wasn’t unusual to see people going through different stages of grief during the war.  
I had no idea how long I had been sitting there. We had arrived to the camp at dawn, I hadn’t eaten or slept since our arrival; but it didn’t bother me, I wasn’t hungry. Now the sun had risen completely, and my mood had never been more somber. Kiba died less than 12 hours ago, and yet I can already feel his absence clearly. The death of one of my best friends affected only those who had formed at some point a bond with Kiba; but to the rest of the world, to the future, he would be just another casualty in the war.   
It was clearly not a one in a million case, a lot of people had lost their lives even before Kiba had passed, so it was not me they were staring at as they passed by, no; it was sensei, who was sitting right beside me with his arm around my shoulders and his ANBU cloak draped over me. One of the most well known shinobi in the place was in camp and trying to comfort a person they’d never heard of. Shinobi, I’d discovered were just every little bit a human as civilians and loved a little drama or gossip every once in a while.  
Naruto had just come back from the frontlines too; he’d been in twenty different sabotage and infiltration missions before being allowed a break. He looked exhausted, and he hadn’t had a chance to change his uniform, because as soon as Neji told him what happened, he came looking for me. He was still covered in blood I hoped wasn’t his and he had huge shadows under his eyes; yet he was sitting beside me, trying to help me endure my grief. He had gone on a little rampage when he was told Kiba died though. His face dropped and before anyone could realize what was happening he was giving a nearby tree a fair beating.  
I could hear people yelling for him to stop, that he would hurt himself, someone even called Sakura to stop him; I was told it had not been pretty. Some people even looked at him with, not fear no, but caution maybe? I couldn’t really tell since I’d been sitting on the same spot since our arrival.  
When my sensei first saw me (after his rampage was over) he didn’t come to me right away; he just stood there, looking at my face, bare and mask less for everyone to see. It must have been a shock; he was so used to see me with my mask on when there were people around that he couldn’t have expected it. He said nothing though, he took off his cloak and put it on my shoulders; he then sat next to me and draped an arm around my shoulders. He’d arrived a few hours after dawn, and he hadn’t moved since then. None of us had spoken either, we just sat there looking at the flames consume planks of wood in the chilly winter air.   
I hadn’t spoken ever since my last words to Kiba, but that wasn’t unusual; what was unusual and quite worrying was that Naruto wasn’t speaking. He had been known as a loud mouth his entire life, and watching him not speak for so long was quite disturbing in some way. I was worried; and as I contemplated whether I should ask him if he was okay, Kiba’s words echoed in my head. And I don’t want you going mute again… go live for yourself for a change.   
The least I could do was doing as he had asked. I might have not known how to help Sensei, but I could at least show him I wasn’t letting my losses affect my life anymore; they were part of the person I was becoming and in the future they would make me myself; but right now I couldn’t let them stop me. There was still a lot of work to do.  
“You know?” I whispered so that only the man beside me could hear. “He said he missed my voice, and that he loved my laugh.”   
Naruto’s body tensed when he heard my voice, but after the initial shock was over he took his eyes off the flames and turned to look at me with a hopeful gaze; like he was praying it was indeed me who was talking and not just his mind playing tricks on him.  
“Well your laughter’s always been quite contagious.”   
He had a little sad smile on his face as he spoke, but the fact that he answered like I had never stopped talking was something I was grateful for; but his fear was still there. He was afraid that I would stop speaking again, I realized; because as he answered me his hold on me tightened, like he was trying to keep me talking a little longer before I decided it’d been enough.  
“He said it was loud and obnoxious,” I chuckled half heartedly “but that he loved it anyway.”  
I sighed deeply and turned to the fire once again, somber mood back in place.  
“I lost my chance, sensei.” I said as I sank further into his side searching for comfort. “I lost my chance, and it’s not coming back. Kiba’s gone.”  
Neither of us spoke after that, Naruto just held me to him and let me regret my life decisions in peace. He knew it was no use telling me not to blame myself, because it had been my choice to stop speaking and I had to face the consequences of it now. He let me think over everything in silence, my life up until now, what I had lost and what I had left; and how I could protect it. It was a long day, and around noon he got a call from the main tent. He kissed the top of my head before leaving; I wouldn’t see him for a long time after that.   
Sakura came to see me at lunch; she brought some food with her and ate with me. She was doing all the talking and kept saying how sorry she was for what happened to Kiba. She clearly hadn’t been expecting me to answer because when I did, the most dumbstruck expression I’d ever seen appeared on her face.  
“Huh, when did that happen?” she asked before taking a bite of her second onigiri.  
“The first time? Last night before Kiba died. I’ve been trying to ease back into it, since it was one of the last things he ever asked of me.” I answered with a sad smile. “I really don’t want to have this many regrets anymore.”  
She nodded understanding. Sakura had told me once before while we still lived in HQ some of the regrets she had and that she would never forget. She had fought to bring the love of her life back from the darkness but had failed; when he died she regretted not having tried harder. His death had been something that haunted her for years and that she was now learning to accept. Sasuke had been her team mate and her very first love after all.  
After lunch, my friend headed back to the medic’s tent for her afternoon shift. I didn’t see her much since she was our head medic so I was glad I could at least spend some time with her after what happened. She had this calming aura about her; even if she was the strongest kunoichi around, she still had a gentle soul and talking to her about stuff like this always seemed to help.  
Once Sakura left, I decided my break was over. I would have time to mourn for Kiba once the war ended and we could give him a proper burial in Konoha; but right now there was work to do and a war to win. The least we could do for him was to get back what he had died for. I went to one of the free tents and tried to get some sleep; even if we lacked a member, team 5 could still be called upon and sent to the frontlines. If that was the case, sleep deprivation would be my worst enemy while on battle.   
I took my sweet time before reporting back to the main tent, after my nap I’d gone on a run to clear my head and have some last minute getting-my-shit-together. I ran into Neji on my way back, who coincidentally was looking for me. Orders had arrived from HQ; a new team mate had been assigned to team 5.The guy was an ally from Sunagakure no Sato; a jonin who apparently Neji had already met at their chunin exam before the war. His name was Kankuro; he was part of the infiltration and Intel special Opps. He also was the brother of the Kazekage.  
“Konoha and Suna have been strengthening their bonds ever since the last chunin exams; and during the war they were the first to stand by us on the battlefield.” Explained Neji as we made our way through camp and to the southern gate; where we were supposed to meet our new team mate.  
“Naruto and the Kazekage are close friends so Kankuro is a valuable ally. He’s good and will fit with us just fine.”  
Once we arrived to the entrance of the camp, we prepared for the wait that would follow; but thankfully we didn’t have to stand there for long. Within ten minutes, a shadow started moving in the forest before us, and it was headed our way. The silhouette kept its calm stroll towards our camp, moving around trees and avoiding low branches; of course he was aware making quick, sudden moves was not the best way to approach a shinobi camp in the middle of a war.  
The man that emerged from the woods was definitively not what I had expected. He was around my age (twenty three maybe twenty four), and was much taller than either Neji or me. He was clad in black head to toe and had a hood over his head; but what surprised me the most was his face. It was covered in kabuki make up, making him look the kind of intimidating that haunted you in your nightmares.  
“Well if it’s not ghost-eyed dude, long time no see.” He said extending his hand for Neji to shake.  
“And you must be our genin,” He said turning to me and eyeing me up. “I’d tell you not to get in our way, but if you survived the field this long I guess I have nothing to worry about.”  
He shook my hand firmly as if to make me see he was being serious.  
“I am Kankuro of Suna, first division. Infiltration, Special Opps. Pleased to be working with you.” He introduced himself.   
Neji had been silently watching me the whole time, as if waiting to catch my reactions and impressions of the new guy. Except there was nothing to react to, he was average, a little cocky but not rude. We could work together just fine in time, we just needed to get used to each other and our respective fighting styles.  
“Junsei Hiromi pleased to meet you. I look forward to working with you Kankuro-san.”   
I took back my hand and crossed my arms over my chest. His eyes opened widely for just a brief second at the mention of my name.   
“You are Junsei Hiromi?” he asked, disbelief painted on his face clearly.   
“Yeah, why?”   
“You were the one who was tortured and killed before the civilian’s breach of the treaty?” he asked with even more surprise and disbelief.  
It was starting to get on my nerves.  
“Is my face not answering your question clearly enough?” I said irritated.  
What is it with this guy? Has he no tact at all? How was he made a jonin with this childish attitude?   
He suddenly seemed to realize his interrogation was most definitively not making me happy and took a step back, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment.  
“I’m sorry; I just can’t believe I called you a genin.”   
I took a deep breath and sighed loudly, I had to keep my moods in check if I wanted to be able to work with the guy. I shook my head and sighed once again.  
“That’s okay, I am a genin sitll. Just try not to be too pushy and ignore my mood swings and we’ll be fine.” He looked up and smiled apologetically.  
“Roger.”


	19. The Civilian Head Medic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is some Nozomi for you guys, I hope it doesen't suck too bad!

“Time of death: 00.25 a.m.” I said as I took a step back from the table. “Please clear the area and get some rest; I’ll handle the paper work tonight.”  
The other two medics who had been assisting the surgery nodded and started to do as they had been told. I took my mask and latex gloves off as I exited the surgery tent and headed for my own. I still had loads of paperwork to do and a full report to write; because that day was exchange date. A shinobi team would arrive at our camp to retrieve my report on the civilian’s front activities. The report had to be done before they arrived, so that was the first thing I started working on as soon as I made it to my tent.   
I had been reporting to shinobi for over a year now, and had successfully noted all their pet peeves; they were not the patient, understanding type, no. They liked their information detailed, concrete and on time; I never wanted to feel a ninja’s killing intent so close to home ever again. They were strict, but I could understand that; they were secretive, but I could also understand that; what I didn’t understand was how reluctant they had always been about giving out information. I had been asking for stupid, little details about my best friend’s funeral; and they weren’t able to give me even that.   
Going back to the actual exchange, it happened twice a week. It was usually Tiger who came to retrieve the scroll, but lately different teams were being sent to do the job. Maybe he had been given a different mission, maybe he had died; I would never know.  
I had been writing for two hours when a light breeze blew inside the tent and ruffled my hair slightly. They had arrived. I finished writing the last sentence and shook the scroll lightly to make the ink dry faster. I got up from my seat and turned to three new figures I had never seen. Looks like Tiger won’t be returning anytime soon.   
The team was formed by two males and a female. The first guy (and the one who looked the least menacing) was very pale and his pale lavender eyes lacked their pupils. How is that physically possible? Can he even see? The next guy was all dressed in black and his kabuki make up made him look like he was out for blood every day of his life; he even had a something hanging from his back that deeply resembled a corpse. Cute. The last member of the team was a girl, or at least I thought it was a girl, since her whole figure was concealed by a black hooded cloak, and her face covered with an ANBU mask.   
But out of the three it was the girl who was most intimidating. The fact that she was the only female in the team and; skilled enough to belong to the black Opps division was a big ass red flag for me. She was dangerous for sure and I did not want to get on her bad side.   
“Nozomi-san, we are team 5. We are here to retrieve today’s report on Tiger’s place.” Said the pale guy.  
I nodded and rolled up the scroll that had been drying in my hand.   
“There has been an increase in the number of civilian casualties ever since the western camp was burned down and the supplies caravan taken. The strategists are quite desperate and it is starting to show.” I scanned each member of the team for a reaction, but wasn’t surprised when I found none.  
“They haven’t discovered the location of any of your camps for the time being; they are also dead sure you have no knowledge of this camp either. But with the lack of supplies and the constant blows shinobi are delivering, they are grasping at straws; they are bound to make a reckless move if the casualty count increases.” I continued as I tried to avoid looking at them, pretending to be busy with more paperwork.   
These three felt different from the previous teams that I had made contact with; their apparent lack of weaponry made me think that if they had no use for it then I better not do something stupid.   
“As expected, your report is extremely detailed, Nozomi-san.” Said the pale guy as he rolled back up the scroll I had handed him. “We will be back for the next one in three days’ time. I assume you know the procedure should an emergency arise?”   
The question took me off guard. Were they expecting something to happen? The emergency protocol Tiger had given me was quite impressive (at least in my inexperienced eyes); and for me to use it would mean something had gone seriously wrong.   
The protocol consisted of a single scroll which, when opened, created a chakra signal powerful enough to reach the shinobi camp. Should this happen, a team of five shinobi would be sent to provide support and, in the worst case scenario, extract my ass out of there. Needless to say I carried the scroll with me at all times, this was war after all.  
“Hai. Tiger-san taught me how to activate the seal inside the scroll. I have it with me all the time.” Pupil less guy nodded as his partners checked the perimeter outside the tent.  
“All clear, Cap.” Said the guy with the kabuki make up, and after a polite bow in my direction, they vanished.  
…………….  
I woke up to the sound of yelling and people running past my tent. I had fallen asleep on my desk again and scattered papers stuck to my face as I tried to sit up. My neck was as sore as it would ever be, and as I started to pop my joints and back; the door to my tent was thrown open. I rubbed the sleep off my eyes as Kosuke (my second in command) let himself in and set a cup of coffee and a notepad on the desk before me.   
“The eastern post was raided today early in the morning. We are expecting thirty critically wounded men and ten who are stable as one would expect. We’ll have a lot of traumatized patients if the reports were accurate.” He reported as I sipped on my coffee and tried to read the crappy report our communications team had put together.   
I pulled my hair up in a bun and stood up, taking the note pad and my coffee with me.   
“How many hands are available? And how about accommodation?” I asked as the seventeen year old opened the door of the tent for me.   
“Most medics are available, except those monitoring the more critical patients. As for accommodation, we are full capacity.” He rambled as he looked down at his own notepad.  
Even at the tender age of seventeen, Kosuke had been made his compound’s head medic after his senior and teacher had died of old age. He was a capable young man, but he wasn’t a full fleshed medic yet, he had a lot to learn; and that was why he had been put under my command. He was inexperienced and young and had been thrown into war to bear witness to the worst part of it: the inevitable death of most patients.  
It was devastating to hear someone plead for help, to hear them cry out in pain and not being able to do something about it. It was even worse when they asked the medic to end their suffering; situations like that could test anyone’s resolve. It was no walk in the park, but to throw a seventeen year old into all of that was just cruel.  
“Take every patient who can walk or is stable enough to be moved and relocate them. Use the communications tent, the supply tent, mine; whichever you like but get it done. You have thirty minutes.” I commanded dryly as I came to my senses after an awful night’s sleep.  
There was no time to waste pitying the boy; if he was there to learn then I would teach him to the best of my abilities. That was the best thing I could do for him: being an example.   
“Hai.”  
And with that, he was gone.   
…………………..  
Medics were rushing all around the camp, back and forth looking for supplies; clad in robes which instead of being white, had turned red long ago. There was people moaning or screaming in pain as far as the eye could see and as if the massacre that had taken place wasn’t enough; rain was pouring down so hard that it was hard to hear. Patients had been moved before the newly injured arrived, and thankfully we managed to accommodate them all.   
“I want everyone in their best shape, if there is someone who is not confident about their abilities; do us all a favor and stay out of the way.”I said to the whole medics corpse lined before me. “ If something unusual happens then you are allowed to come get me; otherwise handle the situation yourselves. Do your best everybody. Dismissed.”  
Every medic sprung into action, we hadn’t had this many injured since the western camp had been raided two months ago; and dire situations like this one always brought out the best in medics. The expressions of the staff had never been this severe or somber, but they didn’t let their feelings get in the way of the job at hand; and that marked every one of them as exceptional medics.  
“Kosuke, you are with me. Stay close, pay attention and don’t get in the way. If you behave you might be allowed to help.” I ordered my apprentice as I shifted into ‘business mode’ which lately, seemed to be my only mode.  
He answered my call with a firm ‘Hai.’ And I could feel the determination in his voice and the confidence in his step as we made our way into the surgery tent. Good. I thought. I need a medic, not a kid. And with that, our first patient was brought in.  
………….  
“Kosuke, stitch this up for me and then go to bed. Good job today.” I said taking off my mask and patting the boy on the shoulder. “You can take one of the spare beds on the guards’ tent.”  
I took my glasses off and rubbed the bridge of my nose as I made my way out of the surgery tent and into my own. We had all been working over twenty four hours straight and now, we were finally done. A whole fucking day of stitching, patching and restraining people was finally over; and I couldn’t have been more glad. Some of the patients even rambled about some ‘daughter of the devil’ or other and getting them to shut up had taken more morphine than I cared to know.  
I had a killer migraine and as I opened the door to my tent I was relieved to see it was empty. So they managed to fit them all after all. I still had to write my report to the shinobi forces and it would have been quite the issue if I was to share my tent with someone else. I sighed as I sat by the desk and set myself to write the report.   
I put as much detail as my exhausted mind could muster, and then decided it was time for a long awaited nap. I saved tons of lives today I deserve sleep. I was barely conscious when a masked figure entered the tent. They made little to no noise as they moved towards me; and they just took the scroll lying by my head and left. I had no energy left to try and speak to them, but the last thing I could remember as the silhouette disappeared was how familiar their scent had been.


	20. Allies

During the next few months, team five continued to be in charge of the report exchanges. In that time most critical patients had been stabilized, but a lot of them were having trouble getting over what they had seen on the battlefield. The camp was usually calm throughout the day; but as soon as the lights were out, our real work began. Desperate pleads of help echoed around camp as the wounded relieved the terrors of war in their sleep.

The circumstances in each dream varied depending on the patient, but in general the characters were the same. Those patients who had survived the attack on the eastern camp, all dreamed of the same three people; or as they called them ‘demon shinobi’. 

These shinobi, from what I’d gathered were exceptional in their own way.   
The team was lead by a man who was supposed to have ‘ghost eyes’ that could see right through you to your very soul and rip it off your body with his bare hands. He was said to be a reincarnation of a demon who fed on human souls, and whose open palmed strikes ripped a piece of it at a time. 

Another member of this demon team was ‘the puppeteer’. This man was always accompanied by his artificial servants, and who was said to control them with invisible strings. If you were unfortunate enough, he would tie these strings to your soul and use you as a weapon or shield against your own allies. The sole idea of their souls been controlled froze the soldiers with fear.

The last member of this ‘demon shinobi’ was a female. She had received the nickname ‘the devil’s daughter’, and she was the most feared. Stories varied according to whom was the one telling it, but they all agreed on something: she was indeed the daughter of Satan. This fearsome person was said to be able to produce and control flames with her own hands, and if enraged she could open the very gates of hell and let the fire consume everything in its path.

It didn’t really take me that long to match these descriptions to actual shinobi, after all I only knew about one man with eyes like a ghost’s. Team five had been behind the attacks to both the Eastern and Western camps; and they had managed to annihilate their enemies almost completely. Which told me I had been right about them all along, they were dangerous, and extremely so. And whit this came the realization of who I was dealing with and what could happen should I fail to do my job properly.

………….

I readjusted my glasses as I continued to write the last report for the week. All medics had been ordered to prepare for relocation; HQ hadn’t given us any details yet, and I was certain my cover had not been compromised, so the motives for the move were making me quite anxious. The air shifted inside the tent; I didn’t have to turn round to know the envoy for my report had arrived. 

“Just a second, Captain; I am almost done.” I said as I finished writing the last few sentences and blew on the ink so it wouldn’t smudge.

“You are not usually late with your reports, Nozomi-san. Did something come up?” asked the man who had been given the name ‘the ghost of Konoha’. 

“Well Taicho, usually I don’t have to deal with these many traumatized people at once.” I said with a grin. The guy pretended not to understand for a second, but I knew he had taken the hint.   
“It would be nice if you three could tone down the intimidation factor a bit. It’s making my patients crazy and all of us medics could use a good night’s sleep.”

The puppeteer in the kabuki make up chuckled and whispered something that sounded suspiciously like ‘busted’; but before anyone could answer, the girl in the ANBU mask made three quick signs with her hands and they all moved at once. I didn’t have time to ask what was going on, because within seconds, the door to my tent flew open and Kosuke rushed in. He was panting so hard, he looked like he would have an asthma episode and the expression on his face was one I could only identify as terrified.

“Orders just came in from HQ. We are not being relocated.” He was still breathing hard.   
Did he run all the way from the comm. tent?   
“We are being deployed, to the battlefield.” He finished, his expression begging for me to fix the situation.

Of all the stupid decisions they could have made, this is definitively the worst.

“What?” my tone was not friendly, in fact it was the sort I used when somebody fucked up and somebody else played the price. It was my explain-your-self-right-fucking-now tone.

“They said most soldiers died before reaching the camp and that in order to reduce the number of casualties all medics would be deployed to the field.” Explained my subordinate in panic. I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled at the roots in desperation. Just what I needed.

“None of the medics in this camp is combat trained. If we die there will be no one left to heal the soldiers: it’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard.” I let my body fall heavily on the chair by the desk and sighed. 

“Why did they not consult me before making this decision?” 

Kosuke reddened and looked down while scratching the back of his neck. I sensed something was off; he knew I wouldn’t like the answer and he was stalling. I kept glaring at him until he budged under my gaze. 

“They thought and I quote: ‘a woman like Nozomi-san would not understand strategic measures like this one.’” My fist came down on the desk with full force, making everything on it shake.   
Kosuke flinched and looked away; he seemed to realize it was no time to talk, and so he kept silent until I could give him an answer.

I took off my glasses and rubbed my face tiredly. It had been a long day, and an even longer year since the start of the war, and stress kept piling up with each day. I sighed.

“Relay the order to the medics; I’ll try to come up with something by the time we are deployed.” Kosuke bowed and in seconds he was gone.

Well now we’re fucked for real. 

I smiled up tiredly at the shinobi team as they came out of their hiding spots.

“Any advice?” I asked. 

I was completely drained; I had no energy or ideas and the situation was proving to be too much for me to handle. It had been a long day and it seemed to become longer every time I checked.

“We need to report this back at Main Camp. We’ll make sure to send a team to monitor the move and guard you. For the time being be patient, do whatever you can for your staff and we’ll take care of the rest. Just hang in there.”   
I just covered my face and nodded; unable to give any other response. I didn’t have to look up to know the ‘demon shinobi’ had left the tent.   
I just hope they can come up with something, because otherwise, we’ll all be dead as soon as we set foot in the field.

…………

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

I was panicking; my brain wasn’t working properly and my mind was blank with fear. All I could think about was how dead I would be id I didn’t get out of the line of fire soon. A bomb went off somewhere nearby and the ground shook with the force of the explosion. 

Shitfuckshit.

I continued to swear as I tried to get back on my feet and keep running. But before I could continue with my escape I heard people moaning and crying out in pain. I attempted to ignore the agonizing people somewhere nearby, but my conscience wouldn’t let me.

You have to be fucking kidding me. 

Sometimes I thought maybe I was too good; if I kept acting like this I would die for sure. But for some reason my body didn’t seem to care. Before I knew it, I was crawling out of the ditch I’d been hiding in, and running to the closest wounded man. 

Why am I even doing this? I’m worth nothing if I’m dead.

I reached my destination within seconds, adrenaline fueling my movements and making them faster. The man had been stabbed in the leg with a kunai. The blade was buried to the hilt and carefully aimed at the femoral artery. If I didn’t do my job properly the man would be dead in seconds. 

“Oh thank Kami, you’re a doctor!” said the man upon seeing the green band on my left bicep. 

“Don’t thank me yet” I said taking off his belt and using it as a tourniquet and tying it around his leg a few inches above the wound. “If I do this wrong, you’ll be dead.”

When I was done with the belt I started to take the supplies I needed from my bag. I worked in silence as the sounds of war echoed in the background. Another bomb went off somewhere nearby, showering us both in debris. I had to hurry; if the man didn’t die from blood loss then we would both get killed by something or someone else. 

When I had everything set up and ready, I looked at the man. Fear was clear in his eyes, but so was determination. He didn’t want to die; and neither did I. He nodded; and that was enough consent for me. I yanked at the blade in his leg and threw it aside as I tried to slow down the bleeding before sewing the wound. I managed to get it under control and secure the man’s life for the moment. It took some time and a lot of effort (working under stress is a medic’s job after all), but I was able to stitch and patch up my patient without much loss of blood. 

“Go hide in that ditch,” I said pointing to the place where I’d been hiding up until then. “Someone will find you eventually.”

I packed up my supplies as fast as I could and threw mu bag over my shoulder before strapping it safely back on. I didn’t hear the man’s reply, because as soon as I was done getting my stuff in order I sprinted away and across the battlefield. 

There was a battle going on ahead and the civilians didn’t seem to be doing well; in fact it looked like they were getting massacred. I crouched behind a boulder and prayed they would be done so I could be on my merry way. 

I was about to take my chances and run to the closest injured, when a soldier appeared out of nowhere and ran into me. I got the air knocked out of me when I fell and as I was reaching out to him, time froze. His eyes were wild with fear and his body shaking with adrenaline; he opened his mouth to say something, but then it happened. 

A wooden monster came from behind the boulder and took the man by the ankle. It looked like a mixture of a human being and a cockroach, it was absolutely terrifying and it towered over us like a live predator. Before I had a chance to react the thing dragged the man with him and out of my sight. All I could do was sit there stunned and horrified as the man who’d been captured screamed in terror somewhere nearby.

Before I could pull myself together, the screaming stopped, and from behind the boulder emerged a man clad all in black; with the wooden humanoid in tow. I was about to hightail it the hell out of there when I recognized the person before me. It was the kabuki man from team five. And as my mind put two and two together, I realized that the thing beside him was a puppet. 

“Well if it isn’t Nozomi-san? I guess they were stupid enough to send untrained medics to the field.” He said as he offered me a hand and helped me up to my feet. 

I snapped out of my daze and immediately started to look for injuries on the ninja before me. I found none. I then shifted my gaze to the wooden construction. It was standing on its own two feet like it had life of its own. 

“How do you control it? I don’t see any strings or wires...” I asked as I continued to scrutinize the thing before me. 

“I’d love to explain the wonders of chakra threats, but...” he trailed off as he looked down to his watch. “My team should be here soon and I need to take you somewhere safe.” 

Before I could protest, I was on his back and moving to a speed that should not have been possible or human. Within minutes we were out of the clearing where the battle was being held and into the woods. 

“You should be out of her range here,” he muttered to himself as he put me down. “You can treat anyone who makes it this far, but for the love of Kami do not set foot on that clearing.” He said pointing a finger at me, and didn’t look away until I nodded.

He was usually the comic relief guy in his team, and for him to be this serious the situation had to be terribly dire. 

“Thank you...” I trailed off.

I then realized that I didn’t know the name of any of the shinobi I’d ever made contact with and felt slightly disappointed.

“Kankuro; Puppet master of Sunagakure no Sato.” He smiled.  
And without another word, both puppet and puppeteer rushed back into the clearing and back to the line of fire.


	21. For the First Time and Once Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING gore, violence and a lot of blood is mentioned, please be careful.

I tied up the bandages I’d wrapped around a man’s arm (or what was left of it). The poor soul had been way to close to a bomb and had I not been there, he would have bled out. Very few people managed to make it all the way to the tree line, but I was careful to treat every single one that did.  
I dried the sweat off my brow and sighed. I was running out of supplies and the battle behind us didn’t seem to be ending any time soon. The number of wounded people kept increasing around me and if the battle didn’t come to an end, then I would have very little to do about the soldiers’ wounds, it’s not like I could bandage them with their own filthy uniforms.  
I stood up with some difficulty, it had been over twelve hours since Kankuro had left me there and another twelve since I’d last had any sleep; and I was starting to feel exhaustion taking its toll on me. I made a couple of rounds before tending to the newly arrived. A man stumbled into the tree line from the general direction where the battle was being held. And to put it lightly, he had had it pretty rough; even more so than most.   
The man’s face had been completely burnt, taking away his sight along with most of his skin. He was moaning in pain as he muttered under his breath, trying to make his way around without walking into the trees. He was still holding on to his kunai like his life depended on it and used his left arm to guide himself inside the maze that were the woods.   
He was slowly walking past the little group I had healed and deeper into the forest. I decided to follow him and guide him back towards our little camp, but I later realized than not calling him out before approaching him, was the worst mistake I could’ve made. People, just like animals, are very dangerous when wounded or threatened; even more so when they are blind. It was a lesson I hadn’t learned up until then and that I would later carry with me for the rest of my life.   
I grabbed the man’s wrist to try and guide him, but immediately realized my mistake. The man turned around sharply and threw me to the ground. He tightened his grip on the kunai and threw himself on top of me.  
“You will not kill me filthy shinobi! You might have taken my eyes but I won’t be going down so easily!” He yelled as he tried to stab me with the blade.  
“I’m a medic, I swear I just want to help you!” my voice kept filing me despite all my efforts.  
“Sir, Please!” I cried and kicked the man’s wrist, sending the kunai flying behind him.  
We continued to wrestle, each of us trying to get the upper hand. But there was only one way things could go; the man was an experienced soldier, and even when blind, his instincts were a hundred times better than mine. Within a few minutes he managed to outmaneuver me and put his hands around my throat. He was aiming to crush my windpipe, and was finding very little resistance in my feeble attempts to break free.   
Tears started pouring out of my eyes as I felt my throat closing in on itself, preventing the air from getting through to my lungs. Please. I sent a prair to whichever deity would listen. I don’t want to die here; there’s still so much I want to do. I felt my consciousness begin to slip away and the edges of my vision started to blur.  
And then; I could breath.  
The pressure around my neck gave way and air suddenly rushed back into my lungs. I couldn’t help but lay there for a while, gaping like a fish out of the water. It took some time for my breath to even out, but even then I just continued to lie on my back. A light breeze was making my hair sway a little and the grass beneath me tickled my hands and neck. I’m alive. I didn’t realize I had closed my eyes until I saw a shadow move behind my eyelids.  
I wanted to see who had saved me; I wanted to know who I owed my life to, so I opened my eyes. Crouching next to me was a man I had never seen, clad in a uniform that was all too familiar. He was a shinobi, and he was part of the ANBU black Opps. He was very pale, as if his skin had never seen the sun; and his eyes and hair were the darkest shade of black I’d ever seen. But I only recognized him once he spoke.  
“I thought you were smarter than that Nozomi-san.”  
His voice was one I’d heard countless times, one I had been associating to a mask ever since we had first met. Tiger had never been one for kind comments; but for some reason, knowing it had been him who saved me, brought tears to my eyes. He’s an ally, he won’t hurt me. His presence put me at ease immediately. I knew how capable a shinobi he was, and to have him guarding me was a huge relief.   
“I thought you were dead.” I chuckled as I dried my eyes and tried to sit up. “You never came back.”  
My voice was hoarse and my neck felt like it could snap any second, but I just wanted to get away from the fresh corpse beside me. I didn’t dare to look at it, it was still bleeding; and the fact that it had almost made a corpse out of me made me shiver. Tiger helped me sit up and took some bandages out of his hip pouch.   
“I was assigned as your personal guard once the war started; you would be surprised at the amount of assassins that were sent after you.” He said wrapping the fresh linen around my still tender neck. “I guess your so called strategists did not like you being close to the former traitor.”  
I looked down to my lap as he continued to work in silence. Well that makes sense, I guess that if they didn’t notice I had a shinobi guard then he covered up for it really well. Then again… I turned to look at him; his expression devoid of all feelings and his clothes roughed up a bit, but with no injuries. He must be really good if he managed all that on his own.   
I felt flattered for some reason. The first shinobi who I’d made contact with had been guarding me this whole time. Even when I thought I had to deal with everything myself, he had been there. He had saved my life more times than I was aware of and with consequences of which I didn’t know either. He had (willingly or not) become my partner in some twisted way, and it made me happy. It made me realize I was not alone anymore; in fact, I’d never been.  
Tiger tied up the bandages and smiled lightly. He stood up and turned towards the clearing, analyzing the battle probably. He looked down at me once again and offered his hand. I gladly took it and with a little more effort than it should have taken, I stood as well. I had to hang on to his arm for support since my head was spinning and I still felt quite lightheaded.   
“Are you okay?” he asked as he grabbed my arm to prevent my fall.   
“Yeah, just a little dizzy, I’ll live.” I said trying not to embarrass myself any further.  
Geez, Nozomi how weak are you? Get a grip!  
“Well” he said turning once again to the field. “I sure hope you are ready, because I’m not the only pleasant surprise you’ll get today apparently.”  
I tried to see what was it that he was looking at; and found out immediately. It was quite hard to miss, and since I had my glasses on there was no way I could not see it. In the middle of the field, surrounded by enemy soldiers was the only female in team five. She was holding her ground pretty well, and even if she was outnumbered, she seemed to be winning. She moved with ease in and out of her opponent’s guards; taking down one, two or sometimes three men at a time. Even without any ‘special abilities’ she was a formidable fighter.   
She was graceful and rough at the same time and she barely needed anything but a kunai to make her stand. But of course she wasn’t untouchable, once in a while appeared an opponent with a little bit more fight in them; and then things got interesting. She would use her flames. When someone lasted more than a few seconds, she made flames come out of her hands and feet, expanding the range of her attacks and successfully cutting down whoever was wasting her time.   
“So that’s why they call her ‘the devil’s daughter’.” I mused out loud.  
Beside me Tiger chuckled.   
“Well it’s quite a flamboyant name if you ask me; but I think you know her by another name.”  
As he said this, a man with a katana managed to make his way around her flames and aim to her head. I grimaced at the close call, but even if the blade had missed; it still got the sting to which her mask was attached. And as the mask hit the ground, the so called daughter of the devil turned around; and the world seemed to stop.   
It was a face I had grown up with, laughed and cried with; and a face I thought had been lost forever. It was a little roughed up by the scars running across it, but it was still very much the same. Hiromi continued to fight off her enemy, now with renewed strength. The concentration in her expression and the fire in her eyes could be seen even at the distance I was; and it made me wonder what had happened that could have made her like this. Something horrible had happened for my compassionate, kind and generous friend to turn into a shinobi as fierce as she was now.   
It was sad and a bit terrifying at the same time; but I couldn’t find it in myself to care. She was alive; my best friend, my sister was very much alive and still fighting for what she believed was right. A sob escaped me and almost brought me to the ground. Tiger tightened his hold on me as I continued to cry with the biggest smile on my face.   
“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you right away, we were all under orders not to risk another leak.” Explained Tiger as I fisted the front of his ANBU vest.   
I shook my head and chuckled. I couldn’t find it in me to care about that; and as I continued to watch Hiromi, I realized how proud I was. She had risked her life, endured torture and nearly lost her life; yet she had managed to become a shinobi, and a damn good one at that. It was a bit terrifying to watch her though; the ease and lack of hesitation with which she took the lives of her opponents were those of someone who had been living the shinobi life since they had been born. It was terrifying because she had done it in three and a half years.   
“You will realize that she has changed a great deal,” said Tiger “but a lot can happen in three years and shinobi life isn’t exactly easy; so be patient, she’s had it rough.”  
I looked up at the shinobi beside me. He had been by her side this whole time, it was quite evident he knew Hiromi better than I did at this point, and it made me a bit jealous to be honest; but I could understand where he was coming from. He was warning me: things were not the same anymore.   
I turned to the battlefield once again. My friend had defeated all of her enemies and was now picking up her mask from the ground. She tied it to her head once again and set off towards where her team was; without realizing her white mask was now covered in her victims’ blood.  
What happened to you Hiromi?


	22. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoooooooort chapterrrr its so boring guys im sorry

To say that I was scared was a huge understatement. I was fucking terrified, and struggling not to run away and never look back. In retrospective it was kind of funny; I had been tortured almost to death, I’d been part of the shinobi war effort for almost three years now; yet the thought of seeing my best friend after all this time terrified me. In my defense I knew I’d changed a lot, and I also knew Nozomi might not like the person I’d become; but it was exactly that what scared me the most. I was scared of rejection, which seemed pretty pathetic coming from a shinobi like me.   
“Hiromi, would you stop fidgeting already? You’re making me nervous. And I have nothing to be nervous about.” Sighed Kankuro beside me. I had managed to annoy the crap out of him apparently.   
“You’re over thinking the situation. It’s not like you did anything wrong either; you know apart from all the killing we’ve been doing...” I groaned loudly and covered my face as if that would be enough to solve the situation.  
That’s it; I’m never going to Kankuro for advice.  
Neji just walked with us in silence; he’d learned long ago that his people skills weren’t the best, and avoided situations like this one as much as he could. But right then I would have rather hear Neji’s analytical opinion on the matter than Kankuro’s failed attempts to comfort me.  
“Kankuro, please don’t try to help anymore.” I said defeated and uncovered my face.  
I turned to our team leader with what I hoped were pleading eyes. Maybe Neji could spare me what was to come. We had been walking around camp for a while before I decided it was time to face the problem head on; but right now I was having second thoughts. We had finally made it to the medic’s tent and all there was left to do was to go in.   
“You’ll be fine, Hiromi. She is your best friend, and a medic at that so she must be reasonable.” Said Neji. “I’m sure that if you explain yourself she will understand; and if she doesn’t it will hurt of course, but it’s not like you don’t have any friends among the shinobi ranks either.”   
Neji’s words did calm me down a bit to some extent; not because (for once) they were kind of affectionate, but because they were true. Even if Nozomi was my oldest friend, she wasn’t the only one; should she reject the person I had become, I still wouldn’t be alone. It would hurt for a while, but in time I could come to terms with it.   
But I was getting really ahead of myself here, Nozomi (just as Neji had pointed out) was a reasonable person, she had always been one of those talk-through-your-problems kind of people; and she would probably understand.   
So I took a deep breath and straightened out my back.  
“All right.” I whispered to myself.  
I went in before I could talk myself out of it. I threw the flap door to the tent open, and what I saw inside was something I definitively was not expecting. When Sai had told me Nozomi was in the medic’s tent, I thought she might have been injured; not helping out shinobi medics do their job. Shizune, the second in medic in command, was amputating a man’s arm and Nozomi was helping her do it; holding the man’s arm down and whipping the blood away so Shizune could see what she was doing.   
And I left the tent.  
My team mates didn’t question my hasty retreat, since it was a well known fact that the only place that could be gorier than the battlefield was the medic’s tent. But it wasn’t the amputation what made me escape, I was relieved. Nozomi was still helping the shinobi effort; even after spending six whole months on the battlefield. It meant she hadn’t seen her extraction as ‘being taken prisoner’; she understood it as safe keeping of an asset. I stopped a medic on his way in and asked him to send out Nozomi when she was done. And then all there was left to do was wait.  
After what felt like hours, the flap door to the tent opened and out came Nozomi; with her glasses on and hair in a very messy bun. She looked exactly the same as always, and it hadn’t been long since I had been part of the team assigned to retrieve her reports, but for her to be aware of who was in front of her now made it feel like it was the first time I’d seen her in years.   
“You fucking coward, what took you so long?” She said, taking a step forward to hug me.  
I had never been one to show my affection; I rarely hugged people or told them how much they mean to me, but I am convinced I never hugged someone so tightly in my life. It was so corny it was embarrassing, we were both sobbing as we hugged, and I’m pretty sure I heard Kankuro chuckle.   
“I’m sorry; I’m so, so sorry.” I said as we pulled apart, and wiped my face with my uniform’s sleeve.   
“I should have told you sooner, I’m sure being told I was still alive after all this time must have been a shock.” I chuckled. Nozomi waved her hand in dismissal.   
“Nah, I’ve known for months now. I saw you in the field before Sai brought me back.” She said taking off her latex gloves.   
“Wow, he must really like you if he told you his name.” I said wondering what Nozomi could have done to earn Sai’s trust.  
“I had to force it out of him; I was quite fed up of the whole ANBU codename situation.” Answered my friend with a light tone.   
Things were still the same; Nozomi was still herself and I (for the first time in years) was too. We were still friends and that was all I cared about, and to be honest I don’t know how I would have taken it if Nozomi had rejected me then.   
“Oh! These two are my team mates,” I turned to introduce my team since they’d been ignored this whole time. “This is Kankuro of the Sand, and this is our team leader Neji Hyuga.”   
Nozomi smiled politely at both of them and extended her hand to greet both shinobi.   
“Yeah, Kankuro saved my sorry ass on the field a few months ago; I hadn’t met Hyuga-san before. It’s a pleasure.”   
Neji bowed like the clan-born snob he was (we teased him about it all the time). Kankuro snickered beside me and tried to cover it up with a very unconvincing coughing fit.  
“The pleasure is all mine, Nozomi-san.”  
“I’m up for lunch break now, care to join me?” asked my friend pointing back to the ration’s tent with her thumb.   
Thankfully, my team was considerate enough to decline the offer and left us to eat on our own; after all we had some serious catching up to do. I had no idea what kind of stress she had to work under as the head medic for the civilians, or what kind of trauma she had after being deployed to the field with no battle experience. And then there was the issue of how to tell her what I had gone through. Everything felt like a dream, it had all transpired too fast and time seemed to have fast forwarded with everything that had happened.   
War had started three years ago; within the first year, Kiba had died at the hands of Mizuki; Kankuro had arrived a week later and after another two the new tam five had been deployed. We had successfully carried out twenty five missions within the next three months, and were now here. Coming home after the twenty sixth.   
We took our share of food and went to sit in a less populated area of camp.   
“Okay,” said Nozomi as she sat on the floor and started to munch on her rice ball. “Spill it; and don’t you dare say ‘nothing happened’ because people in this camp speak quite a lot about you three.” She finished her threat with a menacing finger pointed at my face.   
But I wouldn’t go down without a fight; I would avoid the issue at all costs.  
“Shinobi are far more gossipy than you would expect, huh?” I only received a stern face in return.  
Abort mission, our cover has been blown; I repeat abort mission.  
I sighed dejectedly.  
“Fine, I hope you have time. This is going to be long.”   
………  
“Well, you certainly had it harder than me.” Said Nozomi as I struggled not to cry.  
Kiba’s death was still a very sensitive topic, even after all this time. You know, since he literally died in my arms and all.  
“I’m very sorry you lost your friend. I know the feeling all too well. “She continued putting a hand on my shoulder. “I’m just glad you didn’t have to go through it alone.”  
And that; broke me. Nozomi had to go through the pain of losing her only family all by herself; having broken up with Tora (she told me later had happened right after my execution when he apparently said I had had it coming) and having absolutely no one left. She had then become a shinobi informant, the head of the civilian medical corps, and had been deployed to the battlefield with no previous training. During three years she had endured every situation life had thrown at her and had come out of them alive and well; all on her own.   
And here I was sobbing like a three year old when I had been surrounded by friends and allies the whole time.   
“I’m sorry Nozomi, I’m so sorry.” I said as I hugged her, and vowed to myself that even at the cost of my life; I wouldn’t let my best friend go through life alone again.


	23. Ignorance

Orders had arrived from head quarters; they were short but yet very specific: capture the civilian medical corps and supplies caravan. No casualties unless necessary, and wait for further instructions. Sikamaru and Kakashi had finally come up with a plan. With the medics deployed and scattered; with no way to contact their superiors and no orders to follow (plus their lack of combative experience) the civilian forces were a mess.   
We were to capture the medics and drive the strategists into a corner. With supplies and medical care in the hands of shinobi there were only two courses of action they could take. They could either stay put and actually plan out something to get out of the mess they were in; or they could act fast and without thinking to get the upper hand. We were now counting on the latter; but of course Shikamaru had already thought out a countermeasure if they didn’t.   
So the plan was to corner them and wait. Once they made the first move, our forces would beat them into the ground and we could finally put an end to the war. Of course there was much more to the plan than I could ever explain, since not everybody got to hear the whole extent of the plan (you know, compartmentalization and what not). Neji would probably get the whole plan but Kankuro and I wouldn’t know until we were actually moving out.

Our base camp had been hectic for a few days now, with the preparations for our next big move; people rushed back and forth carrying boxes of weapons and supplies. Even if we were rushing to get ready, we still had to wait for the deployed forces to get back to camp. This next move of ours was meant to be the last one, the one that would define the course of the war and allow us to end it.  
I was thankfully on watch then, I was definitively not in the mood to get yelled at or ordered around; one team leader was enough thank you very much. I sat on one of the highest branches of a tree, some fifty meters from the edge of our camp. I’d been on watch for over twelve hours and lack of sleep was starting to get to me.   
Two more hours and I get a full meal and a well deserved five hour nap.   
I encouraged myself and returning to play with my kunai to fight off sleep.   
Toss, flip, and catch. Toss, hit with elbow; catch behind my back.   
Toss, flip; turn… Is that Sai’s ink bird?   
The blade almost fell straight on my foot in my moment of distraction, but before it could make it, I somehow managed to catch it. I put the knife away and took a pair of binoculars from my hip pouch. Once I managed to locate whatever had caught my attention, I froze.  
Shit.   
I took my pocket lantern and started the emergency Morse procedure; and as soon as the message was received and acknowledged, I set off to meet the rapidly approaching team.   
Shit. Shit. Shit, not again.  
I jumped from one branch to the next as fast as my sleep deprived body would let me, and tried to push myself further with every leap. It was no time to be letting my state affect my performance, once adrenaline took over, I would be fine.   
Sai had quite a peculiar ability, using chakra infused ink, he could bring his drawings to life and use the in battle or surveillance missions. Right now the huge black and white bird was serving as a means of transport to team seven. Sai was flying the beast while behind him, Sakura treated an unconscious Naruto.   
“Shishou, call it.” I said as I landed on the back of the ink beast.  
I pulled out my latex gloves from one of my back pockets. Even if I wasn’t a medic, I always carried them around in case of an emergency, and that wouldn’t be the last time I was glad I had them on me. I had no idea what was going on, but apparently we were running out of time; and as little experience as I had, I still had to help Shishou somehow, we had to get sensei back alive.   
“Kurama’s chakra was sealed away. Even if it’s a weak seal, it’s holding up too well.” She said as sweat dripped down the side of her face. “Since Naruto was relying on Kurama for chakra because his well had run out; we need to transfuse some into him. Even if he has Kurama’s chackra with him, it’s no use if he can’t make use of it.”  
Okay, whose chakra was sealed? What the hell is a Kurama?  
I pulled my gloves on and started making the hand seals for the chakra transfusion jutsu. I might have not been a medic, but Shishou had made sure I knew that jutsu like the back of my hand even before the war started. Chakra depletion was very common among shinobi, even in c-ranked missions; one did not have to be at war to suffer from it, so because I was the nearest thing to a medic our team had, I of course needed to know the technique.   
I hadn’t been this focused on iryo ninjutsu in a while, and to have it be while trying to keep my sensei from dying from chakra depletion was not a nice feeling. Kiba’s bloody image appeared in my mind’s eye, but I shoved it away as soon as it came up. Sensei would not die, Sakura was here and we were near camp, he would be okay.   
Once I finished gathering and purifying enough chakra (you have to purify it before transferring it to someone else, otherwise chakra poisoning could take place) I brought my hands down to Sensei’s torso. But as soon as I laid my hands on him, something inside him pulled at my chakra and climbed up my arms, sucking the life force I had gathered out of my system and into Naruto’s.   
I screamed out in panic and retreated immediately, my arms burning horribly as the feeling of being drained of all your energy settled in them. They throbbed, and felt like they had been put in the fire; but they were not injured. And in front of me Sakura continued to lend her team mate her chakra.   
How the hell…?   
“That was Kurama, trying to gather chakra for his host faster.” She explained as she wiped the sweat off her forehead with her shoulder. “Kurama is a tailed beast, a creature some believe to be demon-like. He is pure chakra, an amount so incredibly huge it could supply the entire konoha population for three generations. He was sealed inside Naruto when he was born.”   
I just stared at her in horror. A demon, sealed inside Sensei.  
“He won’t kill you, He was just making the whole process faster now get your ass back here or I’ll have to activate the seal.” The pinkette barked.  
That’s right, Sakura’s seal; the marking in the middle of her forehead. She had once explained it was a technique the very fifth Hokage had passed on to her. The strength of a hundred seal was a special technique that could only be archived by those who had the best chakra control. Chakra was constantly being concentrated on one spot of the body (generally the forehead) and when released the user could make use of the power stored over time. If Sakura released her seal it would mean things were getting out of hand. We were all better off if we avoided it and just have me step in instead.  
I nodded hesitantly but with more resolve than before, and started over the procedure. The burning feeling I got when I touched Sensei again was quite uncomfortable; but it was nothing that fire style jutsu hadn’t done to me, and with it came the drain in my chakra well.   
This Kurama guy sure is a greedy little shit. I thought as I tried to purify my chakra at a pace fast enough to keep up with the tailed beast.   
“We are starting our descent.” Stated Sai in his chilling calm voice.   
Okay, all we have to do now is get him to the tent and I have to let the medics take over. As much as I want to help, my chakra reserve is not that big and I’m already getting exhausted.  
As we touched down, a group of medics that had been waiting on us, surrounded the ink bird and took Sensei right away. I let them take over and stepped aside so I wouldn’t be in the way. Sakura started ordering people around as she kept her hands on her team mate’s torso. I let the chakra in my hands flow back into my system and sighed.   
I’d know for a while just how skilled Sakura actually was; but right then I realized the extent of it. She had been giving Naruto her chakra the whole time, even before I intercepted them; and she was still at it, while I stood panting with more than half my chakra gone.   
The swarm of medics disappeared inside the tent and never came back out. Looks like it’s gonna be a long day. I didn’t want to be in the way so I just stayed outside and let the medical corps do their job. I decided to wait outside instead, and since I had a lot of time to kill, I could go over what Shishou had told me.  
Inside Sensei, lived a creature made out of pure chakra called tailed beast; and it was terrifyingly powerful. The thing called Kurama had invaded my chakra coils and robbed me of my life force, and I felt incredibly violated. I didn’t like the thing, not because it was a demon living inside Sensei (I could get over that), but because the damn thing had deliberately invaded my system and taken over my coils; and I couldn’t do anything about it. I mean yes, it was trying to save its host but dude you can’t just invade a girl’s body like that and expect her to be okay with it.  
So now I had crap ton of unanswered questions, and the sudden realization that even after five years I still didn’t know shit about my sensei. I sat outside the tent and just waited; all I could do was ask Shishou to explain things a little bit better, but then again I didn’t know if it was something Sensei didn’t want people to know about.  
You don’t know him at all, do you?  
The answer to that was clear as day; I only knew his name and that his best friend and former team mate was dead. The first shinobi I trusted, the one who showed me the ropes and taught me everything I knew; he knew me like the back of his hand, and I was completely in the dark. All the hours we spent together training, fighting, laughing; it seemed like enough time to get to know someone; but there are things about people’s past that you don’t get to know unless they confide in you about it.   
I could understand the need to hide information like tailed beasts, but not knowing about his past, his family his friends, his history suddenly bothered me a lot. Sensei was a very well kept secret; from ‘sage mode’ he had used that one time while training to this Kurama thing now; I knew sensei was one of the most powerful shinobi among our lines , gossip around camp made sure everyone knew that; but the actual extent of his abilities were a mystery to me.   
I sighed and pulled at the roots of my hair, it was starting to get long but a haircut was not in my list of priorities right then. Naruto would be okay, Sakura was with him, but would he be able to explain what was going on? Would he even want to? Maybe I was being too nosy, Naruto’s past was his own after all, and he had the right not to tell me if he didn’t feel like it.   
“You look like you’re drowning in there, miss.”  
I looked up from my spot on the ground. The man standing before me had to be the tallest person I’d ever seen, his unruly (and unusually long) white hair was tied up in a ponytail. Two red lines ran from under his eyes, all the way down his cheeks and up to his jawline. His clothes were quite unusual too, and the only thing that marked him as a shinobi was his headband.   
“Do you mind if I sit?” the enormous man asked.  
Even if his height and build were intimidating, his warm expression made up for it. I would not want to make that man angry, I was sure of that the second I saw him.   
“Sure.” I whispered, unsure of how else to answer. Sleep was catching up on me.   
“So who are you? I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.” I continued.  
He obviously hadn’t infiltrated camp, his appearance was far too extravagant to blend in, and his clothes were mostly made out of mesh, which could only mark him as a shinobi.   
“So you don’t know about the great toad sage Jiraiya?” Toad sage? Oh god another one escaped from the psych ward. “You must be the civilian informant the kid trained.”   
The man grinned and studied me with his eyes, scrutinizing me; it was kind of creepy actually.   
“I’m one of the three Konoha legendary sannin, Jirayia.” He said extending his hand for me to shake. “And your sensei was once my apprentice.”


	24. Story Time With Jirayia

“I was in Konoha when the war started; I saw most of it with my own eyes but had to ask around to fill the gaps I had.” Said Jirayia-sama, taking a seat beside me.   
Once the man had revealed his identity to me, he found himself drowning in questions. I was many things, but I had never been patient and the man could tell there was a huge amount of desperation behind my never ending inquiries. Figuratively speaking, questions had flown out of my mouth and slapped him on the face without a single warning. Thankfully, once he had managed to shut me up, he settled for straight out telling me the whole story.  
“You see I’m a master of infiltration and work alongside Konoha intelligence, so I was making a report to Tsunade (our current Hokage).” He continued, and proceeded to make several inappropriate comments about her short fuse was the complete opposite to the size of her breasts.   
But finally, after a whole lot of slapping and cursing from my part, he told me the entire story of the first civilian-shinobi war:  
<>  
The Toad Sage sipped from a cup I hadn’t realized he was holding, that’s when I realized how little attention I was paying to my surroundings. Yet another proof of my (quite dangerous) lack of attention was when Jirayia-sama smiled at something behind me.   
“I hope you’re not doing anything to my Kouhai, old fart.” I tensed slightly at the sound of my Sensei’s voice.  
“Nah, wouldn’t want to make anyone jealous.” Naruto chuckled behind me and made his way to where I was sitting.   
I looked down immediately, not wanting to meet his eyes. I had been prying into his life and asking personal questions about him without his consent, and I was quite ashamed of myself.   
“Shouldn’t you be resting?” asked the Sage as he got to his feet and patted the dirt off his clothes. He was smiling widely at his former student, the kind of smile that carries a hidden message with it.  
“Nah, the seal faded after a while and I have tons of chakra the medics and Hiromi gave me. I’ll be fine.” Answered the blond taking a seat where his mentor had been. “Now, will you let me have a chat with my Kouhai? There’s stuff we need to discuss.”   
The white haired man nodded and winked at me (I wasn’t sure of the meaning behind it but it kinda gave me the creeps) before taking his leave. The only thing I got was a ‘see you later kiddo’ and a lazy wave before being left alone with the subject of our previous conversation.  
“So, Hiromi, I feel like the old pervert covered most of it,” O great he heard the whole thing. “he did forget to mention something important.”  
Oh shit, he’s gonna kill me for sure or tell me Jirayia forgot to mention the Jinchuriki thing was a secret and now I’ll be killed or maybe…  
“Sasuke wasn’t just my team mate;”   
Huh?  
“I was in love with him.”  
HUH?!


	25. The Calm Before the Storm

I had never actually thought about shinobi falling in love, but I shouldn’t have been surprised about it, we were human after all. The fact that Sensei had fallen in love with his team mate shouldn’t have come as a shock either, since relationships between team mates often were tight knit and usually ended up in lifelong friendships; it wouldn’t have been surprising if some of them fell in love with each other. But then it dawned on me: Naruto had killed the person he had fallen in love with.   
“We had been together since we were children, our relationship had always been bumpy but we made it work; we understood each other and where we came from. I guess at some point in my mind he stopped being just a friend and I fell in love with his arrogant and emotionally constipated self.” Continued Sensei with a chuckle.   
“People don’t really talk about it because the fact that we were both men makes them uncomfortable; but to me he was just a broken person who had lost all hope of love in his life.”   
You complained about not knowing Naruto, now you can’t say Kami didn’t provide.   
“How did you manage?”   
The words came out of me before I could stop them, and as soon as I saw Naruto’s face I wanted to take them back. The answer to that, was that he never had managed. His eyes were those of some who had lost it all and was still trying to cope. He was broken, so very broken and I couldn’t fix him. He had no family, he had been forced to kill his first love and his very existence had been scorned for years. He had pulled through by sheer force of stubbornness and staying himself regardless of what life threw at him.   
Now that is someone I would call a hero.  
“I just couldn’t let him ruin the memory I had of him, I wanted him to stay himself, at least in my memory.” He answered simply.   
“Right before Jirayia-sama appeared, I was pulling at my hair wondering if I knew you at all, but hearing you talk like that I feel quite silly now. You’ve always been one to cherish bonds with people, and I had no reason to doubt our own bond. I’m sorry Sensei; I shouldn’t have pried into your past to satisfy my own curiosity.” I said looking down.  
He had always been Naruto, even in his past decisions and stories he was still the same and I shouldn’t have needed to know everything he went through to realize I knew him well too. I was embarrassed, and I had every reason to, but as usual Sensei understood.  
“You do know me, Hiromi; you’ve known me all along. It is true knowing a person’s past can tell you a lot about them, but you don’t base friendships on the person’s past, but on your own experience with them.” Said Sensei as he patted my shoulder. “Don’t worry Kouhai, you know me pretty well; I mean, five years together is nothing to sneeze at.”   
Even when he was the subject of my worries, Sensei always managed to put my mind at ease; after all these years he still managed to teach me and guide me through life. And every time I wondered how my life could have gone without his guidance, the answer was always ‘it would have been shit’. He wasn’t just a mentor or a friend, Sensei was family, Sensei was home; and I thanked Kami every day for making our paths cross.   
……………………………  
The main tent was packed with high ranking operatives and team leaders; they had been called in almost an hour ago and had still to come out. I was glad I hadn’t been asked to go in; crowded, stuffy places were not my forte to begin with.   
Kankuro and I were waiting for Neji outside, and so were the rest of the teams. A counter measure had been issued the second civilian troops had mobilized; the plan had been a success, it had driven civilians into a corner when their supplies and medics had been taken. This was one last desperate move to try and defeat us.   
The atmosphere around camp was more than just gloomy, we all knew the next battle would be the last one; and the prospect of losing any more lives (shinobi or civilian) was making everyone’s mood somber at the very least. We were all dreading the battle to come, the possibility of some of us never coming back made our last moments with each other all the more precious.   
Many people were gathered in groups, quietly discussing the possible approaches we could be taking; others were polishing and sharpening their weapons and gearing up for battle. Kankuro and I were part of that last group. I was quietly strapping holsters and pouches with weapons to my belt and thighs, while Kankuro was checking his puppet’s joints for the fifth time. We were both gearing up heavily this time, since civilians had nothing left to lose they would hit us with everything they had left, and if we underestimated them we would surely die.   
Kankuro was taking all three of his puppets and extra kunai and shuriken in case he was forced into short range combat. His make-up had been done in a especially fierce looking fashion too; that to be completely honest, even gave me the creeps.   
“You look like you have a long list of people you want to see dead by the end of this, Hiromi.” Commented my partner casually as he used his chakra threads to check the puppet’s arm was working properly.   
“What? Do I look that eager?” I teased shooting him a light smirk as I continued to sharpen yet another kunai.   
Kankuro didn’t return the smile though, he just put the arm he was working on down and looked into my eyes dead serious. The Kabuki make-up made his whole expression frightening and for a second I felt bad for whoever found themselves in his way. It was unusual and very unsettling receiving that look from him who was usually a goof.   
“You never look forward to battles, usually before we move out you do this weird thing where you make sure Neji and I don’t forget anything instead of worrying about yourself.” He said, and I raised an eyebrow so he would get to the damn point already. “Today you are making sure you don’t forget anything. You are even more restless than usual, as if you couldn’t wait for the time to move out.”  
I put down the kunai I was holding and sighed. He was right, ever since Neji had been summoned, I’d been considering the possibility of coming face to face with Tora, Takuto or even Mizuki (if he was still alive) on the field. I wanted Mizuki dead with burning passion for obvious reasons, but I couldn’t help but wonder what I would do should I come across the other two. True, they had turned their backs to me and ignored the fact that I was condemned to death. They hadn’t tried to help like Nozomi had. In addition to that Takuto was still my cousin, but was blood really that important? Nozomi and my shinobi friends were not relatives of mine and yet I felt them closer than my actual family.   
“I’m just trying to clear my head before battle so I won’t do anything I might regret. Those people raised me after all.” I answered trying my hardest not to look too out of it. “It’ll be fine if I happen to bump into one of them, I’ll do what I have to. And they most probably will want my head too, so there’s nothing to worry about I guess. I just have to do my job.”  
I put away the now razor sharp kunai and stood up, stretching a bit as I smiled down at my friend.   
“It will all be over soon hopefully and we’ll be able to rebuild Konoha, and Suna after that.” I said confidently. “We can rebuild your home and I can make Konoha mine.”  
Despite my best efforts to be optimistic and lighten the mood, Kankuro did not look encouraged, in fact he looked almost sad; but even then he managed to smile in a way that it almost made me believe he was happy this was coming to an end.   
“Yeah, we can both go home.”  
…………………  
The field extended a few miles before us, but it never met the horizon; a fifty meter cliff cut our vision and looked as though it had been artificially built to create a valley. The enemy would have to make their way down the cliff and across the field before reaching the tree line where we waited. The field had been mined and the cliff booby trapped in advance.  
Should the enemy make it through (and they would at some point) they would be met by long range fighters. When some of them made it through they should be stopped completely by the mid and short range fighters; then it would all end there. There was nothing to go back to this was it. The battle would be decided here and whoever won would gain the right to decide over the other party.   
We had an ace under our sleeve though, a few combat medics had been stationed among our ranks; only those approved by Sakura, the rest would remain in the medical camp under Nozomi’s orders and wait for the heavily injured to be brought in. Civilians on the other hand had none of this and that right there was our advantage.   
Every able body had been deployed; genin, chuunin, special jonin, jonin and ANBU operatives were all distributed in teams across the tree line waiting for their opportunity to make a dent on our enemy forces. Every single one of us was counting on our comrades and team mates, as well as our own abilities. We weren’t fighting on our own or for ourselves; we were fighting for and with each other.   
And at last the first enemy appeared on top of the cliff.


	26. The Final Battle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING mentions of violence, blood and gore! be careful pleace!

Ropes were thrown from the top of the cliff and left to fall all the way down to ground level. One after the other, civilian troops descended as fast as they could manage; completely oblivious to the traps and mines waiting to be triggered. They were defenseless against any type of projectile too but that didn’t seem to be a concern either. Their desperation had been obvious from the start, but we were starting to see what being cornered could do to people who had nothing to lose.   
As they reached the half way point, screams started. Kunai shooting from the Cliffside and impaling themselves on the troops; wires being triggered and causing chain explosions along the width of the area. Some people found themselves in the path of such wires and lost limbs or even their heads in the process.   
It was painful to watch really, the traps specialists had gone all out and exceeded all expectations. I didn’t want to think about the mines too much either; if the trappers had done such a thorough job, then the miners would not let themselves be outshone. It was awful to be completely honest, even if I had seen the horrors of war, had had my fare share of near death experiences; this, this was the worst of them all. One thing was killing people face to face, another thing entirely was to pick them like fish in a barrel.   
My ears were ringing the second the first mine went off. Most of the traps had already been triggered and now the enemy had reached ground level. Clouds of smoke and the rank smell of burning human flesh filled the clearing and slowly made their way towards us as the enemy continued to advance. Pity crawled its way into me as I saw once again their desperation. They really do hate us, huh?   
The smell surrounding the entire field intensified, and I couldn’t help but cover my nose and mouth with my hand. We no longer had a clear view of the field from our place in the tree line, as dust, smoke and debris flew in all directions with every mine that went off. The enemy was slowly but steadily advancing despite everything; and our time to fight one last time was drawing near.   
Kankuro, who had been waiting a few feet to my left, threw me a piece of cloth to cover my nose with; so that I could fight with both my hands free. I tied the thing to the back of my head and tightened the hitai-ate on my forehead. That piece of metal, insignificant to civilians, had become my most prized possession. The head band marked me as a shinobi, it was an acknowledgement of my work and effort, it was proof of everything I had gone through; and if I died that day, the damn thing would sure as fuck still be tied to my head.  
Around me, every single shinobi was getting ready to fight; each with their weapon of preference: blades, scrolls, fans (yes, huge ass fans), or just their bare fists. Kankuro summoned his first puppet beside me; and Neji activated his Byakugan. I spread chakra through my body and took a pair of kunai from the holster tied to my leg. Then everything went silent.   
Explosions ceased and all that could be heard was the harsh breathing of those whose nerves hadn’t been settled. I tried to slow my own breathing and keep it under control; cover was no use if your opponent could hear you breathe after all. My body tightened in anticipation.  
Inhale.   
Exhale.  
I focused on what was left of the field and waited.  
Inhale.  
Exhale.  
Someone behind me tightened their grip on their weapon, silence so absolute I could almost tell how far he stood.  
One heart beat.  
Two heart beats.  
Five.  
Eight.  
The faint sound of a battle cry started to become louder as the owner of the voice approached us; unseen under the cover of the smokescreen. Dozens, hundreds of voices joined in on the cry as they made their way out of their hiding place and into plain sight. Our enemy had arrived, and the time to end it had finally arrived.   
Another cry sounded to my right as every other shinobi answered the enemy’s bloodlust with our own declaration: we were not backing down. I joined in on my comrade’s voices and leapt onto the field to meet our opponent. My feet left the safety of the tree branch I had been crouching on and dived into battle.   
Back when we were still waiting for our orders to be delivered, I had decided to rely entirely on hand-to-hand combat to save my chakra for when it was absolutely necessary. We all knew it would be a long battle, and to give it our all we would have to do anything in our power to stretch our stamina as far as it could go. But that didn’t mean I would be holding back either, hand to hand combat was my forte after all; I would just be reducing the amount of chakra I spent.   
I made my way through the enemy lines in what I like to call ‘battle high’ where you just kind of blur past your enemies without ever noticing how many of them there are or how long you’re taking. The adrenaline and dynamism of the battle induces you into a state where the only thing you can focus on is not dying.   
People dropped dead around me as I drifted through the field in that state of absolute concentration and instinct. Every now and then the blur cleared and I was able to check for my team mates’ chakra, making sure they were alive and diving back into the fight right after. The fight continued; blood was shed, heads rolled and a lot of people died. The civilians were slowly losing ground, but they didn’t seem to notice or even care; they just kept pushing forward. It was a never ending nightmare.  
Shinobi were having losses too, more than once I had to drag a comrade’s body towards the tree line so that he could be treated by a medic. More than once too, I had to cover for a couple of them who were in a bind with a particularly skilled enemy. But that was just how war went, you helped your own, try not to get killed and take down as many of your adversaries as you can manage.   
A huge explosion echoed across the battlefield and shook the ground to the core. My opponent lost his footing and I took the opportunity. I made a clean slit on the base of his neck and moved out of the way as his still struggling body fell.   
“What the actual fuck was that?!” demanded Kankuro as he put an end to his own adversary.   
I turned towards the source of the ruckus and saw that a 50 metre diameter crater had formed a mile or so away. I smiled.   
Oh yeah, now we’re talking.  
There was very few things that could do such damage, and I was proved right when a flash of pink emerged from within the debris.   
“That’s my role model.” I said proudly as I brought my attention back to the fight.   
I heard Neji trying to explain Sakura’s power to our very confused team mate, but I didn’t pay much attention. The thing about having Shishou fighting alongside us was that it served as a booster, an inspiration; knowing our allies had such strength was uplifting. It provided hope.   
Ever since her first attack, Sakura continued wreck havoc and literally pound through our enemy defenses; and the shaking ground turned into just another part of the battle we had to adapt to. Throughout the fight, I had lost the cloth that Kankuro had given me, but people were so engrossed in their desire to kill us they didn’t seem to care who you were; if you had a hitai-ate you were going down.  
That is, until I got surrounded.  
“Look what we got here, boys;” snickered a middle aged woman. “I think we caught ourselves a ghost!” she chuckled dryly.   
I dropped both my kunai and started channeling chakra and spreading it through my body. None of them would know what hit them, I was unarmed, wasn’t I?   
“We should have known treacherous shit like you would manage to stay alive. Filthy cockroaches are hard to kill after all.”   
To be completely honest with you I was thoroughly amused by this woman. Here I was channeling the chakra I had been saving to use on her and her gang; and yet here she was, bragging about how she had already won and probably thinking how much fame she would get for killing the traitor.  
“You could say I made a pact with a demon, you have him to thank for that.” I answered It was kind of funny how ‘demon’ fitted Sensei, since he did have a tailed beast inside. The shadow of a smile appeared in my lips as I thought this suited my nickname too. I could make up a whole fucking story about how the devil is my father and these fuckers would spread it all over the second I set their asses on fire.   
“Well little ugly duckling, your pact ends now. You are dead meat Junsei.” snarled the woman as every soldier around me took a careful step forward.   
“You’re right, I am dead inside. So let me show you this little trick I traded my soul for.” I said looking around, plastering on my face the most insane smile I could muster.   
Might as well play the part.   
“I promise it’s so impressive you could die; just not of laughter.”


	27. Fated Encounter

I tried to get my breathing back in control as the fire around me burnt out and the screams of my victims ceased. The temperature in the atmosphere had risen considerably, so I was not surprised when I found myself sweating like a pig. I wiped my mouth with the back of my gloved hand and looked around. The group of charred bodies around me was giving off a terrible smell, but so did the rest of the battlefield. One could not escape the stench of blood, sweat and filth; not where I stood, nor in any corner of the field. You could smell death everywhere and there was no way around it.   
Anywhere I looked there was some kind of fight going on, people fighting one on one or even in groups; war was everywhere in every form and shape imaginable and there was no escaping it. Medics struggled to get their injured comrades to safety, trying not to get killed in the process; shinobi of every rank fought their way around their enemy, trying to make a dent in their defenses in any way they could think of. People were thinking, strategizing or in some cases just following their instincts to try and make a difference; to try and live just a little longer.   
I sighed and scanned through the field with my eyes, trying to find someone who looked like they needed a hand. I still had energy and my chakra reserves were decent, but my mind was absolutely exhausted. We had been fighting this war for almost four years; killing people had become the usual thing to do, burning people alive or just taking them out in cold blood, it didn’t matter; what was important was what we would gain of all this suffering, and something as simple as that was what kept us going.  
With the rebuilding of Konoha we would all be able to start a new life of our own, without hiding or living in constant fear of discovery. I for my part would be able to start my life as a shinobi outside war, going on missions that did not involve a whole lot of killing and maybe someday retire and live peacefully with my own family. I would have given anything for a C-ranked mission right then, but reality was harsh and if I didn’t first finish my job then there would be no C-ranks to take.   
I came back from my wishful thinking, when from the corner of my eye, I saw an enemy approaching. The figure charged in with his katana in hand, aiming his first blow to my head. I dodged the swing of his blade and turned, reaching for the kunai I had dropped. Another blow was aimed at my feet, but I managed to get out of its way just in time and put some distance between us. When I finally managed to stand my ground and gather my bearings, I was able to look at my adversary for the first time. And then I wish I hadn’t.  
Takuto was standing a few feet away from me, face covered in dirt and blood; and his chest heaving as he tightened his grip on the sword. Just what I needed. I saw the faintest flash of recognition in his eyes when he saw my face; but apparently he had no intention of backing down, and to his great misfortune, neither did I.  
“So Mizuki was right,” He spat through gritted teeth. “You were alive and still working with shinobi.”   
I stood silent as my cousin worked the new information in his head. I had been through enough unnecessary conversations and monologues since the battle started. After the first gang intercepted me and declared I was ‘dead meat’, more and more people started to recognize me; and every single one of them had something to say about me apparently. A man had gone far enough as to declare he would be called the ‘demon slayer’ once he was done with me, which I found extremely amusing in spite of being in the middle of a war.  
Most times I cut their little rant short and charged in the middle of their ‘you’re gonna die, traitor’ speech, and moved on to the next adversary. But this was different; this time the person making the speech was part of the little family I had left and the least I could do was to let him vent before we tried to kill each other.  
“Do you have any idea of the scorn I was put through because of you?! I was interrogated twice, and wasn’t allowed to join the war effort until I had ‘proved myself’” continued my cousin, jaw locked in place and almost grinding his teeth with every word.  
His legs were shaking, and so were his arms; the katana in his hands quivered; and I wasn’t sure he was in a stable state of mind anymore, or if he had ever been in the first place.  
“It wasn’t until I killed one of your little shinobi friends that they started to trust me. And just as I killed shinobi before, I will kill you now. I will clear the name of our family and rid it of the filth you stained our name with. The Junsei family will be honorable again.” The rant was done, and Takuto seemed to want me dead so badly, he charged before he could even finish his sentence.   
The second I had recognized Takuto, I’d known it wasn’t going to be an easy fight. Even if we had not seen each other in almost four years; and the last time we had, I was being executed for high treason. I had known I would have to leave everything behind when I joined the shinobi ranks, and I had done it anyway; but having to fight your own family to the death still was something I had been trying to avoid the whole time. Seemed like my efforts had been in vain.   
Right then, standing there facing the only family I had left; I understood how big my disadvantage was. Takuto was going to fight his enemy, a traitor; I was going to fight my cousin, my family. But what I could also see was Takuto’s shame; he was ashamed for my decisions, of who I had become and how that had affected him. To be completely honest, I was ashamed too, although it wasn’t my decisions I was ashamed of, but his. My cousin was a coward, he had gone with the flow, agreed to the civilian compound’s decisions and choices because he was afraid of what could happen to him if he didn’t.  
But what brought me most shame was how I had let him do it. I had left my cousin unguided, I had gone and done what I thought was right, but not even for a second did I consider what leaving Takuto in the dark would do to him. I could have warned him, could have explained myself and asked for his help; or at least give him the necessary information and let him make his own decision. Why hadn’t I tried to convince Taicho? Why hadn’t I even asked the shinobi to take him into account as a possible ally? Because I thought I could do it all on my own, and of course I couldn’t. I could have never done it all on my own and now I know it.   
My last living relative delivered one blow after the other, mercilessly slashing at me back and forth, using his superior strength and height to his advantage. I resigned myself to just dodging his attacks, even if he was actively trying to murder me, he was still my family. I had never been one to disregard the bond between relatives; even if we were at odds I couldn’t grasp the concept of turning your back completely to your family. Yes I had left Takuto behind, but I still had no desire to kill him.   
In my desperate attempts to focus on the task at hand; my movements became slower for the fraction of a second. My cousin had been trained well enough in my absence, so of course he saw the opening, and took his opportunity. Thankfully, I had been trained well enough too; I regained my composure as soon as I lost it and followed my instinct when it drove me forward. I wasn’t quick enough to avoid the blow completely, but at least I managed not to get myself badly injured or killed. But Takuto had struck me alright, and my left ring finger was now lying on the ground in a growing puddle of blood.   
My hand was shaking and in pain; holy fuck was I in pain; but it was something I was well acquainted with by now. I had felt the white pang of agony run all over my body when I’d spent my ‘special time’ with Mizuki; and it was the crude reminder of mortality that brought me back to my senses. I looked down at my now bloody hand, knowing there was no turning back now. I would not fight Takuto because he was my enemy, I would not fight Takuto because he was a civilian; I would fight him because I wanted to live, and as long as he was still breathing, I would not be allowed to.   
I wrapped a piece of bandage around my hand as fast and efficient as I could, ignoring the fact that Takuto was still there, silent and unmoving. Once my hand stopped bleeding and dying my glove maroon, I looked up at my cousin. My face was completely blank, and my eyes I knew were cold as I watched a shiver go down Takuto’s back. He wanted to fight shinobi, I can’t disappoint, now can I?   
I took a new kunai out of my thigh holster and held it as firmly as I could in my left hand. Using firestyle taijutsu on my injured hand would have been hell, so the double edged knife would have to do. I would still use fire with my right hand on a greater scale than usual to cover for my injured side. I could not afford the luxury of holding back, any type of mercy towards my cousin would mean a higher chance of death; and I would not give him that chance.   
Our battle continued; kunai, katana and fire dancing their way around each other. Attacking, defending, flying up to be caught in mid air once again. Hair was burnt, skin was slashed and both of our figures refused to lose ground or back down. At that point, Takuto had been the only civilian who managed to keep up with me and give me a run for my money; and deep down (veeeeeeeeery deep down) I was proud of him and what he had accomplished.   
But the tiny surge of pride didn’t last long, since stamina is scarce when you are bleeding out and exhaustion is something even shinobi have to deal with. I was at my limit and things were definitely not looking good for me. I had managed to keep the fight even (sometimes pushing the bar higher for the sake of my own pride) but then, for the first time in years, I stumbled. I had at least managed to avoid getting my head chopped, but I fell helplessly to the ground as the dizziness from blood loss managed to make the world spin before my very eyes.   
Shit.   
I fell on my ass (very ungraceful of me, I admit it) and saw my cousin lift his blade above my head as he spun in time with the ground. I won’t lie, I wanted to puke. The dizziness was getting to me and I was about to get murdered by my family, I would like to see someone hold their lunch in for as long as I did.   
Well I’m fucked big time now.   
“Return to your daddy, ‘Devil’s Daughter’; because you sure as fuck ain’t going to heaven.”  
It would have been a cool thing to say, you know? Ending the life of your hated cousin in such a heroic way, with such a bad ass final phrase; getting the praise of a hero for the rest of your life. It could have been a cool story to tell that would transcend generations; if the massive gush of wind (almost like a tornado) hadn’t knocked Takuto off his feet and ground him on the dirt like a green recruit failing to walk up a tree.   
“Well, that’s disappointing.” Said a female voice behind me.  
I turned to see who was the absolute badass I owed my life to (yeah call me a sissy all you want, I’m still glad I wasn’t killed that day) and what I saw made me react the only way I could or knew.   
Of fucking course.   
The girl behind me had ashen blond hair, tied up in four different pony tails. Her eyes were a very opaque shade of jade that made the look on her face even more cold and unimpressed. She stood with her arm loosely draped on top of a fan (a huge ass fan); and she was both beautiful and terrifying. But none of that caused my, oh so very graceful reaction. Oh no, what made me react like that was a piece of cloth tied loosely around her neck with a metal plate sown to it and engraved with the symbol for the village hidden in the sand.   
“I was expecting my little brother’s crush to at least be stronger than him.” Said the girl as she helped me up. “the name is Temari, and you can thank me later for saving your sorry ass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can we all just scream at how bad ass Temari is? yes? No? okay bye


	28. The Implicit Hero

“Say leaf-girl, who is this little shit, and why are you having so much trouble with him?” asked Temari handing me a blood replenishing pill and removing my left glove to bandage my hand.  
Takuto was moaning in pain about fifty feet away and had still to get up. He looked slightly lost and might have had a concussion from Temari’s blast of wind.  
“He’s my cousin.” I replied, my voice sounded like my throat had been cut open with a saw, and made my state look even worse.   
The sand shinobi stopped in her tracks and looked at me with brand new eyes: she was cautious.  
“So you are the attempted middleman.” She said continuing to cover my wound in bandages and giving me back my glove.   
“I always knew Kankuro liked crazy ones, but this is really getting out of hand. No pun intended.”   
I waved her off and put my glove back on. She did have a point, it had been a rash decision, and in the beginning my intention had been to report back to the civilian compound. But the change in my loyalties and the risks I had taken had been crazy indeed. I wasn’t the sanest person around either; not speaking for months and going on various murderous rampages were sound proof of that. Kankuro had appeared in my life at the worst time possible; with Kiba’s death still fresh in my memory, and the proof of what had been done to me on my face for everyone to see; I found it surprising that he hadn’t left yet.   
“I would offer to end this for you, but I have a feeling you wouldn’t want that.” Said Temari, looking back at Takuto; who was now trying to get back on his feet.  
I watched the man who had once considered me his family, take his katana from where it was lying on the floor, and take a stance in the face of his new enemy.   
“I couldn’t live with myself if I let you do it. But I might need just a little help, if you wouldn’t mind.” I said raising my left hand to make a point. The Suna kunoichi just nodded in understanding.   
She knew how it felt; every shinobi knew how it felt, to be injured and weak in the face of sentimentality. To have an unfinished mission before you and being left with just your abilities and resolve.  
Takuto put his blade up and waited for us to make the first move, now cautious of both of us staring cold and calculating.  
“Temari-san, please cover my left.” I asked, taking four shuriken out of my thigh pouch and channeling chakra into my limbs. “When I fire and you see an opening, strike him; I’ll do the rest.”  
I couldn’t hear her response as I charged full speed to meet Takuto in our last battle; but somehow I knew that when I threw the burning projectiles, she would do her part.   
Takuto managed to avoid the shuriken, meeting some with the blunt of his blade and making the sharp almost electric noise of metal against metal. As soon as he finished dealing with the first attack I was already onto him, not giving him a moment’s rest and striking his blade with my own kunai with as much force as my weakened body would allow me.   
I dodged Takuto’s next swing and moved aside to let Temari through, having felt her chakra approaching us only moments earlier. Avoiding what could have been a beheading swing; I rolled on the ground and away as another burst of violent, forceful wind hit my cousin once again. The new attack made Takuto fall back a step or two, but it didn’t have the same effect as when Temari had first used the technique.   
I rushed back in, eager for the fight to be over and done with. My new partner and I moved in and out of Takuto’s defense; slashing, swiping, thrusting, kicking, attacking in every manner we had been taught and could think of. If not for his desire to kill me, I might have been proud of my cousin right then; but his murderous aura and the way he kept fighting against all odds brought me back down to earth.   
Finally, after what felt like forever in my worn out, weak state; Temari and I managed to disarm and corner our enemy. Now beaten and on his knees, Takuto put up his hands in surrender with a look of utmost disgust on his face.  
“Huh, so unlike Hiromi here you do have a yellow streak. Or is this just ‘live to fight another day’?” Asked Temari; lowering her fan but not quite lowering her guard. Takuto didn’t answer. “Anyway, those who get captured are being taken to the east settlement,” she continued. “I’ll make sure he gets there. You go get yourself checked.”  
What had started as a teasing, almost patronizing tone had turned into concern as her eyes scrutinized me. She was tough, but kind and caring as well: no wonder Kankuro was like that too.   
“You should get there fast; you kinda look like shit with all the blood you lost.” She urged as she tied my cousin’s wrists with razor wire behind his back.   
I just nodded and thanked her quietly, too tired to raise my voice. My energy had finally run out and my chakra was at its very limit.   
Well, I sure am getting a hell of a migraine later.   
Chakra depletion had always been, in my opinion, the worst reason to be hospitalized. Yeah losing a limb was painful sure, but you can just ask to get high on morphine and ride out the pain. With what I so wittily called in my head ‘chakra hungover’, there were no shortcuts; you get a migraine worth a thousand genjutsu and boy you had to clench your teeth and pray for it to be over fast.   
Temari didn’t say a thing as I walked out of the clearing and into the woods; slowly almost at an elder’s pace. It wasn’t long before a medic found me, and considering the state I was in, it was no surprise when she called for backup. It was a smart thing to do, not just because she would not be able to carry me all the way back to camp on her own; but because should we get attacked, I would be no help at all.  
“We’re going to get you to camp in no time, don’t worry. You’re going to be just fine.” Said the medic as she took my hand and examined the messy bandage work Temari had done.   
“I know. Just hurry up, I want to get some rest and not have to worry I’ll get killed in my sleep.”  
………………………………  
People were working restlessly inside the medics’ tent, marching from one patient to another, from the supplies’ room and back to the beds; exhaustion clear in their features but not obscuring the concentration and determination in their eyes. This was good; I had been given a blood transfusion a couple of hours before, my hand had been properly cleaned sewed and re-bandaged; and all I had to do was get more sleep.  
I had never liked the inside of the medical tent, the amount of gore in there was even larger than in the field and was more clear to see without the rush of battle to blur the edges for you. People with maimed limbs, missing eyes or even entire sides of their faces were some of the things you could see in here; and as battle trained as I was, it still gave me the creeps to go in. And now I had no way out. The moans and screams of pain around me sounded awfully haunting, and made me realize the amount of people I had left in such state or worse.   
Well there goes my plan to get sleep.   
I wanted out of there. mind you, I still wanted my sleep, but a place full of agonizing people would just not do it for me; call me picky if you want but I’d rather not have to hear what reminded me of what I’d done. The only thing stopping me (you know apart from the awful migraine that I had going on) was the lack for a better place to sleep.  
I was in the middle of strategizing my way out of there, when someone pulled the curtain separating me and the patient on the next bed back. I recognized him at once, even if I hadn’t seen him during the entire duration of the war; even with his hair down, Shikamaru’s analyzing stare was quite hard to miss.   
“’Sup captain, long time no see.” I smiled from the bed, trying not to flinch too much at the flash of pain that went through my head. “Finally taking a break to see your Kouhai, I see.”   
My ex squad leader smiled back at me, taking a stool nearby to sit next to me.  
“Well you did miss out on a lot when you passed out during the transfusion.”   
Huh?  
Shikamaru must have seen the confusion in my eyes, the glint of amusement in his was clear enough for me to see; and with some degree of worry I asked how long I had been out.  
“It’s been three days Kouhai, you missed your chance to become a war hero.” He answered as a smile made its way to his lips. “The war ended, and we won.”   
HUH?!  
Well yeah, I had dozed off a little during the transfusion, but I never imagined it had been three fucking days!  
“The civilian forces surrendered a little after you went down. Sakura made sure of that. Kakashi and I negotiated in Hokage-sama’s behalf.” He continued to explain as I absorbed every word. “Konoha will be restored as a hidden village and shinobi will regain their previous status and responsibilities. As for the Daimyo, It will be for us to choose among a group of councilmen. The council itself will be voted anew by the civilian population, except for one of them who will be appointed by the Hokage herself.”   
I just sat there, overwhelmed by the new information and still unable to believe I had slept through the end of the war. One would have thought Sakura’s punching the earth to rubble would have woken me, but apparently, I was a deep sleeper.  
But moving on from my over extended nap, we had done it. We had ended the struggle that had been going on for almost twenty years and restored balance in our country. It would be a lot of work, and we still had matters to settle in other areas but we had managed to win the fight and because of that, we had a platform from where we could continue to re-grow our once divided nation.  
“You know, even if you didn’t end a war hero, news travel fast among shinobi; and there’s this particular story about a civilian-born shinobi going around, which is quite popular.” Said Shikamaru mockingly. “I heard young ones look up at you, oh great Junsei-san.”  
Shikamaru had never been one to talk more than necessary or even gossip as a matter of fact, but it seemed like my short nap had worried him enough to come talk to me.   
“Oh one last thing before I leave” he said standing and casually putting his hands on his pockets where he usually kept them.   
I could see he was quite amused at the situation, he looked pleased with himself, like whatever he was about to tell me was not just ‘something else’.   
“As soon as Konoha gets rebuilt and is up and running again; Temari and I are getting married.”   
And with that, He left me to yell at his back to come back there right now because the fucker had some explaining to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ShikaTema bitch!!!! yeah Im a sucker, bite me.


	29. A New Begining

It had taken it’s time, patience and a lot of hard work from every single one of us; but after six months of intensive building and a lot of jutsu cheats, Konoha was mostly up and running again. The village was still under construction, but ever since the return of the Hokage, the shinobi network had been working nonstop; there was a country to rebuild after all. I had been promoted to chunin, and while my team mates and former partners decided to join the regular forces as jonin operatives or sensei; I’d decided to just stay in the shadow division.   
ANBU had been the place I’d been assigned to for a very simple reason: someone had to keep an eye on the civilian recruit, and who better for the job than Konoha’s most skilled assassins? I knew I was definitively not up to standard with real ANBU Opps and I wanted to earn my own place there; I wanted to prove to everyone that I was in fact capable of doing this by myself.   
The only two operatives of my division that remained in ANBU were Kakashi and Yamato. Kakashi-taicho had been promoted to ANBU commander, and Yamato had stayed to help him with the management and recruitment for the new Konoha’s shadow division. Both of them had agreed that I would be allowed to stay as an apprentice and build my career from there. I didn’t really expect to go any higher than chunin or maybe special jonin; since I wasn’t the youngest.   
Somewhere along the line, time had come and gone; I first met Kakashi-taicho at twenty and now after training and getting through a war, somehow I was twenty six. People did not go up at my age anymore, I mean yeah I wasn’t old but by that age shinobi already have their lives sorted out and their shit together. I wasn’t expecting much more from life, but as usual, I was wrong. Life was not done with me yet. But I wasn’t aware of that, so in the meantime I busied myself with miserably watching everyone around me reach the top of their game.  
Sakura had been put in charge of training the new medical combat division, as well as being appointed head of the Konoha general hospital. Shikamaru had been given the place of the Hokage’s advisor as the new Nara clan head, and his soon to be wife would agreed to train a team of leaf genin. Sai had been put in charge of the Hokage guard, and Kankuro would be staying in Konoha as an ambassador while we offered sand shinobi the support they had given us; and eventually helping them in their retake of Suna. Finally, Sensei had discovered, and I quote. “A passion for teaching” and was also now in charge of a genin team.   
But even before our activities started anew, all funerals for the KIA (killed in action) shinobi were held. Since most bodies were not recovered, those names would go into a memorial marble plaque on the highest part of the graveyard, right next to the fire country’s emblem. Thankfully, or to me at least, we had managed to get Kiba’s body back and give him a proper funeral of his own. There weren’t many of us, just those who had been close enough to care. It was the last time I allowed myself to cry for the loss of my friend, from then on, I promised to live life the way he would have wanted me to: for those I loved and for myself. This was my last promise to him, my goodbye.  
When shinobi activities resumed, Shikamaru and Temari had their wedding. To me it wasn’t just a celebration for them; it was a celebration to honor the ones who we had lost along the way and be grateful for those we still had left. It wasn’t just about how much the couple loved each other, it was about how they had survived the war, and their relationship had too. The ceremony was simple, only close friends and family were invited. We ate, drunk and laughed to our heart’s content; and the next morning when all of us had to go to work, we tried our best to do our job in spite of the overwhelming headaches. And just like that we all eased into our normal (or as normal as it can get for shinobi) lives.   
I opened the door to my apartment, disarming every trap Sakura had insisted I install and taking my sandals off. For the past week I had been on a training trip with Yamato-taicho, and it had been intense to say the least. ANBU was no joke, and I was suddenly wondering how I had managed not to notice it before. Of course they had been soft on me back in the day because I was a civilian, but now that I was a shinobi, and not just a genin at that, I could see why they trained since they were children. Most of this would have been easier if I’d learnt it when I was twelve.   
I continued to take off my outer armor and gadgets as I heard someone moving on the other side of the house. I paid no mind to it as I continued to take my shit off and just throwing it on the ground. I could wash all of it later. Most of it I would have to get it either repaired or mended before my next trip, and that was some work I was not looking forward to.   
When I was done I padded along the hallway and into the bathroom, I tried to wash most of the dirt, sweat and grime off my face and hands as the smell of something cooking in the kitchen made its way to me. When I was done, I let my hair of its short pony and headed for the kitchen.   
I really need a haircut.  
“It’s fucking six AM Kankuro, what the hell are you doing here?” I said walking into the room the smell was coming from and running a hand through my hair tiredly. “I was out on a field trip for an entire week, living off protein bars and fear, and I would love to have my apartment to myself for once.”  
The sand shinobi just stood by the fire and kept frying whatever kind of fish that was; without even sparing me a glance. He just gasped and put his right hand to his chest in mock offence. He had been coming to my place so often that I was no longer sure if the apartment was actually mine.  
“And here I was, slaving away, selflessly cooking for you, so you could eat something other than cup noodles. And you go and say something like that?”  
Somehow it had become something regular. I would come back from a mission, he would be at my place doing some random shit and I would complain about how awfully clingy he was. We somehow managed not to kill or gravely wound each other though, and we secretly enjoyed the other’s company, even if we fought like children the entire time.  
“Just shut the hell up and give me a plate; I’m done with ration bars for the rest of my life.” I chuckled and took a seat as Kankuro decided the damn fish was ready.   
My ‘roommate’ brought a plate for each of us and sat at the table right in front of me. Without his shinobi armor and kabuki make up, Kankuro looked pretty normal, deceivingly so; and I thought that if he ever were to do undercover missions, he could definitively succeed.   
“How did it go anyway? I know it’s classified but you look worse off than usual today.” He said taking a bite of his meal and showing concern for the first time since I had arrived.  
I lifted my gaze from my plate for the first time since he’d given it to me and, with the straightest, most unimpressed expression I could muster I said: “Gee, thanks.”  
Of course I didn’t tell him about the missions I’d been going on or even where my training had been taking place; just how hard it was proving to be and how I was dead certain it wouldn’t have been that bad if I’d been trained when I was younger. In turn, Kankuro told me how boring paperwork was compared to field work, and how even though he loved his dear brother with his whole heart; being an ambassador was slowly eating at him. He brought up the possibility of asking his brother (the Kazekage) to put him on active duty again, but he also didn’t want to leave Gaara on his own.  
Eleven o’clock arrived unnoticed, and with our meal and catching up done for that day, I kicked Kankuro out of my apartment. I needed a shower with urgency, and to sleep in my own bed and not on a tree branch or the ground for a change. But of course he had to leave on his own terms, so he made me agree (and by made me I mean threatened not to leave until I said yes) to go out for a drink with him sometime later.  
After the longest shower in history and very thoroughly brushing my now uncomfortably long hair; I went straight to bed. It is true that you don’t appreciate what you have until you’ve lost it, and in that exact moment I promised myself never to take my bed for granted. Might sound stupid to you, but boy the sound I let out when I laid down and sunk right through the material as if it was a cloud, was definitively not human. The things outdoor training and actual missions could do to you were nothing to sneeze at.  
I hadn’t been asleep for an hour, or so it felt to me; when someone started to tap on my window. I tried to ignore whoever idiot was disturbing my sleep, but gave up when the person insisted over and over again. I would chop their heads off if it was something unimportant, and I would go back to sleep undisturbed by the taking of their lives, because one just does not mess with my well deserved rest.  
I pulled back the curtains, ready to maim and kill whoever was on the other side; and what I saw made my anger both flare up and decrease at the same time. Naruto was crouching on my window still, smiling apologetically. He motioned me to open the window and let him in, I almost didn’t; but if I refused to open up, he would definitively break into my apartment somehow. So I decided I’d rather open the window than have him breaking several things in his attempt to get in.  
I opened the window, trying to bite back everything I wanted to tell him. For some reason I couldn’t bring myself to give him a piece of my mind, after all I hadn’t seen him in a long time with how we always seemed to be going on missions. He had a team of brats to train, which I supposed, demanded a lot of time, and I was busy with my own training.  
“What the hell do you want, Sensei?” I asked as I watched him take his Hitai-ate off and start to unzip his flak jacket.  
“Well hello to you too, Kouhai.” He answered with a smile that was all too bright for the awful mood I was in. “I need a place to rest for a bit, my kids are quite enthusiastic and won’t let me.”  
He left both the items he had taken off on a chair by the door to my room; and made his way to the toilet. The faucet was turned on and I could hear him washing up. Of all the people this guy knew, he had come to my place to crash, lovely. I still hadn’t had enough sleep and would have liked to enjoy the peace and comfort of home on my own.   
“Go home Sensei, I’ve had a rough week.” I grumbled as I turned on my bed and threw the covers on top of me, so my back was facing him when he re-entered the room.   
“No can do Hiromi. No one will take me in because they have things to do, but you don’t so we can just chill together.” He answered before I could hear his soft almost unnoticeable footsteps as he returned to the room. “Now scoot over.”  
Oh fuck no.   
“Forget it. If you stay, you get the couch and do not bother me until I come back from the land of the dead. Now scram.” I said with the foulest scowl plastered on my face.   
Finally, her raised his hands in surrender and turned to go to the living room. He took a blanket from a pile in one of the corridor closets and then left for his new temporary bed.  
……………..  
“You called, Lady Hokage?” I said as I got off the ceiling passage and landed on one knee. My head was down, as was customary for ANBU operatives when being addressed by our commander in chief; and my face was covered by the same mask I had received from Kakashi-taicho all those years ago. But even with ANBU armor and mandatory mask to conceal one’s identity, Lady Tsunade knew exactly who she was talking to.  
“Yes Leopard, I called you in here to save your commander the trouble of giving the news: your next mission will be your last as a full time ANBU operative.”  
The second the words left her mouth, I raised my head; but she stopped me from interrogating her with juts raising her hand. I still didn’t understand, even if I had done missions with the shadow division, my training was most definitively not complete. There was a lot of things I had to and wanted to learn, and this was a huge setback, because let’s face it, I wasn’t getting any younger.  
“The Village Hidden in the Sand has requested our assistance in restoring the Wind Country in return for supporting our cause. The official announcement will be given soon, but I need the elites to know what’s going on.”   
The look on her face left no room for ‘buts’ so I bit my tongue and waited for my own instructions. I didn’t get it, I was no elite, for Kami’s sake I was just a chunin! But apparently if chunin had to train children during war, which meant it was because there would be no Jonin around to do it. It made sense if you thought of it, and I couldn’t believe it had taken me so long to realize it. In fact, at some point, I would have to be deployed too. And I would never admit I would have rather spend the rest of my life having Yamato-taicho whooping my ass on training every day than go back to war. Not like I could tell that to anybody anyway since disobeying orders would be considered high treason. And I would rather not go through shinobi interrogation, the civilian one I’d gone through had been enough for a lifetime.  
“You will work with ANBU in select missions, just not as often as you have up until now. So when you are not in the shadows you will be a taijutsu instructor in the ninja academy.” She continued lowering her hand when she saw I had no intention to interrupt her again. “You will also be deployed to the front lines, for shorter periods than Jonin, but still. Your students are going to be assigned in a week, and classes start two weeks from now. Any questions?”   
The thing about Tsunade, was that she had a very demanding way of asking for doubts so most people would have kept their mouths shut. But since I’d rather do my job right, I wanted to know as much as possible about the task at hand. I was going to help shape the future Konohagakure shinobi after all.  
“How often am I going to be able to train them, and how much freedom do I have when it comes to teaching methods?”  
I would be deployed in terms of two months and have another two in between to train the gakis; it would be like that for the entire length of the war. I acknowledged my orders and left the room with a ‘By your leave, Hokage-sama’ before anything else could be thrown at me. This was just what I needed, another war and on top of that a whole class of preadolescent kids to babysit; wonderful. I’d never been good with kids, hell I’d never been good with people my age either; but you could call me a pussy if I backed down now.   
I sighed as I leapt through the rooftops (newly built rooftops, which people hated me for) towards my apartment. This was just great; a sleep deprived mission, followed by an announcement like that and when I got home, a brand new human punching bag called Kankuro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, this volume of DBD is over! I've started writing the next one already but idk when I'll post it. for the time being thanks for reading and supporting this fic, it's my firstborn child and I'm quite proud of it. Thank you so very much and see you on volume ii !!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> the complete version of this story is up on under the same username, I have no other acounts. Also the rating is for things that happen further ahead, I will try to put warnings in each chapter but if I happen to forget I apologize in advance, so PLEASE BE CAREFUL!


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